Hollywoods Missed Opportunities

Off Topic
21

[quote]TheSicilian wrote:
I completely agree that Hollywood has f’d up w/ their casting selections in MANY movies.

Although, I DO like Hugh Jackman as Wolverine…even though he SHOULD be bigger.

BUT one of the WORST casting decisions and worst adaptations of a book was…

THE SICILIAN…Christoper Lambert??? What the FUCK is that about???

THIS is the real SICILIAN… http://www.sicilian.net/salvatoregiuliano/english/index.html

They changed the spelling of the name in the book…but EVERYONE knows it was loosely based on a real man…[/quote]

technically he is too tall for wolverine, by about a foot.

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[quote]TheSicilian wrote:
Although, I DO like Hugh Jackman as Wolverine…even though he SHOULD be bigger. [/quote]

And shorter. By about a foot. Thing is, that wouldn’t have sold as many tickets. No way were they going to get Bob Hoskins to play Wolverine – short, burly, hairy. Put him on a diet and you’ve got a perfect choice. Not exactly a box office draw, though. :slight_smile:

I can’t believe I’m about to defend these choices, but here goes:

Ah-nold for Conan. Yeah, they could have chosen better. They could have also chosen much, MUCH worse. Think about how often we see scrawny pretty-boys get cast as mighty heroes. Or the flavour of the month. Thinking of that, I’m inspired to list a few of my choices for bad casting in a moment. :slight_smile:

Cruise as Lestat. I thought he did a decent job. I don’t think Rice was just bought off or threatened into complacency – she probably went in expecting Top Gun, and got something different. So he wasn’t perfect, but he carried the role as well as could be expected from almost anyone. A younger David Bowie might have been creepy as Hell, though.

That said, I’ve got to get this off my chest: Rice’s reoccurring theme of incest and pedophilia really creeps me the fuck out. I mean… BRRRRR! Of all the fucking things to glorify! She does it again in the Witching Hour. I refuse to pick up another of her works after reading that.

Now, movies that have irked me:

Lord of the Rings
I know, this one raises brows. It was a beautiful piece, really… but it was just Hollywood schmaltz. The books centred around drama and suspense, where Hollywood went for wall-crawling orcs and dramatic chase scenes. A more subtle director could have milked powerful tension from some of those scenes instead of resorting to quick cuts and loud sound effects.

And don’t get me wrong when I say this, I love Sean Bean as an actor… but Boromir was repeatedly described as a brute of a man with obscenely thick arms and a mighty presence. He had the appearance of a hero of legend; dark haired, blue eyed – visually he was everything that people would have expected Aragorn to be.

Whereas Aragorn was supposed to be weather-beaten and not quite so handsome… nevermind pretty. Viggo’s an excellent actor, and did a fine job, but I’d have put Bean in the role of Aragorn and found some Brute to play Boromir. Maybe the kid who did that obscenely bad Hercules effort on the tube in 2005. (The Herc movie was horrid, but the actors were excellent.)

Orlando Bloom:
What the hell is it with people casting this guy to play big guys? What crack were they smoking? Was Bloom wearing a padded suit when he went in to talk to them?

I’ve no issue with him being the hero of Pirates of the Carribean, but they made him a swordsmith’s apprentice. A guy who should have been doing the heavy manual labour of metal-working preparing the materials for his master to shape. Shovelling coal, pumping the bellows, loading supplies, hammering bars of steel. He didn’t need to be huge, but he should have at least looked like he’d done a day of manual labour sometime in his life!

And, correct me if I’m wrong… but didn’t he start out as a blacksmith in that crusader flick of his? A blacksmith?!? Bloom?!?

Fine actor, but terribly miscast.

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[quote]gojira wrote:

Why do they do this to a best selling novel? There’s a reason why it was best selling - so why change the story?
[/quote]

In a word: hubris.

Wallowing in hype and money as the Hollywood types are, they often believe their ideas are all great, especially when it comes to “improving” on a best-selling novel or old movie. But too often, they’re dead wrong.

I happen to think the Lord of the Rings trilogy was one of the few exceptions of a well-made adaptation. But then again, it wasn’t made by “Hollywood types.”

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Troy was STUPID, but a lot of fun to watch. And I love Greek mythology as much as the next person. I even taught a two-month unit on it in my high school this year. “Troy” was long enough, and having the gods in the movie would’ve made it longer. I guess they wanted a more “realistic” look at the war, but they could’ve at least explained Achilles’ invincibility.

Lord of the Rings… the first movie was awesome despite a lot of things being left out. The second and third movies were reduced to being epic war movies, basically. Both disappointed me. I thought Orlando Bloom was just fine as Legolas, but they could’ve given him more emotions than to make him a friggin’ Vulcan.

And they left out the best part of the (I believe) first book, when he, with his comrades, watched the orcs celebrate finding them on the other side of the river thanks to the help of a giant winged creature. Legolas simply took out an arrow, pulled back, let it fly, and killed that creature. The orcs cried over their beloved creature’s death and cursed the fellowship from the other side. Frodo was taken aback because Legolas didn’t show any emotion at all. A T-Man! I’d remember more details, but my copy of the first book is at work.

