Hi everyone. I'm here desperately looking for advice, because I'm dumbfounded by my lack of response to TRT. It has been what I consider a complete failure, even at my current dose of 200mg a week, which I have been on for a year. Now I'm stuck on it for life, and it has done absolutely nothing positive for me. I feel it was one of the worst decisions I've ever made, now I have to live with it.
I am the poster child for what an extremely "low T" guy would be imagined as. Problem is, I'm exactly the opposite (extremely high T). My symptoms include: brain fog/inability to focus and concentrate, extreme fatigue (always tired, I have no energy to do what I need to do after work at all), completely absent libido (despite having an attractive girlfriend whom I love), no drive/motivation/ambition, poor sleep quality, weak erections. I feel very timid and I don't have any confidence. I still feel weak and like I am so much less masculine than 90% of guys. I can hardly think clearly. I have a very skinny build and I have put on only a few pounds of muscle mass since starting TRT nearly a year ago, despite regular weight training and an on-point diet. I'm still only 150 pounds. Maybe that's because my workouts really suffer due to the fatigue and weakness (muscular weakness) I experience.
I get plenty of sleep (8 hours every night), I have a very healthy diet, etc. I drink only water, and lots of it. I have a low stress life. I would consider myself to be happy, but... I really feel nothing. I am always just "neutral" or "numb", at best- but nothing is wrong with my life, at all. I would say it's the best it has been in a decade or more. I'm not depressed.
My response to TRT has been almost literally "none". The only factors that I can say I have noticed any mild change in would be that it has in some sense decreased my overall sense of anxiety for the unknown ("I'll just deal with it, whatever happens, when it happens") and my mood has gone from "up and down" (feelings of sadness/depression) to "neutral" every day-- which may be good, but in a sense, it's just a feeling of numbness or lack of emotion. I don't get happy or excited. I just am at baseline all of the time. None of the "testosterone" traits you'd expect have shown.
Oh, it made me much hairier than I already was. I'm now like a bear, which wasn't exactly a good thing. Surprisingly it hasn't given me any acne, even at 200mg a week, despite me having bad acne as a teen/ in my 20's. I am in my late 30's now.
Anyway, before I get to the "TLDR" point, what can explain why I feel like absolute hell? I can't fathom how someone can be on 200mg a week of testosterone and literally feel no improvement at all. I look at the "what testosterone does" checklist, and I am like "nope, nope nope". I would think it was a scam if it didn't work for other people, lol. I'm still not convinced it's not. I feel just as bad or worse with high T than I did when I was first diagnosed hypogonadal with 250 ng/dl levels. It's not a new thing, as said, I've been on it about a year... and my test levels have gone from 500 ng/dl, to 750 ng/dl, to 950 ng/dl to >1500 ng/dl (and free test going up as expected with those, while maintaining ideal E2 of around 20-25 ng/dl the whole way) and they all feel the same-- like I did before I even got my first shot.
Thyroid is good, cortisol is within range. B12, iron, vitamin D are all good. Prolactin is good.
The most frustrating of these are that I still have absolutely ZERO libido. My erection ability actually got WORSE on TRT. And the brain fog and lack of energy is literally preventing me from enjoying my life at all. I sleep whenever I'm not working because I'm exhausted. But TRT didn't "cause" any of these symptoms-- it just absolutely failed to remedy any of them, even a little bit.
This isn't a matter of whether T is too low or too high. I have felt just as bad from 250-1500+ levels. I have stayed at each tier for months at a time to gauge how I felt on it.
I started out at 100mg per week, then went to 150mg per week, and now I am at 200mg per week, split into TWO test cyp injections per week (100mg monday, 100mg thursday). I take 2mg of Arimidex a week, split up in 0.5mg doses across the week. Please, can anyone imagine what could be the problem? I imagined TRT to be the panacea since I was diagnosed hypogonadal, but it has done nothing but cause inconvenience and disappointment.
This was taken a day or two prematurely, my trough levels are right at 1000.
Total Testosterone, Serum >1500 ng/dL(348 - 1197)
Free Testosterone, Direct 40.3 pg/mL (8.7 - 25.1)
Estradiol 20.5 pg/mL (7.6-42.6)
LH <0.2 Low mIU/mL (1.7 - 8.6)
FSH <0.2 Low mIU/mL (1.5 - 12.4)
Cortisol 19.2 ug/dL (6.2 - 19.4)
TSH 0.844 uIU/mL (0.450 - 4.500)
Triiodothyronine (T3) 93 ng/dL (71 - 180)
Free Thyroxine Index 2.4 (1.2-4.9)
T3 Uptake (32) 24-39
Thyroxine (T4) 7.5 (4.5-12.0) ug/dL
Prolactin 10.2 ng/mL (4.0 - 15.2)
Growth Hormone, Serum 11.8 ng/mL (0.0 - 10.0)
IGF-1 Insulin-Like Growth Factor I 424 ng/mL (88 - 246)
Vitamin D, 25-Hydroxy 42.1 ng/mL (30.0 - 100.0)
Vitamin B12 1157 pg/mL (211-946)
Iron, Serum 54 ug/dL (38-169)
I can post more labs if anyone requests a certain lab. I've been to endocrinologists and had everything checked out. No doctors can find anything "wrong" with me. My bloodwork looks ideal. Please help.