T Nation

Help My Girlfriend

Off Topic
#1

Hello! I’m wondering if I can get some advise from the ladies out there on how to get my girlfriend into working out and dieting. She is 5’3" about 135 140 not really fat but could lose and tone up her body.

I’m not writing this because its what I want, its because she wants to lose the weight and i’m trying to support her.

I try to give her advise on what to eat and how to workout but she always goes about one or two weeks and then she is back to being lazy again and stops eating right and stops working out. How can I help her to get where she wants to be???

#2

Buy her some sessions with a personal trainer. I don’t think it’s really a good idea to train somebody you care about until they’ve really developed a passion for it. Pay for a few sessions with a “professional” and if she keeps it up for a couple of months, then maybe she can start training with you after she develops an enjoyment for it.

#3

[quote]raiderUM wrote:
she always goes about one or two weeks and then she is back to being lazy again and stops eating right and stops working out. How can I help her to get where she wants to be??? [/quote]

She doesn’t want to be fit. She wants to want to be fit. There is a big difference.

#4

When I first met her she was 125 pounds with a six pack!!! looked great! Now she has put on about 10 pounds of fat. She jsut graduated PA school so she has no money till October when she can get a job.

So her excuse all the time is I have no money to eat right and have no money to join a gym. I bought that the first 100 times and now I am just tired of hearing about it, so I thought I’d try and find other advise to help her want to workout consistantly…thats why I posted on here

#5

[quote]raiderUM wrote:
When I first met her she was 125 pounds with a six pack!!! looked great! Now she has put on about 10 pounds of fat. She jsut graduated PA school so she has no money till October when she can get a job.

So her excuse all the time is I have no money to eat right and have no money to join a gym. I bought that the first 100 times and now I am just tired of hearing about it, so I thought I’d try and find other advise to help her want to workout consistantly…thats why I posted on here[/quote]

I get that. But you can’t help someone who doesn’t want to help herself. People make excuses when they don’t want to do something. It’s obvious your girlfriend doesn’t want to work out.

People who want to succeed at something find a way. People who do not want to succeed at something make excuses.

People complain and bitch about things they will never change. When she says, “I feel so fat,” stop offering solutions and just listen. She doesn’t want her fat problem solved.

I personally would never remain with someone so unmotivated, as I would foresee problems down the road. She does not sound driven or ambitious at all.

This is all good for now, but wait until you get serious. Then she’ll want you working 60+ hours a week (and then complains about that!) to support her fat ass lifestyle. Then wait until she has a kid. You’ll basically live the life of a slave. This is what happens to most “men.”

You won’t listen, as people refuse to see these things. But it’s my moral obligation to tell you these things.

#6

Let your girlfriend be fat and happy or get your self a new one.

#7

Dave Tate wrote recently in his training log about his wife losing weight.

He said she basically stopped eating all the junk food, because there wasn’t any in the house due to Dave’s diet.

And she started going for walks. If I remember correctly Dave said she lost like 10 pounds or something by just doing 2 basic things.

Cleaning up her diet.
And going for walks.

If your girlfriend can’t do those two things, then how do you expect her to support you in your life’s ambitions and goals.

You can only motivate a person so much, in the end, it comes down to them wanting to change or not.

If thats the case, get rid of her. She’ll just become more baggage for you to carry around in the long run.

#8

I only see her on the weekend because she is finishing her clinical rotations. She doesnt workout during the week. She only works out with me sometimes, but when she does workout with me she runs for the hole time I lift, which is over an hour. I just wish I could get her to start eating right. She never really eats lot, but always eating snacks…! bad! I’ve told her many times to eat very small healthy meals to keep her metabolism high. She just needs…I DONT KNOW???