Ooh, they RUINED the end of the first part of the first book. Frodo was blacking out on his horse but he told the dark guys that they will NEVER take the ring from him. They laughed, tried to cross the river, and of course got wiped out. The movie reduced Frodo to a sickly wimp. He was just that the entire film trilogy, basically.

Just to add a recent movie here, “The Da Vinci Code.” AWESOME book (whether you believe the stuff in there or not), but one of the most wasted effort into a movie ever.

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I agree with most of the tragically bad casting calls, but when you say arnold was a bad choice for conan, you must be smoking the crack.

The conan movies are absolutely awesome in every conceivable way. While arnold might have had an accent, he has more screen presence that any other bodybuilder, hence his success.

26

In defense of Hitchhiker’s Guide:

If you read the Ultimate Hithchhiker’s Guide(the one with all of the books in one volume, plus the short, ‘Young Zaphod Plays it Safe’, the foreword mentions the many different formats The Guide has gone through over the years, BBC TV, BBC film, radio, etc. It also mentions that everytime it was put into a new format, they intentionally changed the story line slightly, so people would get eh impression they were watching something new. I think the US film version followed the same idea, though it could just be that the filmmakers were incompetent and didn’t care about the original story.

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Midnight Mass. Great book, horrible ass movie. Really really bad.

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[quote]gojira wrote:

O.K., I’m done. I guess it just really chaps my ass …

[/quote]

Uh, does your husband know about this?

Maybe use more lube and take it slower?..

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TombRaider’s parents aren’t alive. Lara is the reason I started playing video games again in college, and Joli didn’t do a bad job at all. I think they could have picked someone with more shape but there was nothing wrong with her acting.

30

[quote]Tim K wrote:
Red Dragon - the main character was a bodybuilder. Not so in the movie.
[/quote]

I am a little glad they didn’t actually use someone who looked like the original role in the book. The entire concept did a great job of making bodybuilding seem like an activity only deranged killers take part in.

31

Blade three.IMO was a piece of piss.i cant believe a studio would actually ok that film looking at it on paper, i mean yeah its a sequel, has a good market set up etc, but do they have zero pride in their work?

i know its only a “blade” movie, but you take a super cool character and just destroy it, there are so many movies, remakes included, that are being made now and they are shockingly bad, hollywood seems to think that cause they have immense CGI, that it will make up for evrything elsetha is crap.wrong.

very few films being made these days with the simplicity and skill of aliens, or predator.

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[quote]pegasus3 wrote:
Blade three.IMO was a piece of piss.i cant believe a studio would actually ok that film looking at it on paper, i mean yeah its a sequel, has a good market set up etc, but do they have zero pride in their work?

i know its only a “blade” movie, but you take a super cool character and just destroy it, there are so many movies, remakes included, that are being made now and they are shockingly bad, hollywood seems to think that cause they have immense CGI, that it will make up for evrything elsetha is crap.wrong.

very few films being made these days with the simplicity and skill of aliens, or predator.
[/quote]

I agree completely. The first Blade become a hit on DVD. Everyone was waiting on the second one. By the third, I just knew they couldn’t screw it up…but they did. Whoever’s idea it was to bring Jessica Biel and Ryan Reynolds and have them become the leads with Blade as a sidekick needs to lose their job.

The director stated he had a completely different story set up based in the future instead of the present but scrapped the idea in favor of the crap they released. Special effects don’t make up for bad acting, bad casting and a fucked up script.

33

How about Daredevil?

Could 1 movie be ruined any more?

How are we supposed to compare Matt Murdock to Ben Affleck…I mean really, I have testicles larger than him.

Now…Jennifer Garner - Boo Ya!!!

34

If anyone has seen Simon Birch, compared to the novel it’s based on - A Prayer for Owen Meany - it blows ass.

And don’t even get me started on the Star Wars prequel trilogy. Had it not been for some key moments in each film all three would have totally sucked ass.

Damn you George, thanks for creating Star Wars though.

35

I’ll probably catch some flack for this but -

“One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest”. Much better story when told from the Indian Chief’s perspective, as in the book. Those who read it know what I’m talking about.

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[quote]Professor X wrote:
TombRaider’s parents aren’t alive. Lara is the reason I started playing video games again in college, and Joli didn’t do a bad job at all. I think they could have picked someone with more shape but there was nothing wrong with her acting.[/quote]

Oh yes they are (unless they’ve killed them off recently). They attended her funeral at the beginning of Chronicles.

Here’s her bio:

"The daughter of Lord Henshingly Croft, Lara was brought up in the secure world of aristocracy surrounded by tennis, butlers and corgis. But this all started to change when she went to the renowned school of Gordonstoun and found the mountains of Scotland.

Later, at her Swiss finishing school, she took to the art of extreme skiing and spent a holiday in the Himalayas searching for more challenging terrain. On her return trip however, the plane crashed deep within the mountains and Lara was the only survivor.

