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Honest Questions To Those Who Think Premarital Sex is Wrong

Hey t-men and women,

I have a sincere question for any of you who believe that premarital sex is wrong. I used to believe it was morally wrong, but I no longer feel that way.

  1. Isn’t sex the ultimate form of sharing and communication? I look at it this way: a kiss is a form of communication. You can kiss somebody and it can communicate various things, such as “I love you”, or “I missed you so much” or “Goodbye”. In this regard, isn’t sex just like a kiss but much, much more powerful? How could it be possibly be wrong if it is done responsibly?

  2. I know lots of married couples who absolutely hate each other. What I don’t understand is how is it okay for them to have sex and its not okay for two unmarried people who love and respect each other to have sex?

  3. What would you have said to an interracial couple as recently as 30 years ago. Back then, it was illegal for a white and non-white person to get married. So you could have two people who love and respect each other, but they can’t have sex because a bullshit law doesn’t allow them to get married. That doesn’t make sense to me.



Sounds to me like your horny.

Hey man, are you a christian?

SP, I’m guessing you’re referring to Christianity only. Christ taught and Paul expounded upon and clarified that this form of communion, this uniting of two spirits, was only to be done with one person. Many religions teach that sex can unify two people, but Christianity is the main one that teaches this unification should only happen with one partner. For your second question, that is unacceptable. Paul talk about the love and relationship of spouses, and what you mentioned does not correspond to that. The right (conservative meaning) Christian who would say that even non-Christians shouldn’t participate in premarital sex, that those who haven’t accepted Jesus should follow His teachings just as if they had committed to that life, would probably also say sex in marriage without love is not okay, that sex is for the unification of spirits only, as Buddhism teaches. Most Christians will not want someone who has no interest in accepting the whole teachings of Jesus to follow just some of the rules laid out by Paul. The legality of interracial marriage was just one of the many abuses of Christianity, the adulteration of Jesus’ teachings.

times are a changing.

I am going to go out on a limb here and state that I do not think marriage between two people, one being black and the other white was not illegal in 1973.

As far as your outlook on sex, it is fundamentally wrong!

Sounds like every other law. Its all bullshit.


“I am going to go out on a limb here and state that I do not think marriage between two people, one being black and the other white was not illegal in 1973.”

You have so many negatives in there, that I am not sure exactly what you are saying… I think I can guess though.

The limb you are on is cracking, but it didn’t quite break. As late as 1967, about a third of the states had laws that prohibited marriages on the basis of racial classifications. In that year, the Supreme Court found this unconstitutional.

Scary, but true.

As a christian, the bible pretty much says that premarital sex is wrong and following the bible is a great way to go in my opinion.


I added one to many “nots”. However, I knew that in 1973 mixed marriages were okay.

I’m not Christian, but I definitely wish I had waited until marriage to have sex. It just cheapens things. If you have sex to be close to people, what is the special thing you will share with only your wife?

And as far as being safe is concerned, I have a 4 year old that I could have named “Lifestyle Condoms”.

I think if you want to measure a society by their crime rate, how clean their cities are, and how comfortable you feel walking down the street the Japanese have it going on. For the most part they aren’t very religious at all. The have their community standards and morals like anywhere else but from what I understand their sexual hangups aren’t nearly as encompassing as in the US. You can look around any where you want, Christian, Muslim, VooDoo or whatever ever and find some pretty nasty things in some fairly large numbers committed by people that claim to be followers of one religion or another. It’s going to be a really serious sales job to spin the reality and sell me that Christianity has anything over any other belief system.

If it has a benefit where is it? Do people that wait for marriage to fuck each other have any lower of a divorce rate? Not so you could tell. Geeze, some of the religious leaders have been caught in rape, molestation, and infidelity scandals in the last 20 years or more.

Sure you can say that the ones that do wrong aren’t “real” insert religious affiliation here but the facts are that associating with and even leading large groups of these supposedly moral folks didn’t seem to rub off on them. In some cases the mantle of spirituality allowed them to continue their anti social behavior and so called pious people covered it up for them.

Until I see evidence that people en masse are somehow better off or lead better lives in the real world I’m not buying any of those books or scrolls as the key to living a good or moral life.

Marriage is for people that want to live together and raise a family. It’s a long term thing.

Here’s a thought. When you’re horny do you do your best thinking or is the little head throwing it’s voice into the mix? OK, assuming you’re a normal guy and the blood rushing to your crotch drops your IQ a tad…do you really think you want to make a life long decison to marry when most of you below the neck just wants a piece of ass? I’ve seen guys that couldn’t tell the difference between lust and love before and the results ain’t pretty. I think getting the sex out of the way, so to speak, frees you to make a better and more well formed decison on which woman to pair with for life.

Holding sex out as some sort of reward or bait to get a ring is a form of extortion, not morality. The usual disclaimer about not being the opinion of the station or station management applies.

I don’t think things are THAT much better now with regards to interracial relationships. My not-boyfriend is a Trini, I’m white/cherokee. We get stares and looks and family-not-happy feelings, even in “this modern age” in the metropolitan DC area. And my family’s not even all white! They’re just not BLACK. Pfft.


I’d argue that it is also possible to share a depth of emotion with a spouse that is more special than any of the sexual experiences you have had. If, in fact, you do NOT have an emotional connection to your spouse that is better than that which you’ve had with others, I am guessing that good sex won’t make up for it. My wife is my best friend, and if we were both paralyzed from the waist down in a car accident tomorrow, I’d still want to spend my days with her.

