Hollywoods Missed Opportunities


It always frosts me how Hollywood will take a great story and completely ruin it with horrble casting or by completely changing the story and characters. The ones that come immediately to mind are:

Conan the Barbarian - I grew up reading the Robert E. Howard novels. If you have never read them, make sure you get the early Howard/L. Sprague DeCamp novels as the later ones are poor imitations.

Conan is described as having smolering blue eyes and a shock of black hair. A brooding barbarian with catlike reflexes and great strength. Now, I love Arnold, but Conan he is not. And his accent didn’t help. Yeah, he’s big, but there were a ton of bodybuilders out in California at that time and they could have found someone to fit the part better…if they cared. Uh, and I don’t think they chose Arnold for his acting ability.

And with all the great stories, they chose to make one up. Why not use the Tower of the Elephant, Queen of the Black Coast or People of the Black Circle? (TC would have loved the Frost Giants Daughter). Nope, they thought they could do better than the original author. Pompous asses.
The end result was a bad, idiotic story with an actor that made Conan look like a bumbling buffoon. I was pissed.

Interview with the Vampire - The first two books of the Vampire Chronicles" by Anne Rice were phenominal. I was hooked. When I heard they were making a movie, I wondered who they would cast for Lestat - a fair skinned, blond haired Frenchman. Anyone who read the novels knew Lestat quite well. And when we heard that Tom Cruise had been cast for the part, we all howled (and Brad Pitt as Louis, come on…). Even Anne Rice was upset. That was until she was either bought off or threatened with a lawsuit. At that point I lost all respect for her and never read another of her books again.

Tomb Raider - Look, I’ve spent a lot of time with Lara Croft (a LOT OF TIME), and Angelina Jolie doesn’t even come close to pulling it off. And what was this shit with her father in the movie. Crofts parents are alive and well. Once again, bad casting and piss-poor screen writing.

Godzilla (1998) - I saved the worst for last. I actually watched this abomination again the other night (which is what got me started thinking about this subject). Toho made these movies for years with very little budget and a guy in a rubber suit. When I saw the first preview, I was so excited, I thought finally Hollywood will use its resources and special effects to make a great Godzilla movie. But what did we get? A giant iguana. Oh excuse me, a giant, parthenogenetic iguana that lays eggs but is referred to as “he”. And Matthew Bodrick. I wanted to slit my wrists. No wonder Toho was pissed. I was furious that Hollywood had missed this opportunity and now they can’t go back because no ones gonna wanna see a sequel to that piece of shit.

Hollywood misses opportunities to make great movies because they are more interested in getting “big names” to play the leads rather than casting an actor that fits the role. They change the story, or invent one to fit whatever special effects or other agenda they may have. When I saw they had made the movie Troy, my first response was, well how bad will this be? Another great story, poorly cast and poorly executed (they left the most important part, the Gods, out of the movie).

They leave out some of the best parts of novels. For example, in Jurassic Park, when the raptors are distracting everyone by the fence while the rest of the animals are climbing over the roof. They also made the park owner look like a kindly old grandfather, which was wrong. And they didn’t kill him off in the end either. Guess they wanted to save him for that sequel…

Why do they do this to a best selling novel? There’s a reason why it was best selling - so why change the story?

O.K., I’m done. I guess it just really chaps my ass that they do this shit and wondered if others were as disappointed as I am in Hollywood.

Who did die at the end of Jurassic Park? Someone did I just can’t remember who.

This will all end once movie production costs get low enough. And they are getting lower and lower.

Believe it or not, technology will empower creativity and will make the studio system obsolete.

I agree with everything you’ve said, except for Troy. That was an ok movie, well directed, partly well acted. You have to understand that in the great scheme of things, the fact that one screen-writer chose to not include gods in his interpretation of Troy really doesn’t matter. There will be so many more to come…

yeah. One of my favourite is that shitty war film with Bon jovi. U-517 where ‘An American submarine crew takes on a daring mission to capture a top-secret encrypting device from a Nazi U-boat’…

Im fairly sure a mathametical genius from England cracked the Enigma code, but hey it had bon jovi in.

Historical facts are important, and when they are reported incorrectly im pissed.

This thread could go on and on…

several years ago, the rumour mill had it that Atilla the hun was to be played by Arnold. Thank God someone saw sense and another part of history wasnt massacred.

[quote]supermick wrote:
yeah. One of my favourite is that shitty war film with Bon jovi. U-517 where ‘An American submarine crew takes on a daring mission to capture a top-secret encrypting device from a Nazi U-boat’…

Im fairly sure a mathametical genius from England cracked the Enigma code, but hey it had bon jovi in.

Historical facts are important, and when they are reported incorrectly im pissed.

This thread could go on and on…[/quote]

You are correct, and England was furious at the Hollywood “recreation”.

[quote]Classy_Cojones wrote:

I agree with everything you’ve said, except for Troy. That was an ok movie, well directed, partly well acted. You have to understand that in the great scheme of things, the fact that one screen-writer chose to not include gods in his interpretation of Troy really doesn’t matter. There will be so many more to come…[/quote]

But the gods started it and interferred at ever juncture. They are a very important part of the story.

It all started with Eris, the Godess of Discord, not being invited to a party…

But does Hollywood really care about who it upsets? What they really care about is that movie that they just spent millions of dollars to make actually makes them money. Even if it means reverting to the predictable casting of “so-called” names for parts that they are not suited for.