Two weeks later, when she walked into a mountain village, her experiences had had a profound effect on her. Unable to stand the suffocating atmosphere of upper-class British society any longer, she realised she was only truly alive when she was travelling alone.

Despite this drastic life change, Lara still retains the essence of her upbringing - most notably with her polite, upper-class accent.

Lara’s parents though, having sported hopes of her marrying the Earl of Farringdon, were less than convinced about this chosen lifestyle and ceased to associate with their daughter - even terminating her monthly allowance. The Earl is still waiting.

While in England, Lara lives in a mansion in Surrey which she inherited many years ago. At one time she saw little use in it but now realises that, if nothing else, it is at least handy for storing all the artifacts she has acquired on her travels. She has also had a custom-built assault course constructed in the grounds for training purposes."

37

[quote]baretta wrote:
I agree with most of the tragically bad casting calls, but when you say arnold was a bad choice for conan, you must be smoking the crack.

The conan movies are absolutely awesome in every conceivable way. While arnold might have had an accent, he has more screen presence that any other bodybuilder, hence his success.[/quote]

here is someguy who may well just have made a better conan…

J?n P?ll Sigmarsson may be a little old for the real young guys, but he was THE MAN.

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[quote]gojira wrote:
Professor X wrote:
TombRaider’s parents aren’t alive. Lara is the reason I started playing video games again in college, and Joli didn’t do a bad job at all. I think they could have picked someone with more shape but there was nothing wrong with her acting.

Oh yes they are (unless they’ve killed them off recently). They attended her funeral at the beginning of Chronicles.

Here’s her bio:

"The daughter of Lord Henshingly Croft, Lara was brought up in the secure world of aristocracy surrounded by tennis, butlers and corgis. But this all started to change when she went to the renowned school of Gordonstoun and found the mountains of Scotland.

Later, at her Swiss finishing school, she took to the art of extreme skiing and spent a holiday in the Himalayas searching for more challenging terrain. On her return trip however, the plane crashed deep within the mountains and Lara was the only survivor.

Two weeks later, when she walked into a mountain village, her experiences had had a profound effect on her. Unable to stand the suffocating atmosphere of upper-class British society any longer, she realised she was only truly alive when she was travelling alone.

Despite this drastic life change, Lara still retains the essence of her upbringing - most notably with her polite, upper-class accent.

Lara’s parents though, having sported hopes of her marrying the Earl of Farringdon, were less than convinced about this chosen lifestyle and ceased to associate with their daughter - even terminating her monthly allowance. The Earl is still waiting.

While in England, Lara lives in a mansion in Surrey which she inherited many years ago. At one time she saw little use in it but now realises that, if nothing else, it is at least handy for storing all the artifacts she has acquired on her travels. She has also had a custom-built assault course constructed in the grounds for training purposes." [/quote]

Go get the new game that just came out, Tomb Raider Legend (the best they have created). Also, go back to the first one. In both, her father is dead (in fact, the entire story line for the newer game is based on when her mom disappeared among other things).

Do one more thing…read the reviews of “Chronicles” compared to the other games. My guess is, they tried to CHANGE the story with that one. The Tomb Raider Legend web site also has a different story listed than the one you just quoted.

nerd off

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[quote]gojira wrote:

Interview with the Vampire - The first two books of the Vampire Chronicles" by Anne Rice were phenominal. I was hooked. When I heard they were making a movie, I wondered who they would cast for Lestat - a fair skinned, blond haired Frenchman. Anyone who read the novels knew Lestat quite well. And when we heard that Tom Cruise had been cast for the part, we all howled (and Brad Pitt as Louis, come on…). Even Anne Rice was upset. That was until she was either bought off or threatened with a lawsuit. At that point I lost all respect for her and never read another of her books again.

[/quote]

In actuality I thought that Tom Cruise did great as Lestat, given what he was given I can’t see him doing any better.

That’s not true about Anne Rice being “bought off” or pressured. She initially didn’t like the casting of Tom Cruise, but she said once she sat in the theater and saw him as Lestat she was quite impressed.

I believe it’s an issue of supply and demand, people are obviously paying and the movie industry can only do so well if it is being supported by the public. Movies seem to come and go, so taking them deathly serious, you won’t see especially because at the end of the day it’s a business.

Arnold as Conan, I grew up on that and thought he was great in that role, his charisma and presense always adds to the role. I didn’t see him as a buffone in the movie.

Everyone has an opinion and there isn’t one movie, one song, or anything that people will agree on, someone will always find something to bitch about, so impressing the masses is harder than it sounds.

I think if these movies stuck to the storylines they would be 5 hour long movies, and other people would find streams of things to complain about, but I do agree about some of the very obvious issues of other movies you listed, very nice list.

40

I agree on Blade 3 it was void of any passion or creativity. I didn’t believe how bad it was when I heard about it until I saw it. Blade isn’t even likable in a cool-sense during the whole movie and it is all around very bad.