T Nation

Heartbreak stories?

HAHA…yeah, thanks Justin…me and Scrub have talked about our ex’s ALOT in the past few months. Entertainment for all of you, right??..;o)

Universal,
First off, I have to say that I feel your pain and that it is no easy task to cut all ties with an ex, and you did!!..so good for you! Like you, I got to the point where I just made a decision to stop seeing my ex, cause every time I saw her…I would feel WORSE than before. My situation is unique cause well… my ex still lives in the same town as me so there are times where we bump into one another. She works at my bank for crying out loud!! Whats worse is that she now lives with her new boyfriend less than half a mile away from my house…so that sucks major donkey balls. Irregardless, I just made it a point to try to avoid her as much as possible. I don’t go to the bank when I know she is there. I don’t go and workout when I know she is there. Granted, like I said…we still bump into one another from time to time, but that is the downfall of living in such a small town.

We broke up in January and I still think about her quite a bit. It wasn’t a “bad” breakup by any means. We just got in a rut and decided that we needed to go our seperate ways. I miss her more than anything and there are times where I think to myself that one day we will get back together, cause like I said…it WASN’T a bad breakup…we still care for one another tremendously. But she moved on and got another boyfriend (which is a whole nother story…don’t get me started about the fuckstick she is with now), so I don’t see it happening anytime soon. People heal differently. She got a new boyfriend rather quickly. As for me…well, I don’t have a new girlfriend unfortunately. I havn’t even been on a date. Obviously, having someone around to hang out with would work wonders, but us “shy” types have a hard time finding dates…haha. Like I said…people heal differently. And I am just not going to jump into any relationship for the sole purpose of being with someone. So while everyone is saying, “just find another girlfriend”…its easier said than done for some people, know what I mean? I am a firm believer, that you should WANT to be in a relationship, not NEED to be in one. So don’t rush things. If you’re ready to move on and start dating, more power to you…that is great. But if you’re not (its been 10 months for me and I am still not ready, but I’m getting close…haha), than you can do many other things to keep you occupied. Here are some thing that I did:

hit the weights HARD!! And I mean with a vengence!!! Going to the gym has always been a saving grace for me. Its a place that for atleast 1 hour, I don’t have to think about her and I can just let my mind go. Not to mention all I have to do is think about her new boyfriend to help me get a really heavy deadlift up…;o)

READ. I have to tell ya, reading has helped me soooooooo much. I made a conscious decision to put a dent into the Modern Library’s Top 100 English Novels of the Century and I am having so much fun doing it. Since April or so, I have read like 20-25 novels. Not too shabby huh? I go to the local Borders just about every weekend and I read for a few hours and maybe catch a movie to boot. VERY relaxing. Plus, now that the students from IC and Cornell are back…more ladies at the bookstore…;o)

Anyways, those are just some suggestions. Its definetely not fun trying to get over an ex. But I am doing ALOT better now than I was a few months ago. And from the sounds of it, you seem to be doing better now that you told her that you don’t want to see her anymore. Good for you. Well, I don’t know if I was of any help. I tend to ramble on and on when it comes to talking about my ex. So…sorry everyone for the boring post. Good luck my man. Where is Scrub anyways??? I thought for sure he would offer some advice!! Tony G

Hey who said “find another girlfriend”?
Im talking about go and find GIRLS i have no interest in find another G/F at the moment…i am having wayyy too much fun with multiple girls…

Universal–

Its cool man it really is and this type of thing happens to everybody and it doesnt matter how charismatic or cool or rich or whatever some women are just flighty. I dated a girl over the summer and she just gave me the dump off and i thought it was the worst time of my life but i realized that she wasnt good for me man. But you need to realize that she isnt what you need b/c she keeps messing around w/ your head. There are lil hotties everywhere that want a buff T-man which im sure you are if you use this website. Anybody else enjoying the single life? I dont have to have B#$hy women yelling at me anymore hahah.

Well I just stay single after reading these stories.

