Why do you despise Christianity? If you seek the truth, you'll find it in Jesus.
I don't despise it, I just don't see that it has a lot of value or does nearly as much good as those that are trying to sell it would have you (me) believe.
I'm not unaquainted with religion just like I'm not unaquainted with golf, it's just that neither of them seems overly beneficial to me. I am living a happy, rich, and very fulfilling life. I have a great family, kids, friends, the whole enchilada. In fact I'm the happiest guy I know.
I look at people I know that are "true Christians" and some of them are as happy and fulfilled as I am and lots of them aren't. They might go to church on Sunday and love their Lord but they don't get along with their wife very well. Some of them have had kids that turned out terribly (drug abuse, criminal behavior, etc.) despite being raised in the most admirable of Christian homes.
I'm not saying that their religion is the cause of any of their problems. What I am saying is that they are no better or worse off despite the fact they have a book to follow. The major difference is that they have a place to go for a few hours of affirmation once a week...like an AA meeting.
I've heard claims about how "good" waiting for marriage is. OK, so where are the numbers? Is there a marked difference in the divorce rate between the two groups (those that abstain and those that don't)? I haven't seen it in any couples I've known in the last 20 some years.
I know my parents had premarital sex because I can do math. They're still married and it will be 45 years in March. I didn't hold anything back. I was pretty promiscuous but once I found the right girl I've been faithful for 21+ years now. Not just faithful but happily so.
Neither my wife nor I feel "cheapened" by the fact neither of us were virgins when we met. In fact it means more to me that she picked me knowing the difference between myself and some other guys she had relationships with. It was an informed decision rather than a guess or a hope or a shot in the dark.
Sure you can talk about what your sex life will be like with your fiancee but it's the blind leading the blind. You might as well take stereo advice from a deaf guy.
Sex is a bigger thing in most relationships than a lot of people think. It causes a lot of friction if things aren't going so well in bed. It's also like the canary in a coal mine that lets you know something else isn't up to snuff because she won't like fucking you if she's upset about just about ANYTHING else...but that's a different subject.
Following the logic that it's only special if you've never done it with anyone else before makes a second marriage somehow less, right? My buddy that I mentioned before married again after his first wife died. His current wife was divorced at the time. I don't think either of them feels any less special despite not getting first dibs on each other.
I don't think the path is nearly as important as the destination if you get to the right place. For some that means keeping it zipped until after the rings are swapped, for others that just isn't the case. It's up to each person to find the right path. I know I found mine and I'm more than happy with where I am.