T Nation

Helping My Girlfriend Lose Weight

In terms of a big jump start, she could go on the Velocity Diet for 28 days. After that, I would honestly just have her stick to Berardi’s 7 rules, and not get super caught up in counting calories. I think if she did that, she’d be very pleased with her results.

[quote]Mr. Clean & Jerk wrote:
A_W wrote:
fluffgirl wrote:
Water with lemon or herbal tea is fine but NO soda and NO juice and NO coffee!

What’s wrong with coffee?

Nothing is wrong with coffee. Everything is right with coffee. Coffee is a tried and true ergogenic/thermogenic. That is to say, it assists you in busting your ass the best you can and it creates heat in the body to accelerate calorie burning. Additionally, for most people it is the only bitter root they have in their diet and it is the foremost source of antioxidants in the Western diet. If this is an option, buy your own organic coffee (FAR different from conventional) and drink that instead of the dining hall coffee.

Thanks a lot for the information. Sorry for the Hijack OP, good luck to you and your girlfriend.

I think I can chime in with a little bit of advice, as I have gone from 240 in Oct. of 06 to 195 as of now. I was out of shape as well, and starting from a bad metabolic state, (complicated by medications)…

So a few things that might help that helped me a lot:

  1. Throw away the scale. Seriously. I never weighed myself one time when I was losing the fat. I just had faith that if I did the right things daily that it would happen for me. You go up, you go down, you go up you go down, etc…the only thing that matters is if you are trending down.

  2. Hit whatever weights you can as soon as you can.

  3. Do interval training on a machine, and go for long walks every day. I found this was the easiest and fastest way for me to lose.

  4. Cut out ALL calorie containing beverages. This was a BIG one for me because I was drinking Starbucks all the time and fruit juice. I started getting used to drinking water with every meal and now it is a habit and I enjoy having water with my meals. Ice cold water.

  5. Eliminate milk. Seriously.

  6. Read the 7 Habits of Highly Effective Nutrition and follow it like the Bible. Pre prepare your meals for the day and week, and just graze throughout the day.

I am in college and doing this, and it is pretty easy. Hard boils eggs and remove the yolk, buy protein bars, make little individual bags of mixed nuts and veggies, little bags of carrots, etc etc.

Get creative and do what works for you. College isn’t really an excuse, it just means you have to plan your meals out. Is this dorky? Sure, but it works.

Just a few things that really helped me.

Finally…be kind to her and supportive. I’m sure you are, but just wanted to add that.

Still stuck, we haven’t gotten any definitive measurements or weighed but she feels like she’s just getting bigger (fatter) after six weeks of highly increased activity and moderate changes to diet. We’re making an appointment with a nutritionist to get an approximation of the amount of calories she should be getting (we’ve been aiming for about 2000). Any ideas?


This is what to do.

Plan meals ahead, No time to think oh but… ur gonna have to try… attempt at say… buying for 2 or 3 days at a time… this avoids wastage.

Good amount of cardio and weights are nessisary.

Have a woman talk to her, boost her belief, Woman see it not so clearly as we guys do.
you must understand bro,
we can bulk from 150 pounds to 210 and cut down to 195 and we would be proud.

some woman too, But drastic changes, for woman coz of their Pms and their style of body (how it works :p) It can have big big effects on their hormones.

Try get a woman u know… preferably not a halle berry, Dont want her getting wrong ideas… just someone she trusts to talk to her… atleast then she might be able 2 incorportate it.

even if she cannot see it on her, Show her how YOU are progressing…Show her how YOUR gaining the benefits of working hard…

and how She IS going to also see the rewards come over time aswell.



man a woman is naturally based around concept of beauty.

Just try hold her on tight… and make her follow the diet

make her work hard, keep her by ur side.

wont be easy man… but dont stop.

same my mum has high bf% and her diet shes on… slimming world is utter crap.

so am gonna try… hope she listens :frowning:

anyways good luck bro am here…


Well, I think I have to add some thoughts. The first thought, and I am surprised no one mentioned it, is that your girlfriend may not be telling you she is discouraged by the results. What she may be telling you is that she does not enjoy working out with you. Often women communicate more subtly than men. You may be hearing the “literal” content of the messages she is communicating, but may be completing disregarding the “emotional” context of those messages.

When you approach the workouts you may be approaching things from a “male” perspective. This is obviously natural, since you are a male. Men tend to push each other in the gym: yell “one more rep” or “come on you can’t wimp out now”. To a woman such push and prodding may communicate “you are weak” or “you cannot do it” or “you are not achieving what you should be achieving.” You may need to take a less competetive, pushing approach and more of a quiet, supportive, and listening approach in the gym.

Second, the swimming may not be the best exercise if she feels you are not supporting her. I am not saying you are not trying to support her. What I am saying is from her perspective you may seem confrontational and unsupportive. When you swim you are in one lane, she is in another. You do not swim “together”; you swim “separately” even though you are in the same pool. If she wants to do aerobics, maybe you can do aerobics with her. Make her a deal: I’ll do aerobics with you on Tuesdays and Fridays if you do weight training with me on Mondays and Thursdays, or something to that effect. If you design a program where you are both working together and both doing activities each choses, she may be much happier.

As far as the body image, there may be some real struggles up ahead. You are trying to be helpful by telling her she looks fine. However, this may not be what you need to do. I infer that you really do not understand why she feels this way about her body. Sit down and tell her that you do not understand how she feels, but you want to understand how she feels. Then, shut up and listen. And then listen some more. And then, listen some more. Just keep asking questions and listen, but do not give advice until: 1) you truly do understand how she feels, or 2) she asks for your advice. You will probably have to fight every male fiber in your being to just shut up and listen, but I think it will help. Over time this type of communication will build trust, and she will be more open to your input and suggestions.

Above all, just stick with it. Good luck.