No offense but I didn’t even bother reading anything but the title of this thread. Ex girls are what they are for a reason. Don’t go down the wrong way of a oneway road twice, even if the trim is extra nice.

Yeah, read my post that I posted a while ago too.

Ignore her, see other girls, and forget her.

I hate to hijack the thread but I gotta give you guys an update on my crazy bitch: I’ve been ignoring the hell outta her lately. It feels soooooooo good. I’ll be walking across campus, walk past her and just completely look the other way. Granted, I’m still cordial with her whenever she talks to me but other than that I never initate a conversation with her. Apparently, shes been talking to some of my friends lately saying “Chris never talks to me anymore. I don’t know what happened.” HAHAHAHA!!! Eventually she’ll turn around and come running back. (end hijack)

Hey guys, thank you all for taking the time to write your response. Somehow it feels better knowing that there are others who have survived.

The sad thing is that in the ten months “apart”, I have dated other women/slept around a bit. The experiences have largely been a disapointment and I haven’t developed anything close to the emotions I had for my ex. I

It’s like the last ten months are blurred by sadness, loneliness and pain. I made some great progress during that time but they were all destroyed when I let her back into my life. I feel like I’m right back at square 1, you know? ARGH…the time right after I wake up is the worse, I can’t seem to find a reason to get my butt out of bed.

Everybody keeps telling me time heals all wounds but since she left I swear time has stood still.

Yeah, I really shouldn’t give advice on this subject considering my recent ordeals. I took the advice of pretty much everyone I talked to, which was to just bang other girls. I did, and all it did was make me miss my ex, and we ended up getting back together. Maybe the problem was that I just got unlucky with the girls I was with, because they just didn’t do it for me. I never understood how two people could stay together when they fight so much, but the sex factor is huge. Being attached at the genitals makes it hard to move on. I know, pathetic, wrong reasons, blah blah. I have no problem with being nothing more than a piece of meat for now. But like someone said, you broke up for a reason, and those reasons are bound to surface again. I’m talking to other girls and keeping my options open, and it’s only a matter of time before something better comes along, ie good sex, mutual respect, trust, similar interests, etc. Flame away.

I like how easy you guys make ‘banging other girls’ sound. I have less and less sympathy…

Scrub, you are officially back with your psycho-slut-hosebeast-ex-girlfriend? Whoa, what the! Who the! Why I oughta! HAR-HAR! Have you spoken to her dad lately? I loved how you told him that his little princess begs you to stick it in her ass! Bwahahahaaha! I laughed about that one for weeks. Wait, that was you right? I get all the ex-gf sob stories mixed up, I’ve heard so many of them. I am ex-military, I could tell you some royally fucked up stories about devil-women with no souls demolishing the lives of guys that are out risking thier ass everyday to protect the american dream… I thought it was kinda funny how the army is requiring mandatory counseling for troops returning from combat, not because they were showing signs of shell shock but because they had three guys shoot thier wives apon thier return from Iraq recently. I guarantee you it isn’t shell shock that made these guys wig out, a soldiers wife is the main thing on his mind 99% of the time that he isn’t in combat when he is deployed. It was infidelity plain and simple… The post combat counseling is nice, but how is that supposed to help with unfaithfull wives that are partying it up on your paycheck while you are eating dirt in the middle of a God awefull desert getting shot at? Ooops, talk about a post hyjack…

I can’t believe scrub is back with his anal-loving bitch. haha. That’s fucked up.

FORRESTER: Sad to say, but with hoes that jump the paycheck in some other guys life, Id consider shooting the bitch appropriate behavior. Like some babe that goes with a guy in the military does not expect that he won`t be there day-in day-out. Such outright ho stupidity needs to be shot, indeed. Maybe, then, it would force some of them to think before shacking up with a guy because of his brass…

Nephorm,
Nicely said.

Scrub,
you are a shallow bastard…haha. [just kidding]

Scrub,

Next time you post, I recommend you wear your testicles, or at least have a goo fix on where they might be.

