T Nation


Okay. Been married to my wife five years and have not been with anyone else during this period. Durign the past 6 months our marriage has been shaky with her coming home at 3:00am while out dancing with her friends. She has said she does not love me in the past, whereas now she does. A week ago I developed a lesion on my penis and two days ago I came down with flu-like symptoms associated with genital herpes. I have not been tested yet and therefore don’t plan on telling her anything until i get the results. Although she insists she has been faithfult o me, on one occasion she told me she had sex with another guy, but then said she only told me that to make me angry. Tonight she drove off to see a male co-worker off who is leaving upon military activation. She insista she does not even find this person attractive.

According to my reseach, herpes developes 2-20 days, or more, after contracting the virus. 15% of genital herpes come from oral herpes. It just so happens that she has had a rash around her mouth for over a month now.

Does anyone know if I could have held onto the virus in a dormant stage this long (five years)? Also, who am I having first time symptoms now? I had similar lesions when I was 19 but determined it was not herpes and just some kind of rash.


Get a good divorce atty. now! She’s cheating on you and unfortunately you probably have herpes. All the signs are there. Get ready and prepared; your marriage is done. This woman is not to be trusted! Hang in there buddy. Take care of yourself and do what’s best for you.
I would start the ball rolling without her knowing it. Do you remember what happenend to Brock. It probably hurts like hell, but if you get ready now you’ll catch her off balance. Don’t let on that you suspect anything!
Good luck!

it can stay dormant for a long time or not at all. can happen from ways other than sex also, but get you and your wife testedm ASAP.

I beleive it is in your best interests to kil her.Dont play her fucking games.Send that bitch walking!

Come on guys, (or gals) please help me out here

Herpes is a “simptom” of a weak imunitary sistem. I’ve had it since i was 8 or 9 years old, and whenever my imunitary sistem gets weaker it will appear, sun can also trigger it. You can catch it in many ways, not just sex(i wasn’t getting any pussy at 9) and the virus is the same in the oral and genital form, theres no difference. If she is cheating on you or not is a diferent subject and i can’t help you with that.

Herpes simplex II (genital herpes) usually appears in lytic phase first I believe before coming latent. However, it would say in some cases it could go into latency from the get go. I also don’t know how long it can stay in latency, but once you have it you have it for life just as any other virus in the Herpes family. I wouldn’t think that 5 or 6 years is that hard to believe. Go to a MD and get that check out. You can go to a public health clinic and get tested and a lot of info under an alias if you are worried about being known.

If ou hd similar lesions at 19, then you may have contracted the virus then. Herpes can lay dormant for years, then flare up. Stress can be a factor in causing the flare up. Sounds like you’re under a little stress with your wife. I hope everything works out. Herpes isn’t the worst thing in the world.

I can’t wait to see the replies to this one!

I’m just going to answer the herpes issue, I can give exact references if someone wants.

The rash around her mouth may or may not be type II herpes, normally sores scab and heal after 2 weeks or so. Have your sore checked immediately, while it is still active so they can determine if it is herpes, and if it is, weither it is type I or II. You can also have a blood test done, but that is only useful during your first outbreak, and then they take more 4-6 weeks later. They compare antibody levels in your blood, it only works if this is your first outbreak Some people DO hold the virus for years and never have an outbreak… though they can pass it around without knowing it. It’s also possible to have lesions inside the urethra and none on the head or shaft, so if you have had a ‘urinary infection’ in the past five years it is possible that it was an outbreak. Some people never have another outbreak after their initial one, but again can transmit it.

Don't kiss her, or touch any of the sores, especially if they are still weeping. Wash your hands VERY well after you touch your penis. It is possible to spread the virus to other parts of your own body - though this is rare.

Oral herpes can be transmitted through kissing, sharing a towel, sharing a cup, just about any contact that moves the fluid from the sores to contact with you.

My condolencses - it does sound like your marriage is over. As far as the herpes goes - if you have had it before (when you were 19?) it can remain dormant and then become active years later. It does not sound like your wife is honest nor ethical (understand what “I do” means). Go get tested, take the acyclovir, have her tested (if she loves you and was honest - she should be willing to be tested) and consult a divorce attorney as well as a shrink. The divorce attorney for the obvious and the shrink for your head being mirred in denial about your marriage.

Yes, it is possible that you got it from a blow job. Obviously getting tested will help you out. No I am pretty sure herpes does not stay dormant for that long. Could be she is fucking around on yah, but that is yet to be seen. I do have a buddy, who is married, where genital warts all of a sudden appeared. He was married four years before this happened. The Doc said it can be dormat that long and just shit happens. In other words go get tested, if you got them, she screwed another dude.

Dude, get to a doctor and get it checked out. Ask him about dormancy and all of that. However, if it’s herpes, I would think your wife has some SERIOUS explaining to do – and that you have a major decision to make.

Is it possible that it has remained dormant. http://www.thebody.com/sowadsky/symptoms/symptoms.html is a good pic of herpidic sores. Also try sexuality.org for more information.

It’s possible to carry the virus and not know you’ve had it for a very long time. I suspect you’ve got it from your wife who went out dancing with some guy. After all, you said she’s got this rash on her mouth for about a month. Also, it’s possible that you may have gotten the herpes on your genitals by somehow getting it on your hand then passing it onto your privates. The best person you would talk to is your doctor.

Dude, I’m no doctor but it sure sounds like you have some kind of STD! I hate to be the one to tell you this but from your post it sure sounds like your wife is cheating on you. If she has said in the past that she doesn’t love you then she may have started sheating then. I don’t know her side of the story but did she have a reason to feel this way and to possibly cheat on you? Even if you were in the wrong it still doesn’t make cheating ok it’s wrong! I would be worried if my wife came at 3:00 am on a regular basis! We all need our space and time with friends is a good thing although it depends on her friends agendas. Are her friends married as well? How old are the two of you? Man, she went to see a male co-worker off to the military??? I would be skeptical of that! She should have invited you along but she may have had ulterior motives! You need to sit down with your wife and tell her exactly how you feel and get to the bottom of all this running around! Best advice I could give you is if you do find out that she cheated on you it will hurt and if you want to stay with her then trusting her is going to take a long time! I know Ive been there and I was crazy enough to knock on the guy’s door at 3:00am and beat the piss out of him I was lucky I didn’t get locked up! He shut the door on me but I pushed it open and went in after him so don’t do anything stupid like I did! Hopefully she hasn’t cheated on you but it doesn’t sound good and for God sakes and yours get your ass to the doctors right away!!! Good luck dude you need it!!!

FYI, the lesions when I was 19 were determined to NOT be herpes.

FYI, the lesions when I was 19 were determined to NOT be herpes.

You havent determined whether these lesions are either.
The other diagnosis COULD HAVE been wrong

Wait until you get AIDS to realize you married a whore five years ago.