Help With Neighbor

Man, that totally sucks. For everyone! And her kid is getting the short end of the stick being pawned off all the time.

I hope you guys can find a solution that works. As for running, bring the family up to Fredericksburg and run with us. It’s easier to avoid her if you travel! And vent about the neighbor. lol!

This is the same situation I once had. It will pass with time once the boundries are established. But your boundries are different that your wifes. You can give the lady the "go to hell’ look…shit I do it to my wifes friends when I’ve had enough, but that just won’t work. s

She has a relationship with your wife that you don’t share, so you need your wife to say something. her words mean more than yours do…sorry but the truth is that.

I am totallly sympathetic. The effect to the relationship is greater on your wife than it is to you since you are at work when most shit happens. Your wife needs to firm up a bit. Her trade off is the childcare, which is important, but the score seems one sided. More like an indetureship than agreement.

You and your wife need to agree on some mutual rules, and enforce them. Remember they need you as well, so they should be ok with your views.

[quote]Rockscar wrote:
This is the same situation I once had. It will pass with time once the boundries are established. But your boundries are different that your wifes. You can give the lady the "go to hell’ look…shit I do it to my wifes friends when I’ve had enough, but that just won’t work. s

She has a relationship with your wife that you don’t share, so you need your wife to say something. her words mean more than yours do…sorry but the truth is that.

I am totallly sympathetic. The effect to the relationship is greater on your wife than it is to you since you are at work when most shit happens. Your wife needs to firm up a bit. Her trade off is the childcare, which is important, but the score seems one sided. More like an indetureship than agreement.

You and your wife need to agree on some mutual rules, and enforce them. Remember they need you as well, so they should be ok with your views.

[/quote]

Very good points Rockscar. And Ive told my wife its her fault for letting her walk all over her but she just shakes her head and says I cant deal with her doing this shit and you bitchn about it. Im like then do something about it or let me.

I think I will sit my wife down tonight and have a good talk about all this for the second time.

Goku

[quote]Gothic77 wrote:
Man, that totally sucks. For everyone! And her kid is getting the short end of the stick being pawned off all the time.

I hope you guys can find a solution that works. As for running, bring the family up to Fredericksburg and run with us. It’s easier to avoid her if you travel! And vent about the neighbor. lol![/quote]

Yea man it does suck. I think my wife just has a problem with telling her no.

Because they where friends while I was gone to Iraq. I mean I didnt even know the girl before I left. We had just moved in and them I left 2W later. There are other things that I could keep writing about but this thread would be 10 pages long. But, she did this shit when I was gone and I thought it would stop when I came back. Boy was I wrong.

And I would try to come up there and run, but Im sure once she got wind of it she would be all over us wanting to go.

I mean its like this, when we go to our friends house out on 1604 he is like dont tell her she will want to come and I dont want her at my house.

Goku

[quote]lumbernac wrote:
Goku: if you report her out of anger stemming from a personal issue like this could it come back to haunt you? cover ya ass man. Fukk sounds obnoxious[/quote]

Thanks for the concern lumbernac. But, I will cover my ass if it comes to that.

And yes she is obnoxious.

Goku

Use your chain of command, soldier. You’re not going to laser designate her for a hellfire or tactical nuke – just report the issue up through your food chain. The problem you’re having unfortunately happens all too often in both peacetime and as today during unit deployment. You make it sound as if her spouse is still deployed, but the petticoat chain of command for her spouse’s unit should be able to handle it; and if not, then you keep your chain of command informed about that, so his chain of command can have the opportunity to correct the issue, if need be.

[quote]Mongo_KS wrote:
Use your chain of command, soldier. You’re not going to laser designate her for a hellfire or tactical nuke – just report the issue up through your food chain. The problem you’re having unfortunately happens all too often in both peacetime and as today during unit deployment. You make it sound as if her spouse is still deployed, but the petticoat chain of command for her spouse’s unit should be able to handle it; and if not, then you keep your chain of command informed about that, so his chain of command can have the opportunity to correct the issue, if need be.[/quote]

Translated in civilian terms…

“Tell them and they will have to deal with.”

