Regarding the citations, I think you are doing it too often. Yes, you have to cite every time you use info from a source, however - in some areas of your essay you are using the same citation repeatedly, about every other sentence or so. If a section of your essay is from the same source, you only need to cite at the end of that section (right before you move into information from a different source or at the end of a paragraph).
If I am giving him erroneous information, someone please correct me.
Also, google ‘citation machine’, it gives you proper formatting for every style of citation - just plug the right information into the right part of the form and it will format both your citations and bib for you automatically.
As for the other thing, I don’t know, maybe I’m just nit-picking. My personal style of editing is to read through it once it is done and judge how easy or difficult it is to understand and adjust accordingly. It’s (mostly) easy to understand, though it is a bit repetitive in some spots - you repeat the entire line about caloric surplus or deficit several times when you don’t need to. Or was that a way of reaching your required length?