Help Relieving Extreme Guilt, Please Read

I created this new account to ask this question because I don’t really want any T- Friends to know who I am because I’d be embarressed.

Basically I feel asbolutly awfull about something I did in the past. I can’t stop thinking about it, sometimes my brain feels “pumped” from all the worrying.

About three years ago I was in a nightclub with a few friends when this girl comes on to me and starts flirting. I go along with it (why not) and before I know it, we are kissin on some seat. After a while we decide to go back to my place. She tells me before sex that shes engaged and has two kids! I tell her no way, I can’t do this and then she tells me " But i Don’t love him" For some reason I interpreted this as “its ok, shes not really in a relationship if she doesnt love him, go for it.”

Of course this was me thinking with my dick. Afterwards, she went back to her home up the North and i Broke off all contact with her. I wanted nothing to do with her.
This happened three years ago. I was 21 at the time, and I didn’t think much about it because i was young, immature, free and single and probably drunk. I cant remember all the details.

Now I am 24 and i have a serious relationship and I’m feeling regret. And I don’t know if i can accept what i did. I feel like I am a scumbag that doesnt deserve happiness in a relatonship. I worry about that man and his two kids up the North, will he be played by some careless woman for the rest of his life? I am ashamed that I was part of her making a fool out of him. I am ashamed that I was weak, and had sex with his Fiance. That last line disgusts me.

I am disgusted

I keep thinking of some decent man up the North with 2 kids, and a cheating fiance, and he doesnt know any better. I feel like he deserves to know the truth but I can’t find him. I don’t know how to deal with this guilt. I used to like who I was, now I dont want to be on my own. I’m nearly crying as i type. If i Had the morals that I Have now back then, I would have kicked that bitch out, and rang her boyfriend off her phone.

But I was 21 and sexually inexperienced, a bit drunk and pathetic. I dont know how to be happy again. I dont want to become clinically depressed, and anxious. I used to enjoy being a positive person. Now whenever I try to be happy this guilt drags me back. A few freinds of mine told me that she was the one in the wrong, that she lured me in and she “knew what she was doing. You were single, you didnt cheat, she did”

But I still feel wrong. I cant get this cloud of misery off my shoulders. I need a different perspective on the situation, one that will help me to get over this.

If you can offer any advice on dealing with guilt I would more than appreciate it. Its effecting my entire life.

I feel like this is something that “isnt who i am” but i cant get away from the guilt. I used to take pride in being a generally decent person, but this memory shakes my foundations. It challenges the way i percieve things, it makes me feel unacceptable, immmoral, prick, fuckin stupid. I dont want to feel like that dickhead who slept with a man’s woman.

I would never approache another man’s woman. Never. Ever. its not something I would ever thought i would do. Its something i take serious, and this memory shakes my whole fuckin life.

The longer this goes on, the more I forget about the details of that night. And the more ambiguous the situation becomes. More to worry about.

Lately I honestly cant remember if she told me before or after sex that she was engaged and had two kids.

All i remember saying was “no i cant do this” after she said it. Im thinking about it so much that anything else is exhausting

She really didnt give a shit. I do.

Can anyone help with this mess, i feel like a cunte.

I think you should see a therapist, because you seem to be experiencing an exaggerated amount of guilt that I don’t think is normal.

Its his fault marrying marrying a cheating slut.
Fuck it.

[quote]That One Guy wrote:
I think you should see a therapist, because you seem to be experiencing an exaggerated amount of guilt that I don’t think is normal.[/quote]

X2

V

You made a mistake, learn from it, grow from it, and move on.

[quote]That One Guy wrote:
I think you should see a therapist, because you seem to be experiencing an exaggerated amount of guilt that I don’t think is normal.[/quote]

This. You can’t change the past anyways. And you could have done a lot worse. I thought this was going to end up about raping her, so there not so bad now huh.

contact the guy so he can kick your ass?? I mean really, what are ya gonna do… gotta move on with life and realize you’re a different person than you were then

You can’t be serious.

