T Nation

Help! I Need dating advice from you T-Dudes

Hey guys, I need some help on something I’m still a novice in. It’s the subject on dating. I took this girl out and we both had a pretty good time. I got a hold of her on the phone and asked her if she wanted to go out again. Unfortunately she told me she was busy. The good thing was she told me where I could see her during school at the place she works. I remember Tim Patterson mentioning somwhere in his BTS column that if there’s a pretty girl you want to ask out, but she’s too busy, you ask her again. So far, I’m taking his advice. I’m gonna make every attempt I can to get her to go out with me. I was wondering what you guys think I should do. What are some approaches (or methods) I can use to get her to go out with me? I know a lot of you guys think that I should forget about her and just move on, but the thing is, I like her already. I’ve already fallen into a trap. Also, she hasn’t given me that “let’s just be friends” line so I have no reason to forget about her. So whad’ya guys think I should do?

http://www.testosterone.net/html/body_93woof.html

Read and learn, buddy.

If she turns you down twice or more without offering her own suggestions for a date, she’s not interested and you should move on. So ask her out again, but keep your eyes open for a clue or two that she’s not intereted but not willing to flat out say so.

i second that read get laid testosterone way…also have her call you, this let’s her know you’re interested without crowding her her space too much, 99% of the time its better to let the girls do the pursuing, they like a challenge, this will make you appear mysterious and interesting, if she dosen’t call you, i’m sorry to say she’s just not interested…just remember its usually better to take it slow in the beginning, let her come to you…hope this helps-bryan

Generally the more you contact a girl, the better chance you have with her. It seems like you’ve only called her once or twice. Not a very good start to a relationship. You should call her at least five times a day. If she doesn’t pick up the phone, don’t leave a message, just hang up and try again in fifteen minutes. Also, you should probably loiter by her place of employment. Girls love that, as they see time that you spend near them as a sign of committment. Finally, gifts are nice. Leave tokens of your affection outside her door. Roses, candies, stuffed animals, pictures of yourself etc. are nice, but only when left several times a day. Don’t leave the poor girl guessing. Make her KNOW that you WANT her.

Don’t ask her “out sometime”. When you ask her out again, have something specific in mind. "hey, lets go see (x) @ y time on __day. you get turned down, act like its her loss, “Oh, thats a shame, well I’ll let you know how it was”. Always be the one to end every conversation, don’t keep talking until she says “well I better let you go …” You do it.
Don’t hang out at her work, don’t shower her with gifts. Girls sense pussy real easy. Its sorry, it sucks, its the truth.

DONNOT LISTEN TO RAPHAEL…all the stuff he just mentioned will NEVER ever get you close to a female, let alone getting laid(or a date). If she already gave you the “lets just be friends” line you are screwed. There is little hope of pulling out of that whole. The problem with your situation is that, like you said yourself, you fell into the trap. Never let a girl trap you, and if you are trapped, dont act like it. Oh god damn theres so many freaking things…I wish I could put an URL down because there is a whole web community devoted to not only getting dates, but getting laid. This “pickupguide” should be easily accessible on the world wilde web by your COMputer…if only I could give that URL.

This is an easy one. The most effective thing I’ve ever done to attract beautiful young women is to get married. All of a sudden, they come out of the woodwork. So, all you need to do is get hitched. Duh! :slight_smile:

Chris, isn’t that the truth?!!!

Or you could do as Shugart says in “Get Laid the Testosterone Way” and pretend to be married. Get yourself a ring, and where it around. Read the article for details. If you’re interested, give her a call for a date. But remember to take it slow, slow, slow! If you’re too persistent, you will push her away. One thing I’ve learned: “He who cares the least, wins the most.” Very wise words to live by.

Don’t bug her too much. Stop by say Hi, bring a puppy or somthing that you can both comment on comfortably and then go.Mention that you’d like to go out again and have her pick the day and time, take clues from her response. if she is evasive- drop it and her (gently. She will either be relieved or intrigued.

Hey thanks guys. Your support really means a lot (Except for Rafael who wants to turn me into a crazy stalker). Jay, I like your decisive approach on setting a date. I can see how chicks dig that. Watts, thanks for those subtle hints you gave me on that URL thing. I definatley have a lot of reading to do this weekend. If you guys have anything more to add, I’m open to all kinds of suggestions.

