T Nation

Head Games

Why does seem that so many girls play headgames and are manipualtive with you.It used to bother me but now I ignore it and don’t let the head games upset me at all.I’m only 18 years old and have very lmited experiance with girls and realtionships,so it might just be that I have only had experiances wiht girls who play head games and there is alot that don’t.

All girls, to some degree, have low self esteem. Trying to control their men with stupid games gives them a sense of accomplishment and makes them feel better about themselves. A bit harsh, but it’s reality. As you grow older, you’ll learn to understand how and why men and women think and communicate differently. Once you begin to understand we the sexes think differently, it may not seem so aggravating. Although I may get made fun of a bit for this, an excellent book on all this the old Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. I recommend reading it (hell, so does Ian King!).

Get used to the game playing. It’s the reality of the way most (not all) women have conducted relationships since the beginning of time…

I think that the head games go on equally by both sexes, they are just perhaps a little different and that’s why there is a breakdown in communication. I know a guy who has been crazy about a certain lady for a number of years, but the timing has always been wrong. A short while ago, the timing was finally right (in that she wasn’t in any relationship), so they got together and things went well. Both seemed interested in starting something up. Suddenly, for no reason, he blows her off and is now dating a dumb, bimbo. The lady he blew off, by the way, is very intelligent, athletic, and gorgeous. I can’t believe how stupid this guy friend is. So, was this a prime example of a head game that he played on this lady? I think so. Until people get over playing games in general, both guys and girls play constantly and equally. You guys can’t blame girls, when you dish it out just the same.

In addition to Mars/Venus, I recommend “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Smalley, and “Your Personality Tree” by Florence Litauer.

“Either be played or be the player.”

I have to add to the reccommended book list: “Women, a Species of Talking bird” is an old favorite, as is “Carnation Instant Bitch: Her Favorite Breakfast” “Can’t Live with 'em, Can’t Shoot 'em – oh wait, I guess you can shoot 'em” by Robert Blake, and of course, “Men are from Mars, Women are just a Pain in the Ass”. There is only one song that addresses the subject properly, can’t remember the title, but Sam K wants his records back.
All kidding aside, there is only ONE rule to remember, it is harsh, and I have been called an asshole for stating it, but it is the truth: Whoever cares the least has the power in any relationship. Learn it, love it, live it. Oh, BTW, don’t take anything they do too seriously. You are only 18. Consider what you are learning the next few years to be “Women 101”. It’s the toughest class you’ll ever love. And don’t despair. There are some cool ladies out there. They are just hard to find.

agreed, men and women are equally guilty of game playing. Problem is, game playing seems a permanent reality of how men and women deal with each other…