Just kidding dude, you’re a grown man and able to make your own decisions, good to see that things have improved with her. It seemed she was well on the highway to psychoville a few months ago.

Hey mine wasn’t a sob story…more like a bad soap opera. No, I haven’t spoken to her dad, nor do I plan on doing so. She thinks I’m going to apologize to her family, but she’s delusional. We still talk and hook up, but we’re kind of in a standstill. I won’t even consider taking her seriously unless she follows through on her plans to move away from her parents to the same city as me.

It’s weird how things happen, but I was still in love with the one that got away for a good part of the time I was with my ex. As soon as I got over her, my ex and I broke up and the love of my life started calling me again. I guess I’m just waiting to see how that goes. If things start to develop, I will kick my ex to the curb for good. I guess I just need to know if I’m on the friends ladder or not. If so, I’ll give her the boot too.

Scrub, LOL! Yah, how can you really apologize for the shit she did anyway. “Um, I’m sorry your little princess likes it up the ass, sir…” LMAO! Anyway, from your other posts it sounds like you’ve got your head on straight and using that ho for the only thing she’s good for. Good luck with all your endeavors and train hard!

Dan C, my stance on the whole “shoot the scandalous whore of a wife” idea, is pretty much the same as Chris Rocks stance with OJ Simpson. "I ain’t saying it’s right… But I UNDERSTAND…

Forrester: I can’t stop thinking about what you said about women being unfaithful to their men while they’re away fighting for their country. That’s cold. It’s hard to have faith that there are strong women out there when you hear shit like that. To be fair, there are just as many, if not more spineless men that do the same thing.

Some of my friends think being a shallow selfish pig is what it means to be a man, ie cheating on your girl. That’s weak. If you’re a man, you should appreciate what you have, otherwise you don’t deserve it. The way I see it, you have two options: a) you can let your bad experiences with women without souls bring you down to their level, ie taking it out on every other girl you come across because some worthless chick broke your heart and you’d rather feel sorry for yourself like a little bitch, or b) you can chalk it up as a learning experience and stay true to your own values. You’ll be a better man because of it. I have a feeling there are plenty of people on this forum who know what I’m talking about.

Universl: time does heal. Time apart that is.

Scrub, you are pretty much dead-on with your last post. You definitely can’t let your past experiences cloud your judgement in the now, it’ll limit your ability to open yourself up to good things in life that do eventually come along. The women that take advantage of the troops (or any men) are heartless, but you are right about alot of men being the same way (worthless fucks). The wierd thing that I noticed was that it seemed like the guys that were faithfull always ended up with unfaithful women, and the women that were faithful always ended up with unfaithful men. Ok, not always but I have seen an awefull lot of relationships like that (your relationship with your ex for example). It’s wierd, and I don’t know if there is anything to it. It’s just an observation, but it seemed kind of ironic to me. I am creeping up on thirty and I have yet to meet a woman that I feel like I can really trust, and my experiences in the military don’t help any in that department. There is some serious infedelity going on there on both sides, and some women are making off like bandits tricking those young troops. I just don’t understand people that get married and promise in front of God and everyone else that they are now going to be exclusive and then just shrug it off. The way I was brought up, your word and your integrity were the foundation for your existence, without that you weren’t worth the air you breath. I guess I’m just old fashioned, time to get with the times eh? LOL, fuck that! I couldn’t live with myself. Oh well, I love women and life is all about taking risks, right? Just be intelligent about the risks you take I guess. The bullshit only makes fresh air smell that much sweeter…

Scrub,
I’m impressed…you DO have a soft side!! Awwwww, how cute…haha. Seriously though, great thoughts in your last post. I remember back in college playing ball, I had soooo many teammates who would cheat on their girlfriends and it would boggle my mind. They would fool around with this girl and that girl and then their girlfriends would come visit and they would act as if everything was “hunky dorey” which would irratate me. Granted I was just jealous cause they had what I didn’t (a girlfriend at the time)…but I just can’t see how cheating is cool. People definetely need to learn to appreciate what they have