[quote]gojira wrote:
Classy_Cojones wrote:

I agree with everything you’ve said, except for Troy. That was an ok movie, well directed, partly well acted. You have to understand that in the great scheme of things, the fact that one screen-writer chose to not include gods in his interpretation of Troy really doesn’t matter. There will be so many more to come…

But the gods started it and interferred at ever juncture. They are a very important part of the story.

It all started with Eris, the Godess of Discord, not being invited to a party…[/quote]

The Gods are what made the story interesting…

[quote]whiteshadow69 wrote:
gojira wrote:
Classy_Cojones wrote:

I agree with everything you’ve said, except for Troy. That was an ok movie, well directed, partly well acted. You have to understand that in the great scheme of things, the fact that one screen-writer chose to not include gods in his interpretation of Troy really doesn’t matter. There will be so many more to come…

But the gods started it and interferred at ever juncture. They are a very important part of the story.

It all started with Eris, the Goddess of Discord, not being invited to a party…

The Gods are what made the story interesting…[/quote]

Absolutely!

[quote]gojira wrote:
whiteshadow69 wrote:
gojira wrote:
Classy_Cojones wrote:

I agree with everything you’ve said, except for Troy. That was an ok movie, well directed, partly well acted. You have to understand that in the great scheme of things, the fact that one screen-writer chose to not include gods in his interpretation of Troy really doesn’t matter. There will be so many more to come…

But the gods started it and interferred at ever juncture. They are a very important part of the story.

It all started with Eris, the Goddess of Discord, not being invited to a party…

The Gods are what made the story interesting…

Absolutely! [/quote]

While I do agree with you, the point I am making is that in the case of Troy it’s not distorted history or mythology, but rather a narrowing of the storytelling focus.

[quote]gojira wrote:

They leave out some of the best parts of novels.
[/quote]

In the novel Hannibal, Mason Verger has a sister, Margot who is a bodybuilder and is described as having massive shoulders and arms. She is fairly central to the plot in that it is through her that Lecter escapes. I couldnt wait to see who was cast in this role when the film came out, only to find that she had been left out. She had a workout scene in the book with a male nurse called Barney who is also a bodybuilder, he isnt a bodybuilder in the film although a character with his name is in it.

the u-571 people said it was entirely fictional, as if any war movie is really accurate.

Interview with the Vampire was not ruined. It was still a good movie. It just didn’t have the depth and mystery of the book. I don’t think it really could have. And while Tom Cruise was a terrible choice for Lestat, I can’t really think of an actor that would have played him well.

Red Dragon - the main character was a bodybuilder. Not so in the movie.

Hollywood butchers every book they ever try to put on the screen (there might be a few exceptions, but none come to mind right now). They’ll continue to do so in the future.

Another irritating trait of Hollywood is their remakes. With all the ‘talent’ in Hollywood, couldn’t they create a new story or put something in film that hasn’t been done yet? Nope, they’ll just rehash another classic - for better or worse (Poseidon Adventure, The Italian Job, King Kong, Oceans Eleven, etc., etc.).

Plus, whenever one studio makes a successful film, all the other studies come up with another just like the first. It isn’t about entertainment, its about the money.

[quote]gojira wrote:
It all started with Eris, the Godess of Discord, not being invited to a party…[/quote]

That makes for a funny pseudo-religion:

Though, there really is some good stuff in there.

example -
GREATER POOP: Is Eris true?
MALACLYPSE THE YOUNGER: Everything is true.
GP: Even false things?
M2: Even false things are true.
GP: How can that be?
M2: I don’t know, man, I didn’t do it.

I think in most cases it’s who has the connections and what they are willing to do on the casting couch or behind closed doors.when i lived in L.A. the people i knew that grew up there had a dim veiw on actors and hollywood ,they seemed to think of the majority of them were a bunch of low lifes that would sell their ass to get what they wanted.In most cases not all.

I completely agree that Hollywood has f’d up w/ their casting selections in MANY movies.

Although, I DO like Hugh Jackman as Wolverine…even though he SHOULD be bigger.

BUT one of the WORST casting decisions and worst adaptations of a book was…

THE SICILIAN…Christoper Lambert??? What the FUCK is that about???

THIS is the real SICILIAN… http://www.sicilian.net/salvatoregiuliano/english/index.html

They changed the spelling of the name in the book…but EVERYONE knows it was loosely based on a real man…

Hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy :frowning:

They left out a lot of the really good dialogue that made the book such an excellent read, I was upset.

for example:

“But Mr Dent, the plans have been available in the local planning office for the last nine month.”

“Oh yes, well as soon as I heard I went straight round to see them, yesterday afternoon. You hadn’t exactly gone out of your way to call attention to them, had you? I mean, like actually telling anybody or anything.”

“But the plans were on display …”

“On display? I eventually had to go down to the cellar to find them.”

“That’s the display department.”

“With a flashlight.”

“Ah, well the lights had probably gone.”

“So had the stairs.”

“But look, you found the notice didn’t you?”

“Yes,” said Arthur, “yes I did. It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying ‘Beware of the Leopard’.”

That’s some funny stuff, why wasn’t it in the movie?

[quote]Ren wrote:
Hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy :([/quote]

Check out the BBC TV Mini-series. At six hours, it does a much better job sticking to the storyline and the dialogue. “Dish of the Day” was awesome. So too the B-Ark. It’s on DVD at fine merchants everywhere.