Eh, my mom was the same way for a while. She still thinks she knows everything about health and fitness even though she is neither healthy or fit. She sometimes tells me how all these Mr Olympia winners got as big as they are. Its more funny to me than it is annoying. She would always say that I must be so unhealthy and my cholesterol must be through the roof, so I went for a check up to prove her wrong and the results showed me to be the doctors healthiest patient.
Since then she has taken it down a bit and is mostly supportive. I find it strange that she felt that way though since my grandfather was a bodybuilder in his day.
[quote]tokyopop wrote:
Eh, my mom was the same way for a while. She still thinks she knows everything about health and fitness even though she is neither healthy or fit. She sometimes tells me how all these Mr Olympia winners got as big as they are. Its more funny to me than it is annoying. She would always say that I must be so unhealthy and my cholesterol must be through the roof, so I went for a check up to prove her wrong and the results showed me to be the doctors healthiest patient.
Since then she has taken it down a bit and is mostly supportive. [/quote]
This sounds really familiar. The problem isn’t that she has absolutely no idea about nutrition, its that shes spent a considerable amount of time getting nutrition information geared towards 50 year old women looking to lose weight. The idea that I actually want to GAIN weight is just unfathomable to that demographic. So when I’m getting lectured I hear things like your intentionally over feeding yourself, which can’t be healthy. While its technically true since I’m eating above maintenance, its not overeating if I’m eating for my goals. The mere fact that I want to gain even muscle though is not healthy in her books since “I already weigh too much for my frame, which means I’m putting stress on my organs” - this is usually when I start laughing. But I’m just going to bite the bullet and go to the doctor to get a check up and then hopefully walk back with a smug look on my face when he tells me that weighing over 200 pounds isn’t going to cause instant heart disease.
Where I have a harder time justifying myself is when I get yelled at for spending too much time working out and focusing on how I eat, making this a narcissistic goal. The best line I can come up with is: by that logic is an obese person a better all round person than an athlete? It is true its self interest and I don’t think I should have to apologize for that though. Anyone have a take on that part of it?
Crazy, just shows what it’s coming to these days that working out and trying to get in better shape is treated like it’s wrong. My mom isn’t like yours, but she doesn’t understand what I do either. They just can’t grasp the concept of trying to increase your weight.
Tell your mom there are far worse things you could be addicted to than dumbells.
I remember in HS a kid in my weightlifting class NEVER lifted anything that required effort. On Max out days he would just do sets of 6 using 95lbs on bench. His reasoning was, his mom told him he could get hurt lifting heavy weights and she would only allow him to weight train if he promised not to lift heavy weights. That kid was one of the most pathetic peices of work I had ever seen.
Even our weight lifting coach made fun of him, which even I thought was fkd up at the time, but moral of the story is you can do what mommy wants and go nowhere with your goals or you can be your own person and show Mom that her way is not the only way of doing things. I’m going to go out on a limb and say your parents have a decent amount of money (paying for college, food, housing for you, and a psychiatrist).
I’m also guessing that your parents have been successful and want you to be successful by doing what they did to get there. There is nothing wrong with that but at some point you have to show them that you are appreciative of what they are doing for you, you will succeed, but you will do it your way.
I would just see the psychiatrist, make sure you are rationalwhen speaking to him or your mother, and try not to make eating such a big deal. If you are constantly shoveling food into your mouth in front of them thats not going to help your case. Make your meals in the kitchen but eat in your room, or grab a water bottle and take it to your room where you have your shaker cup and protein and drink it there.
[quote]Yonatan wrote:
Tell your mom there are far worse things you could be addicted to than dumbells.[/quote]
This ^
I got that shit for some time too.
I was fat and she was “worried about my health” etc., I lost all the weight and then I was “too thin”, then after 8 months building back up again, I started getting comments like “you’re getting a bit round in the face aren’t you?”
I just spoke my mind and explained my goals and how I plan to get “stronger and fitter” which also happens have the common side effect of “bigger” also.
