When I was on my early 20s, I was quite depressed. Not due to deep reasons, but enough to make me a very negative and grim person. While I managed to grow out of it (to never go back), I remember how pessimistic I was and how I’d shot down any suggestions that people would have for me, to feel better. One distant friend personally tried to cheer me up for a long time, to make me feel better, but it just didn’t work.
Because of this, I’m quite empathetic towards depressed people, because I really know how hard it can be, but right now I have a situation at hand that is costing me my sanity and years of my life.
My (ex)girlfriend had a bit troublesome youth. Father disappeared (and has deleted all tracks, as he’s someone important), mother wanted to abort her, but couldn’t, so kinda disliked her first daughter, her first child. She grew up feeling unwanted.
She has been depressed all her life, but this depression is hidden when she’s in love, but as soon as the honeymoon is over, depression takes over. And is toxic…and eventually kills the relationship.
This is what has happened with our relationship and, as I said, I’m extremely empathetic to depressed people, so I’m really trying my best to help her, but she’s really shooting down any suggestion with excuses and more excuses. She refuses to visit a therapist, because they haven’t helped her in the past (it seems she went twice and expected a miracle) and has a vicious cycle. If she keeps herself busy, she’s fine, but as soon as she has some free time, she falls for it again.
What can I do? I mean, I can just move on and forget about her, but doesn’t seem right, especially when I’ve been in the other side of the fence and I know how hard it is, how dark everything looks.
PS : There’s not even anything for me in here, as she has killed all my attraction and love. I can’t even feel relaxed around her anymore…