But I agree with the original premise: sex is a great thing, and just because it is before marriage does not make it bad. (Especially for men, who hit their peak long before they get married.)

I’ll take a stab at this from outside the religious realm so to speak. What if someone never wants to get married? what if they get married at 50 or 60?

There is also the difference between screwing and lovemaking. One involves exciting nerve endings in the genitalia of two individuals. The other involves deep mental stimulation and stimulation of the genitalia.

I’m not for or against it either way, I think it has to be an individual decision. If you make your decision based on your set beleifs, then that is you right to do so and hopefully nobody will say it’s right or wrong either way.


My advice to the young T-man is if you’re looking for that special woman, don’t rush into sex. Sex just gets in the way of building a relationship. You can’t get to know someone if you start off right away with sex. Invariably, the relationship is “all about sex”, and you never get to really know the person until way down the road.

This question reminds me of an article I read over at JB site. He and Lonnie Lowery discuss/debate the ethics of prohormones in sports. The problem with using philosophy to answer questions is that one can obtain all sorts of answers based on the criteria used. ie - Golden Rule, Utilitarianism, or Rule of Universality.

Fortunately, there is a rulebook for our lives. The Bible. It is a book where God reaches out to man, and He discloses his intent for our lives. As clintpatty said, premarital sex is not what God intended for us. For each “rule” in the Bible, there are reasons to follow it. Consequences exist for disobedience, and blessings for obedience.

And now that I’ve finished my brief introduction:
How could it be possibly be wrong if it is done responsibly?
It’s not. The key here is responsibly. The only responsible way to have sex is in marriage. I could list tons of consequences of premarital sex. But saving myself for my wife is one of the best decisions I think I ever could have made.

What I don’t understand is how is it okay for them to have sex and its not okay for two unmarried people who love and respect each other to have sex?
The married couples are stepping outside of God’s will with regard to their relationship with each other. This doesn’t mean you should disobey in a different way.

As far as your third statement, societies laws do not define what is right, only what is legal. Was interracial marriage legal? No. Is it immoral? No also.

SteelyEyes -

As to your assertions that Christians do horrible things, you are absolutely correct. I am a Christian, and I have treated people far worse than I should have. However, through the sacrifice of Christ, I am forgiven. Please don’t judge an entire religion on the basis of a few (percent) prominent mistakes.

Why do you despise Christianity? If you seek the truth, you’ll find it in Jesus.

In faith,

Doogie: You could save anal for that someone special!

Warhorse: I think peoples sexual habits and preferences says alot about who someone really is, so how can you get to know them without a bit of bump & grind??

I think it’s safe to say he’s not a mormon. dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb.lol

Why do you despise Christianity? If you seek the truth, you’ll find it in Jesus.

I don’t despise it, I just don’t see that it has a lot of value or does nearly as much good as those that are trying to sell it would have you (me) believe.

I’m not unaquainted with religion just like I’m not unaquainted with golf, it’s just that neither of them seems overly beneficial to me. I am living a happy, rich, and very fulfilling life. I have a great family, kids, friends, the whole enchilada. In fact I’m the happiest guy I know.

I look at people I know that are “true Christians” and some of them are as happy and fulfilled as I am and lots of them aren’t. They might go to church on Sunday and love their Lord but they don’t get along with their wife very well. Some of them have had kids that turned out terribly (drug abuse, criminal behavior, etc.) despite being raised in the most admirable of Christian homes.

I’m not saying that their religion is the cause of any of their problems. What I am saying is that they are no better or worse off despite the fact they have a book to follow. The major difference is that they have a place to go for a few hours of affirmation once a week…like an AA meeting.

I’ve heard claims about how “good” waiting for marriage is. OK, so where are the numbers? Is there a marked difference in the divorce rate between the two groups (those that abstain and those that don’t)? I haven’t seen it in any couples I’ve known in the last 20 some years.

I know my parents had premarital sex because I can do math. They’re still married and it will be 45 years in March. I didn’t hold anything back. I was pretty promiscuous but once I found the right girl I’ve been faithful for 21+ years now. Not just faithful but happily so.

Neither my wife nor I feel “cheapened” by the fact neither of us were virgins when we met. In fact it means more to me that she picked me knowing the difference between myself and some other guys she had relationships with. It was an informed decision rather than a guess or a hope or a shot in the dark.

Sure you can talk about what your sex life will be like with your fiancee but it’s the blind leading the blind. You might as well take stereo advice from a deaf guy.

Sex is a bigger thing in most relationships than a lot of people think. It causes a lot of friction if things aren’t going so well in bed. It’s also like the canary in a coal mine that lets you know something else isn’t up to snuff because she won’t like fucking you if she’s upset about just about ANYTHING else…but that’s a different subject.

Following the logic that it’s only special if you’ve never done it with anyone else before makes a second marriage somehow less, right? My buddy that I mentioned before married again after his first wife died. His current wife was divorced at the time. I don’t think either of them feels any less special despite not getting first dibs on each other.

I don’t think the path is nearly as important as the destination if you get to the right place. For some that means keeping it zipped until after the rings are swapped, for others that just isn’t the case. It’s up to each person to find the right path. I know I found mine and I’m more than happy with where I am.