T Nation

Home Depot 10 Man Battle


#81

[quote]countingbeans wrote:

[quote]Paste42 wrote:

[quote]countingbeans wrote:

lol

What is the kill range on a nail gun? Because if it’s gonna be all 3 of my choices, I need good range. I was thinking what you said and snipe fuckers. But if I’m gonna need temple shots for more than 36 inches away, fuck that I need a new plan. Plus the compressor is loud… Gives away my position, and I need to be close enough to a power plug.
[/quote]

Ramsets use .22 or .27 rat-shot to shoot nails. you could probably just use the rat-shot if you need some distance. Not effective but yeah…

Edit: Might not be actual rat-shot, more like just gunpowder?[/quote]

dude, I’m a CPA. You are speaking Canadian to me. I have fired quite a guns in my life, but all I know is load, lock, aim and pull trigger, lol.

What does that mean? 10" kill range? I mean, how close do I have to be in order to kill in less than 5-6 nails?

Shit… if the contestants are fat, this nail gun business isn’t going to work as well[/quote]

Lol, it’s made to be able to shoot nails into concrete through wood. If not a ranged weapon, it’s really heavy so you could club em or point blank ha


#82

Three of the biggest contractors.


#83

[quote]Evolv wrote:
Just for the psycological factor this has:

-Chain Saw (assuming there is mixed gas available for store use)
-Roofing shingles for body armor.
-Ducttape to construct armor.

Any ounce of morale in that store would quickly diminish by the sounds of people getting hacked up by a chain saw. I mean, just imagine, you’re walking down a dark quiet aisle, then all of a sudden RRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGG REEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!

lol, you would SHIT your pants![/quote]

Yeah, but you sacrifice any element of surprise. Same with a flashlight. As soon as you start the chainsaw or light a flashlight, all 9 of your opponents know exactly where you are.

The body armor idea is legit though, I might sacrifice my trashcan lid shield and build some shingle armor instead.


#84

[quote]debraD wrote:
Three of the biggest contractors.[/quote]

pretty sure they stopped putting barcodes (or the equivalent) on humans in the early 19th century.


#85

[quote]BONEZ217 wrote:

[quote]debraD wrote:
Three of the biggest contractors.[/quote]

pretty sure they stopped putting barcodes (or the equivalent) on humans in the early 19th century. [/quote]

lol

That’s why they have the printout of barcodes taped to the counter…


#86

(you’re just mad you didn’t think of it first :smiley: )


#87

1- Nine pocket tool belt
2- Two way radio
3- Orange Home Depot apron.(They do sell those, so it should have a bar code)

Put apron on around neck, put on tool belt around my waist, and turn on radio. I will walk around the entire store posing as a sales associate answering questions from 9 other guys asking where all the nail guns are, and pretending to call in items through my radio. As they all go around killing each other, there will be one guy left besides me. After he comes and asks me if I have seen anyone else in the store, I will tell him I heard something coming from another aisle. As he turns around, I will take off my tool belt, and strangle him. I win.


#88

[quote]BONEZ217 wrote:

[quote]overstand wrote:

[quote]countingbeans wrote:
Carrying around the compressor for the nail gun is gonna be a bitch, and therefor would take up all 3 choices right?

BONEZ stole my idea, well minus the poop. [/quote]

You could bring the tampons and then both of you could sit up there without your vaginas bleeding all over the place[/quote]

lol not one of these plans is even remotely feasible as ALL OTHER 9 will be trying to do the same thing. Getting to high ground is the necessary first order of business. Dont you watch cartoons? [/quote]

Obi-Wan has taught you well.


#89

1/2" chain - 6 feet - usable for a noose, a medium distance weapon, a distraction.

Knife

Self pushing Lawnmower/riding lawnmower - distraction, covers the noise of my movements as I have it run down various aisles.

Other considerations:

Nail Gun/Nails then I’d go outside, shoot the container of propane tanks that they have under lock and key outside and blow the building up. Game over.


#90

If it’s set up like the home depot here at home…

  1. bbq lighter
  2. lighter fluid, biggest bottle possible
  3. knife

Go to lumber section. Douse area with lighter fluid. Light. Run to opposite corner of store. Hide in equipment rental room and stab anyone who seeks shelter in there…no guarantees that I wont burn to death as well…but I know no one else will make it out as well.


#91

Why am I there? Who told me I have to fight against them? What is a tortoise?


#92

Pair of bush trimmers w/ long handles and long blades. The screws holding them together always seem to be pretty loose, break them apart, now I have two 6" blades on the end of a 2.5’ handles, one to carry in my right hand, the other to be carried around on the back of my shield or tucked into my belt.

