T Nation

Have You Ever Beta Orbited a Girl

…only to realize your douchebaggery when it was too late?


I assume that beta orbit means that once every 365 days I would shower them with deadly radiation, in which case I only did that once. My goal was to create an artificial sun for profit, but I ended up using the wrong vowel and now it costs me a significant amount monthly.


Make more money
Fix your hygiene
Get fitter
Get more interesting
Get more confident
Get better at listening and holding a conversation

Stop looking and acting desperate. Go be as awesome as you possibly can be. Girls will find you.


I once knew a guy who was a beta orbiter. His antics around this particular girl were pretty annoying to me but he was still closer to her than I was.

This was frustrating, couldn’t she see that I was a better bitter servant than he was? I guess you could say I was beta “beta orbiter” orbiter. Let’s say gamma orbiter for short.

Anyway, I was friendly to this guy all the while trying to usurp him to get to this girl. The gamma life is tough. I got so twisted over it thay I ran to an online community and asked for beta orbiter stories to revel in mocking this friend. It made me feel a lot better about myself but sadly I still cling on to him. You don’t recover from being a gamma orbiter overnight.


Went with the “I” rather than the “A” huh … yea, my boy Randy did the same thing

have you ever posted a thread on the internet, only to realize you accidentally posted on T Nation when you meant to post on a lame PUA site from 2007?

Don’t worry, happens to me all the time.


Ever met a Theta orbiter? Or how about an Upsilon orbiter? Those guys are the WORST! And don’t get me started on the Kappa orbiters!!

EDIT: I bet most of the people who know me from this site would never guess that 15 years ago I was a fraternity member at a very southern, expensive, douchey private University. The greek letters are bringing back memories.


this guy’s been a member here since 06, has 4 topics all in the Off Topic forum and all totally weird.


I’ve never been attracted to a girl big enough for my 200lb+ self to orbit around.


Do I have this right? A beta orbiter is a dude who hangs out with chicks knowing he can’t get any action from them but sort of does it anyway in the hope he might get a sympathy lay or something?


who says this isn’t my wierd post alias

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Besides gender, which obviously no longer exists…

What is the difference between a beta orbiter and a jock sniffer?

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Ha! I am so old I had to Google it!


You are exactly weird enough to have one of those, so I don’t think anybody would be surprised

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Have you ever been beta orbited?

No, can’t say I have.

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Am I dumb if I don’t get this?

Change the u in sun to an o.

I was looking at beta orbit and wondering which vowel you meant :laughing:

I’m assuming a beta orbiter is someone who hangs around “as a friend” hoping the person they are orbiting will eventually come around. Sort of like Leonard orbiting Penny in “Big Bang Theory,” except in real life I don’t think it works very often.

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