Also explaining about how the rda/dv of foods are so out of touch with reality, and how the food pyramid is a joke.
That all helped.
Now I just live,eat and train with no snidey comments or uneducated remarks.
[quote]Steel Nation wrote:
How are they going to “cut you off?”
What does your dad say? Mine was always good for shutting my mom’s ass up when she got stupid like this.[/quote]
This is what I was thinking. My mother used to make comments when I’d come home for summer that she liked it better when I was skinny. My father would basically tell her to relax and that there is nothing wrong with being muscular. Hell, I wasn’t even as big as he was, yet she married him.
Like someone else said, 6’0" and 180 and they think you are a freak?
The problem is that a lot of parents never have conversations with their kids as if they can think on their own. So, no one in the family knows how to have a constructive dialog and the parent-kid discussions just end up with one or both sides frustrated and yelling and neither side listening. This is pretty much the only way you can solve your problem. Moving out is not solving your parental problem, only avoiding it until a later date.
DB
[quote]The Answer wrote:
[quote]tokyopop wrote:
Eh, my mom was the same way for a while. She still thinks she knows everything about health and fitness even though she is neither healthy or fit. She sometimes tells me how all these Mr Olympia winners got as big as they are. Its more funny to me than it is annoying. She would always say that I must be so unhealthy and my cholesterol must be through the roof, so I went for a check up to prove her wrong and the results showed me to be the doctors healthiest patient.
Since then she has taken it down a bit and is mostly supportive. [/quote]
This sounds really familiar. The problem isn’t that she has absolutely no idea about nutrition, its that shes spent a considerable amount of time getting nutrition information geared towards 50 year old women looking to lose weight. The idea that I actually want to GAIN weight is just unfathomable to that demographic. So when I’m getting lectured I hear things like your intentionally over feeding yourself, which can’t be healthy. While its technically true since I’m eating above maintenance, its not overeating if I’m eating for my goals. The mere fact that I want to gain even muscle though is not healthy in her books since “I already weigh too much for my frame, which means I’m putting stress on my organs” - this is usually when I start laughing. But I’m just going to bite the bullet and go to the doctor to get a check up and then hopefully walk back with a smug look on my face when he tells me that weighing over 200 pounds isn’t going to cause instant heart disease.
Where I have a harder time justifying myself is when I get yelled at for spending too much time working out and focusing on how I eat, making this a narcissistic goal. The best line I can come up with is: by that logic is an obese person a better all round person than an athlete? It is true its self interest and I don’t think I should have to apologize for that though. Anyone have a take on that part of it?
[/quote]
I wouldn’t advise arguing every time you talk to her. Just explain to her that it’s really no more narcissistic than a new hairdo or makeup. You could try telling her that you are increasing your bone density for later in life so you don’t crumble when you’re 80. You have to reason with her, not argue with her.
DB
i thought the standard procedure for moms was just tell them whatever they want to hear and then go on doing whatever you want? there is no way your mom is going to read enough or ever understand what you are doing. tell her that she is right and that you gained the freshman 15 or whatever and because you are afraid of being fat you work out all the time. then just smuggle food/Metabolic Drive into your bedroom and pig out when shes not home or whatever.
tell her that lifting is the only thing keeping you from the crack pipe.
[quote]dshroy wrote:
tell her that lifting is the only thing keeping you from the crack pipe.[/quote]
Also mention that being on the pipe after she cuts you off means you’ll end up giving handys for drug money behind a 7-11 or whatever the Canadian equivalent is. you keep lifting, everybody wins
i agree with those that say just tell her there are many worse things you can be doing, as well as what bonez said. my mom is pretty on board with what im doing after im actually sat down and had an intelligent convo with her, and she then realized that it is healthy and now actually asks me for advice. before when she was questionable about what i was doing id just tell her that if i wasnt in the weight room at any given moment someone could piss me off and i would start cracking skulls, but this keeps me sane.
I think the question I would pose to your mother would be this, “How does MY decision to lift weights affect YOUR life in any way?”