Find something to use as a shield (metal trashcan lid)?

5-12’ heavy duty extension cord to be used as a trip/ potential choking device/noose making device.


#93

Id make a rebar club out of concrete and rebar. Also, all those people saying shit about driving the forklift around the store, that shit is slow and easy to maneuver around on foot.

A pick axe is never a bad choice.


#94

[quote]Rhino Jockey wrote:
Id make a rebar club out of concrete and rebar. Also, all those people saying shit about driving the forklift around the store, that shit is slow and easy to maneuver around on foot.

A pick axe is never a bad choice.[/quote]
Na, not using the forklift necessarily as a weapon, but a tool. Depending on your weapon choice, you could move large amounts of inventory (i.e. lumber, concrete/morter/sand bags, blocks, etc.) to construct areas for a tactical advantage. I don’t think this would be against the rules, since you’re not yielding these items as weapons… just rearranging the store a bit.


#95

[quote]Evolv wrote:

[quote]Rhino Jockey wrote:
Id make a rebar club out of concrete and rebar. Also, all those people saying shit about driving the forklift around the store, that shit is slow and easy to maneuver around on foot.

A pick axe is never a bad choice.[/quote]
Na, not using the forklift necessarily as a weapon, but a tool. Depending on your weapon choice, you could move large amounts of inventory (i.e. lumber, concrete/morter/sand bags, blocks, etc.) to construct areas for a tactical advantage. I don’t think this would be against the rules, since you’re not yielding these items as weapons… just rearranging the store a bit.[/quote]

Or you could use it to tip large heavy shelves over, creating a domino effect knocking out anybody hiding in the aisles, and and ruining the days of the guys sitting on top of the shelves on toilets eating beef jerky.

Also, its the home depot version of the cavalry and provides a definitive advantage when engaging unmounted opponents.


#96

[quote]pushharder wrote:
All I need is a grizzly bear.

And don’t any of you bastards say they don’t sell grizzly bears at Home Depot. They just keep 'em in the back; you have to ask for 'em.

[/quote]

unfortunately these are the types of bears you get at home depot…


#97

This would have been way more interesting if all the rules were the same, but the location was in a darkened Office Depot.


#98

[quote]theuofh wrote:

Also, its the home depot version of the cavalry and provides a definitive advantage when engaging unmounted opponents. [/quote]

A horse is cavalry, they move fast.

A forklift is going to be your coffin as I run 3 circles around it and stab you in the heart.


#99

Oh man. You guys are all fucked.

  1. I’m going to get a case of this stuff; http://www.homedepot.com/h_d1/N-5yc1v/R-202790226/h_d2/ProductDisplay?langId=-1&storeId=10051&catalogId=10053

Wasp spray that reaches out 22 feet. Eye irritant, inhalation hazard. incapacitating.

  1. I’m going to stash the case of spray in this bag: http://www.homedepot.com/h_d1/N-5yc1v/R-202017995/h_d2/ProductDisplay?langId=-1&storeId=10051&catalogId=10053

Then secure the bag snug across my chest with the shoulder strap across my back from L-R. 16 inches x 14 inches will at least protect my heart and lungs from some slashing/stabbing should an assailant get that close.

  1. And I’ll carry this: http://www.homedepot.com/h_d1/N-5yc1v/R-202223203/h_d2/ProductDisplay?langId=-1&storeId=10051&catalogId=10053

Machete with sickle hook. Axe blade heft and backbone for clavicle splitting swings, sickle hook for ripping throats…

If I’m hiding I’ve got a 22 foot perimeter to keep you fuckers back until I can assume appropriate battle posture. Even a nail gun at 22 feet isn’t going to kill me. If on the attack I’ll be able to spray you cocksuckers in the face from a distance and then hackity hack until you’re disabled.

Sorry guys but I’m only going to wing you. I’ll take you out of commission/competition and then imediately go back into hiding or find someone else to fuck up. If you start to scream I’ll fill your mouth up with wasp spray so fuckin keep it down. You’ll lay there bleeding (probably severely) with burny vision and throat until everyone has been taken care of. Then I’ll come back around and finish you off like a gentleman. I’m not going to waste all my energy on a gigantic brawl to the death with 9 of you, one at a time. I don’t have the stamina for that.

Lol at everyone who wants to get on a forklift or start some sort of Saturday morning “I’m goona build a fort” project. If you’re not on the hunt or on the defensive, you’re dead.


#100

^ Uh Brad remember when I said I wanted to make a trip out to Cali and have a burger and beer with you…

Yeah I guess I will just have to call you back.