#9

[quote]raiderUM wrote:
I only see her on the weekend because she is finishing her clinical rotations. She doesnt workout during the week. She only works out with me sometimes, but when she does workout with me she runs for the hole time I lift, which is over an hour. I just wish I could get her to start eating right. She never really eats lot, but always eating snacks…! bad! I’ve told her many times to eat very small healthy meals to keep her metabolism high. She just needs…I DONT KNOW???[/quote]

What she needs is a kick in the pants.
In all honesty if you’ve tried everything you say you have then stop worrying about it.

If she’s already made up her mind to be a shud and not care about her body then good for her.

If you think the relationship is possible then stay with her otherwise just let her go.

#10

[quote]raiderUM wrote:
I only see her on the weekend because she is finishing her clinical rotations. She doesnt workout during the week. She only works out with me sometimes, but when she does workout with me she runs for the hole time I lift, which is over an hour. I just wish I could get her to start eating right. She never really eats lot, but always eating snacks…! bad! I’ve told her many times to eat very small healthy meals to keep her metabolism high. She just needs…I DONT KNOW???[/quote]

How did she not have the money to eat decently but had the money to buy the excess calories to gain weight?

Anyone? Bueller?

#11

[quote]buffalokilla wrote:
raiderUM wrote:
I only see her on the weekend because she is finishing her clinical rotations. She doesnt workout during the week. She only works out with me sometimes, but when she does workout with me she runs for the hole time I lift, which is over an hour. I just wish I could get her to start eating right. She never really eats lot, but always eating snacks…! bad! I’ve told her many times to eat very small healthy meals to keep her metabolism high. She just needs…I DONT KNOW???

How did she not have the money to eat decently but had the money to buy the excess calories to gain weight?

Anyone? Bueller?[/quote]

Junk food is cheaper (per calorie, anyway) than healthy food (in general).

#12

It sounds like your in the age old girlfriend has found her man, and does’nt have the same “need” to be as attractive. It’s something most women do almost subconsciously, and for men it’s frustrating. We like to see the pudding as it was when we first chased it. (note to women, that’s one of the KEYS to want men really need and want) The divorce rate would drop significantly if women kept the ass they had when the relationship started and kept up with hittin the skins.

Anyways I just went through this with my girlfriend this past 6-9 month’s. And we broke up just yesterday but not because of weight. She is very beautiful and 5’8 140lbs out of shape. That was’nt the problem. But when I first dated her 1 1/2 years ago she was a slender, sexy, farely toned 135. This is because she ran 3 times per week and worked out 1-2 times. Nowdays she would maybe run once per week and workout once per week, and drink like a fish (that was the problem).

I say all you can do is be encouraging, tell her when she does look good in your eyes, and wait. Hope that she wants (ON HER OWN) to being active again, because if not it’s only going to get worse. It’s just how it goes. I have seen it time and time again. Sucks, but oh well. Forcing it will only cause relationship strain.

#13

I’ve always been told look at her mom and thats a very good idea what she will look in her later years. Well I hate to say it but her mom is more fit at 50 the she is at 21. Her mom is kinda a bad influence, she is always eating when ever she wants and eats ice cream every night before she goes to bed…I dont get it??? anyways my girl thinks she can do the same thing but doesn’t put the effort in at the gym like her mom does

#14

Dump the girl and date her mom.

#15

Some excellent advice has already been given here. I almost wish I had an unmotivated, soon-to-be-chunky-assed woman so I could dump her.

You might also want to check out this thread http://www.T-Nation.com/readTopic.do?id=1615259 . The OP is some sort of mad, genius.

#16

Dude. Honestly it is he choice if she wants to or not. You can’t do any thing to make her want to. Ever try to tell someone to quit smoking. They can watch some one die from cancer, see the pics read the labels, and they still smoke

If you love her love her for what she is and forget the rest. Wait for her to make up her mind or this will be a fight.

Now if it is that important for you to have a girl that is fit,dump her and find one that will workout with you.

#17

[quote]Chickenmcnug wrote:
Dump the girl and date her mom.[/quote]

End of thread.