Last time I checked it takes 2 to have sex…well… you need to move on buddy.

[quote]needadvice wrote:

If you can offer any advice on dealing with guilt I would more than appreciate it. Its effecting my entire life.

I feel like this is something that “isnt who i am” but i cant get away from the guilt. I used to take pride in being a generally decent person, but this memory shakes my foundations. It challenges the way i percieve things, it makes me feel unacceptable, immmoral, prick, fuckin stupid. I dont want to feel like that dickhead who slept with a man’s woman.

[/quote]

Look it was your fault and hers. If each one of us went dwelling on our pasts (as I’m sure each one of us has at least 1 or 2 things they really regret) constantly. We would all be a mess to.

Take it as another learning experience to becoming a better man. You feel real guilty and that’s part of being a compassionate person (double edged sword some times). Your girlfriend is lucky to have you.

Move on. Keep your woman happy and do the things you love. Later you’ll look back at this thread in a different way.

Was the girl your aunt?

Fuck it, I’ll go, too.

Back in high school my girlfriend and I were celebrating our 2 year anniversary. I told my mom about it and she offered to pay for dinner for the 2 of us as a gift. My girlfriend and I agreed and my mom gave us $50 to spend at the Olive Garden. We took the $50 and spent it on McDonald’s and beer.

Whew. Now I feel better.

[quote]LankyMofo wrote:
Fuck it, I’ll go, too.

Back in high school my girlfriend and I were celebrating our 2 year anniversary. I told my mom about it and she offered to pay for dinner for the 2 of us as a gift. My girlfriend and I agreed and my mom gave us $50 to spend at the Olive Garden. We took the $50 and spent it on McDonald’s and beer.

Whew. Now I feel better.[/quote]

Woah…50 bucks for McDonald’s??? Your girlfriend must be an elephant

Offer your current ol lady to her now husband as an exchange, it’s the only way out man. If he accepts, while he is doing your ol lady, you can hit up the past fling wifey, do her and let his dog watch you so you can establish total dominance and therefore wash away all the guilt.

In the words of Lloyd Christmas - “Pussy, pusssyy, pussssyyyy.”

Well, if she didn’t go home with you that night, she was going to go home with someone else. She also probably would have learned from her mistake with you and not mentioned the guy and 2 kids to her next target.

If she fell for you while you were working together closely on a project or something - different story. But make no mistake in your case, she was going to cheat no matter what.

I agree with seeing a therapist, especially if you don’t feel any better after this thread. Have you been feeling guilty for 3 years straight? If so, run to a therapist. If it just came on, then there’s probably something else in your life that you need to address, which a therapist could help you with.

[quote]needadvice wrote:
I tell her no way, I can’t do this and then she tells me " But i Don’t love him" For some reason I interpreted this as “its ok, shes not really in a relationship if she doesnt love him, go for it.”[/quote]

You refused at first but her lust for your smudge stick was so great that she convinced you in the end?

Shit… You’ve got better morals than me in that department man.

HolyMac?

[quote]BlackLabel wrote:
HolyMac?[/quote]

I was thinking the same…who could be this person?

Since you already went with HM… I’ll take a guess, could it be Oleena?

Who’s next?

[quote]That One Guy wrote:
I think you should see a therapist, because you seem to be experiencing an exaggerated amount of guilt that I don’t think is normal.[/quote]

Therapists don’t do anything except tell you not to kill yourself, followed by a whopping dosage of anti-depressants that MESS YOU UP, and then guess what, you still feel like shit, but you’re numb. Numb all over.

@OP I feel for you man, we’ve all done stuff in our lives that we regret deeply, myself included. Half of these guys on here have no moral compass, so they have no credability. It is normal to feel guilty about something like that, just know that God forgives us for everything we do wrong, and you have already done the right thing through this confession to us. PM me if you ever want to talk.

  • Sar

Do you think that chick that Tiger slept with has this kind of guilt?