T Nation

Help with Women

Please I am need of help. I can’t figure women out. Everytime I think I have something down, it backfires. I tried the truth thing… it started to work, then it totally backfired. Am I just too young (I’m 17) or is my perona to blame? Any bit of advice will help.

Do you resemble any of the kids from “Freaks and Geeks”?
Why not try it on a staff member?(they might be old enough to respect your honesty)
Or, just go with the American Pie methodology and have a towel on hand.

At 17, I think you’re WAY too young to be worrying about it. Be yourself. Don’t try to remold yourself to be accepted by a woman. Don’t try any “method” for gettign them. Get your life together first (education, carreer or business), then if you haven’t already found the right woman along the way, she will probably find you.

Well as a 41 year old, I can tell you the honesty thing works wonders when you get to be my age. I remember at your age doing the exact same thing. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. If you want a wholesome girl, it usually works. If you want a naughty girl, it pays to be a little bit of a bad boy and lie a little. The problem is, you seem like an honerable young man. Don’t go too far into the bad boy world and lose your “real” self. Also, keep in mind that most naughty girls got that way by lying a little too. So, don’t think that they will be faithful to you. Keep an open mind if you delve into their world, so you don’t set yourself up for a fall and get hurt.

Nobody has figured them out. Trying to will start you on the path to alchoholism. Just remember one thing, they are as nervous about it as you are. Just talk to them like people, not special, not inferior, just plain old human folk. Most women will turn you down, go on and get over that fact ( or maybe that just happens to me). Keep throwing your lure into the water, eventually you’ll catch a fish. Just don’t be a dumb ass like me and try different techniques. That shit don’t work. There’s no magic bullet kid, ya gotta just keep trying.

sorry, if i told you i’d have to kill you. but seriously, decide what you want and accept nothing less. you’ll find her by being patient. of course you should be honest! that’s a great place to start…and expect the same from her! relax, we’re just as nervous as you are. give it some time and patience, you’ll find your vixen.

Try asking her questions to elicit her values, then slot yourself into those values. At the same steer the talk towards sex, and make a point of touching her (but start small). Eventually she’ll be touching you, then you’ll both be talkin’ sex, just don’t get sappy on her (not at first anyway). Done properly you can get an easy lay, although I’ve outlined about 1/100th of the possible approaches and there’s a lot more to it… now I’m not after an easy lay myself, but it does help to get to know the girl quickly and get them in that ‘lovin’ mood…! If you know what I mean…

Your persona is clearly to blame… JUST KIDDING! Think of playing the dating game like you would playing baseball. If you get 3 hits every 10 at bats you’re a star even though you failed 70% of the time. Be happy when it goes your way, enjoy the moment cuz all things are fleeting. When things don’t go your way, learn from your mistakes. Knock 'em dead. outlaw

Above all I think you have to have confidence in yourself. Not super cockyness, but just cool laid back confidence. You don’t need to have huge muscles or a ton of cash. Just know that you’re you and you’re cool. The other thing that helps is to listen to what the girl is saying and to be interested in her and her life (or at least do a good job pretending). Don’t just talk to her about how much you bench press or she’ll drop you like a bad habit. Remember, your a T-man. If you see a girl you like, you gotta go for it, no matter what. She might say no, but she might say yes. Don’t ever think “she’d never go out with me” because as soon as you do that you lose. I remember when I was in college and I saw the finest chick ever who was working in the school library. I was shy and it took a month before I worked up the courage to ask her out, but a week later I had a new girlfriend, and everyone was asking how I landed such a babe! The other thing I will say is that things get better once you get away from the whole “high school popularity contest” bullshit. You’re only 17 dude! Don’t give up!
In case you’re wondering, I’m 26.