Clearly, it doesn’t. Maybe she’ll realize it when the question is posed in plain English. Maybe not. Either way, do what somebody else earlier said. Just nod your head up an down, say, “Okay, mom.”, and go do what you want to do.
What’s she gonna do, really? Call the cops cos you went to the gym again?
[quote]mapwhap wrote:
I think the question I would pose to your mother would be this, “How does MY decision to lift weights affect YOUR life in any way?”
Clearly, it doesn’t. Maybe she’ll realize it when the question is posed in plain English. Maybe not. Either way, do what somebody else earlier said. Just nod your head up an down, say, “Okay, mom.”, and go do what you want to do.
What’s she gonna do, really? Call the cops cos you went to the gym again?[/quote]
Very, very wrong thing to say to a mother.
DB
[quote]dollarbill44 wrote:
[quote]mapwhap wrote:
I think the question I would pose to your mother would be this, “How does MY decision to lift weights affect YOUR life in any way?”
Clearly, it doesn’t. Maybe she’ll realize it when the question is posed in plain English. Maybe not. Either way, do what somebody else earlier said. Just nod your head up an down, say, “Okay, mom.”, and go do what you want to do.
What’s she gonna do, really? Call the cops cos you went to the gym again?[/quote]
Very, very wrong thing to say to a mother.
DB[/quote]
If you were my son, I’d give you a good beating.
And you’re too skinny at 185 at 6 feet tall. Now eat and shut up and get your scrawny ass to the gym, boy.
[quote]Yo Momma wrote:
[quote]dollarbill44 wrote:
[quote]mapwhap wrote:
I think the question I would pose to your mother would be this, “How does MY decision to lift weights affect YOUR life in any way?”
Clearly, it doesn’t. Maybe she’ll realize it when the question is posed in plain English. Maybe not. Either way, do what somebody else earlier said. Just nod your head up an down, say, “Okay, mom.”, and go do what you want to do.
What’s she gonna do, really? Call the cops cos you went to the gym again?[/quote]
Very, very wrong thing to say to a mother.
DB[/quote]
If you were my son, I’d give you a good beating.
And you’re too skinny at 185 at 6 feet tall. Now eat and shut up and get your scrawny ass to the gym, boy.
[/quote]
I wish I was 6 feet tall, but I will give you my ass to slap.
DB
^^ That’s what I’ve been doing man, I know I’m a skinny bastard at 190 lbs (just weighed myself this morning) and 6’0, which makes the whole conversation that much more hilarious/ridiculous, not that it wouldn’t also be ridiculous if I was 240 and 6’0.
So an update for anyone who’s interested, I talked to her today really calmly after getting literally screamed at last night. I basically told her that this isn’t reckless and I have at least a bit of an idea about what I’m doing and if she has questions I can try and explain what I choose to eat and how I train. I’ve got her to the point where she still thinks I’m killing myself and that I’m going to therapy if there’s ever a ‘2’ in front of my weight, but that she’ll at least wait to hear what my doctor has to say before continuing to lecture me on my eating habits. My doctor probably won’t be thrilled with my 4,500ish calorie a day diet but at least I can an informed discussion with him.
Thanks for the advice everyone, I think I’m going to keep the eating every 2-3 hours on the down low until she comes around a bit.
She’s making you go to a doctor??? This is funny. Like a family doctor has any insight into a healthy bodybuilding lifestyle. This is a humorous thread.
[quote]randman wrote:
She’s making you go to a doctor??? This is funny. Like a family doctor has any insight into a healthy bodybuilding lifestyle. This is a humorous thread.[/quote]
Where have you been hidin’ out lately Honey?
DB
there is a good chance that your doctor is a bro hater that is going to measure this whole thing based on BMI - find a sports medicine doctor or something like that.
Ahh, you know. I like to take the seagull approach to posting on T-Nation. Come in every once in awhile, shit all over a thread and then leave. ;0
Seriously, just leaning out for the summer and I’m getting sick of it; exhausting process…