Funny Chris, in my experience it has always been when I am moving far away all of the hot, hot chicks I never had the balls to ask out tell me how much they are into me. At least I’ve gotten a couple of going away BJ’s. Moral of the story - get some balls and ask her out.

When my husband (before marriage) asked me out the first time, I told him no. I was determined to finish college and not get involved with anyone. He didn’t seem rejected at all, instead he just “changed the tone” of the persuing to a persuing of friendship with no stings attached. It worked, I didn’t feel threatened and I had a chance to get to know him without my “walls” up. My mom later told me she knew he was going to be the first successful guy to win my heart because he was willing to “drop” the romance without acting like a wounded puppy or crazed lunatic. BTW - I married him three months later. . . Oh, and Chris is right - get married, everyone wants what they can’t have. You’d think the ring on my finger is invisible.

Watts - that’s some funny sh!t man…! Like someone else said, after two knockbacks, let her go. Force yourself to let her go, or you’ll just humiliate yourself… as I learnt the hard way. Also, don’t seem too needy for her… just play it cool. Just think to yourself that you’ve got the whole T-crew backin’ you up, whatever happens… for whatever insane reason, this seems to help me, and as long as it works I’m gunna use it. [shrug] Cheers.

Watts, right on dude, those methods are right on. I found that community a while back, and I’ve been getting laid like a mad dog. Although I was getting ass already, that stuff taught me how to get it consistently, and with hotter chicks. No more AFC!

Rafael- that was pretty funny dude!

Hello Reeshdawg. I’ve been in your situation recently, fortunately with great success. I think the number one factor in beginning a relationship is how you handle the very first moments. Worst thing you can do is wear a mask and try to over-rationalize or try to use complicated strategies. Women will sense that you are phony and they will reject you without really knowing why. They will say “there was no spark” as a rationalisation. Women are always suspicious at the beginning because there are alot of jerks out there. So don’t push it too much. Invite her, ask her where she would like to go, fix a date, but if she refuses, don’t whine. Just ask her what she has in mind for an alternative. You will see right away if she’s interrested or not. The first couple of dates are crucial. Very important to be yourself, and don’t be afraid to tell your girl how you feel about her, how you find her attractive, or how she is interresting, etc… Just put the mask down, but she probably won’t. You have to see through that shell and decode the real messages she will send you. Lots of dudes lost interest because they were unable to understand that the girl was interested too. Usually, women don’t reject in a subtle way, so you will understand when you’re dead. So first couple of dates, just try to have fun, don’t put any pressure on yourself or your prospect. If you feel she has a shield, tell her how you feel about it. The more you talk about those issues, the more she will put her guard down rapidly. She will know you are serious about a relationship with her, and she will be the one chasing you. People who just want to get laid usually have low success rate with women because they will sense it, unless you are a great actor. So remember: no masks, no pressure, dialog, have fun.

reesh.Sorry, but you seem kind of pathetic.
you give women far too much admiration and submit to them in a very unmanly way. women are very simple beings. their thoughts are mostly about high-heel shoes, pink underwear and ridiculous t.v series. nothing admirable about that! plus that there are millions of those dumb little things called women! they aren t threatened by extinction, so don t worry. as you get older you ll wanna wear ear-plugs on your dates. It s unbearable to listen to a woman talk.Why? well, becouse they speak…without actually saying anything. I admit it is necessary for a man to listen patiently to all those stories if he intends to see her ass…bare!

christian - Kinda hard on us aren’t you? Not every woman is like you’ve said. (BTW my IQ is 152)

I know it isnt getting laid the testosterone way…but before I was married it used to work wonders. You had your first date…you know where she works. Send her some flowers–carnations are cheap…at work (girls love the attention they get from flowers at work…DONT send them to her house! it ruins the effect). On the card simply put “call me xxx-xxxx-(your first name)” Then wait for the phone to ring. If it doesn’t…stop making an ass out of yourself. I agree with a previous post about one thing. WHEN she calls (and unless she has absolutely no interest in you…she will) have a definete date suggestion…perhaps a movie or a place for dinner…don’t just say “duhhh…you wanna go out again?” Be a T-man and say "Do you want to get together to go to “X” whatever X may be. Don’t ask where she wants to go…don’t be a wuss…if she doesn’t like your suggestion, she will probably make one…now get going and let us know how it goes!