T Nation

Help Please, All Gone Wrong

Hi all, I last posted about being able to afford my diet. I stopped training because I couldn’t fund my diet. The cost of living, just doesn’t leave room for a good diet. Whats more, I bought an MPV, because of my increased family. The arrival of my fourth child meant going really skint to buy a bigger car.

It gives 20mpg and with rising fuel prices, food, electricity and gas the past 6 weeks has been hard on us. I am an ex smoker or should I say, I was. We’ve been so stressed trying to cope, and on top of that, being stuck with a vehicle that’s costly to own, the wife and I have been arguing constantly. When I started last year, I quit smoking, the loss of a baby had really stressed me out, let alone my wife, I smoked cannabis the minute I woke up to the moment I went to bed.

My weight was 9 and a half stone. So I quit, put on weight and started lifting. I managed a year and a half, and put down my weights back in August, bought some ciggys and some weed and chilled out. I ran out of weed on Saturday and today I bought some Tobacco. In my guilt, I’ve Logged in to T-Nation.

Can I say this? I’m nearly 40, I don’t think I’d ever be Mr Universe or enter any competition, I just enjoyed lifting, and when I quit smoking, that’s what I did. How can I lift without being able to eat properly? I can I stop being angry or peed off, when the bills pile up? I know the credit crunch is effecting many people,I don’t drink beer, and don’t have any other pleasures, including making love to the wife.

Her cesarean wound has taken 4 months to heal and it still weeps. Its not the be all and end all, its been over a year since we last made love, and another thing, sleepness nights with babe, hasn’t provide the sleep we both need, so poor diet hasn’t helped there either. Plus our families don’t help out, we’re pretty much alone and do everything. By time the kids are in bed, we’re too tired for each other.

So, how can I train without a good diet, stay un-stressed without a smoke and repair without proper sleep?

Sorry its lengthy, I just want to get back to how I was before I stopped training.

Thanks Mike

Training can be cheap. Look on youtube under bodyweight workouts or sandbag training etc. A good diet doesn’t require all those suppliments and protein powder. Meat(chicken,beef,fish) or eggs and vegies are all you need. I’m not against pot smoking but it can make you lazy as hell. Put the money you’re paying for smokes (cig and pot) towards something else. Even if you’re both exhausted,you have to give the wife some lovin’.

There are far more benifits from exercising on a poor diet. Than there are problems. The results may not be as guick but there will be results

[quote]streamline wrote:
There are far more benifits from exercising on a poor diet. Than there are problems. The results may not be as guick but there will be results[/quote]

x2 - It isn’t perfect but it is all that I got.

The journey is the destination.

Just to relieve the tension and anxiety alone is enough to make me never want to leave. You said you are not going to be Mr Universe so your head is in the right place.

Take 30 minutes for yourself everyday and you will be a happier, healthier and less stressed dude.

[quote]RWElder0 wrote:
streamline wrote:
There are far more benifits from exercising on a poor diet. Than there are problems. The results may not be as guick but there will be results

x2 - It isn’t perfect but it is all that I got.

The journey is the destination.

Just to relieve the tension and anxiety alone is enough to make me never want to leave. You said you are not going to be Mr Universe so your head is in the right place.

Take 30 minutes for yourself everyday and you will be a happier, healthier and less stressed dude.[/quote]

X2 Better said!

he loss of a baby had really stressed me out

Having buried children, let me give you some advice:

First, for stress reduction, nothing beats walking for half an hour to an hour. Everything else is just going to put it off. Myself, I tried to eat myself to death, I just couldn’t do it and finally gave up.

Second, for diet, if you focus on eggs and homemade bread, beans (both green beans and the other kinds, including grinding some of them into flour) and oatmeal (back to eating it straight and ground into bread)and buy yogurt instead of cigarettes and weed, you can get more than enough protein on your current diet.

Your wife needs to get back into the doctor. A cesarean that is still weeping is bad news about this time … with socialized medicine it is time for her to go back in.

Make yourself a checklist. Twice a day, do something nice for your wife, even if it is just to rub her feet or do the dishes for her.

Twice a day do something for each of your surviving children.

You can read some advice my wife just gave someone at http://ethesis.blogspot.com/

Get some really cheap foam ear plugs.

Pick one thing a day to improve.

And start lifting. It made all the difference for me.

I know, I’ve dumped a lot on you. You haven’t said when your child died or long it has been or how old it was at the time of death. But, you can survive it, you can pull through and pull out of it.

Hi all, sorry late reply. Should have stated, we lost a boy back in 2003. My wife went full term, then her Placenta abrupted, an emergency C-Section was performed, but we lost him. Whilst we grieved, debt piled up. We didn’t keep up with payments and everything was thrown into chaos. We’ve had 2 more children since then. Yeah we can’t afford it, but we were told we could only have 2 more. We had a boy, then a girl. Lost our boy, had another boy and finally a girl. We were OK, and then I go the prices of everything, as you well know.

I bought a tub of powder yesterday, and got a free shaker, so that ain’t too bad.Still haven’t smoked, but I drank 2 glasses of wine last night and today I feel better.

Will lift again.

Thanks for letting me moan.

Cheerful, Mike:)

Five years is about par for the course for being able to finally start to recover.

Just one day at a time, sometimes just one lift at a time, but it gets you into the future.

Cheers Elaikases, just did a mini session, and got a good pump. I think what I lifted, lifted me:) Will lift more tomorrow.
Thanks again, Mike:)