[quote]Goku_SS4 wrote:
Yea man it does suck. I think my wife just has a problem with telling her no.

Because they where friends while I was gone to Iraq. I mean I didnt even know the girl before I left. We had just moved in and them I left 2W later. There are other things that I could keep writing about but this thread would be 10 pages long. But, she did this shit when I was gone and I thought it would stop when I came back. Boy was I wrong.
[/quote]

You’d like to think ppl were intuitive to some degree; this chick is obviously as thick as a brick. Sad. I hope your wife can be receptive to what you’re saying and then grow some ovaries (women don’t have balls ;)) and speak up.

[quote]

And I would try to come up there and run, but Im sure once she got wind of it she would be all over us wanting to go.

I mean its like this, when we go to our friends house out on 1604 he is like dont tell her she will want to come and I dont want her at my house.

Goku[/quote]

Well YOUR FAMILY would be welcome anytime. :slight_smile: And I will not extend that invite to the neighbor. She’d hitch a ride w/ you. :stuck_out_tongue:

Does your wife actually like this woman? Are they friends or does she just put up with her shit? Sounds like you should really find some other child care situation and cut all ties with this woman (I know easier said than done, but…)

I understand your wife probably hates confrontation (most women do), but look at the stress she is adding to your family’s life. Suck it up and confront her - once the “storm” passes, you will all feel relief. Good luck!

[quote]Jillybop wrote:
Does your wife actually like this woman? Are they friends or does she just put up with her shit? Sounds like you should really find some other child care situation and cut all ties with this woman (I know easier said than done, but…)

I understand your wife probably hates confrontation (most women do), but look at the stress she is adding to your family’s life. Suck it up and confront her - once the “storm” passes, you will all feel relief. Good luck!
[/quote]

Well, my wife really just tolerates her instead of really like her.

And yes she doesnt want to make waves. Im tring my best to get her to let me or her say something. I think Im gonna have a talk with the neighbor tonight. Depends on how mad the wife gets when I tell her.

Your trying to hard to figure her out…

Let that bish try to figure you out for once. Just walk up to her, donkey punch her, and walk away singing “zipp-a-d-do-da!”.

That will keep her guessing.

Too much drama. You can’t let someone like that walk all over you. She may not even realize that what she is doing is wrong. Some people just aren’t raised with manners. I know you have a lot of pent up tension on this issue, try and handle it nicely first. If she is still watching your child then it’s not a good idea to “tell them off” in my opinion. Her resentment towards you will probably deflect onto your child. Sounds like you need to get someone else to watch your child anyway (as mentioned by others). One last point: You are the man of the house, you need to make the final decision. If your wife says “no”, just let her know that you are doing what you feel is best for your family and you have taken her thoughts into consideration, but you are still going to talk to them.

Neo

Well, to all thanks for the advice and input.

What I did was set my wife down and let her know what was up. She didnt like it to much but in the end she seen the light.

What I had to do was sit my wife and my neighbor down at the same time.

It was handled pretty well I think. It was rough at first. A little of raising the voice and then some calm talking. Then some of oh I didnt know.

We tried to explain to her that my wife has to study just like she does for school and clean house.(which i help with.) So that it puts a burden on us when she brings her kid over for us to watch all the time. And that me and my wife want to do things by ourselves. That we started runnig together as a time to just relax and be with each other. I think she took it pretty well. Did I mention that it was pretty loud at first.

Well, long story short it turned out ok. I didnt get to say all I wanted. I thought it would be best to keep some things to myself. Untile we find a new babysitter. But, we shall see how it works now for about 2 weeks. I will giver her that much to get her shit together. Hopefully it stops. Again thanks for all the input and advice.

Goku