T Nation

Happy Miscarriage

A buddy of mine’s wife cheated on him with another soldier and got pregnant. A couple days ago he told me he wish she would have a miscarriage and sure a shit she did. He told me about it and was very happy about it. I wasn’t. I know I’m going thru what he’s going thru but I just couldnt wish for the death of an innocent child. Am I wrong to feel this way?

Not wrong, but I don’t agree with you. It isn’t a child yet until it’s born.

The woman suffered a loss that no penis bearer will ever understand. This is a stay the fuck out of it situation.

You are not wrong to feel that way but miscarriages are very natural. The baby was not viable so the body expels it.

I guess it depends on how far along she was…

[quote]mom-in-MD wrote:
counterfeitsoda wrote:
It isn’t a child yet until it’s born.

so what is it?
[/quote]

“A child is a young human being between birth and puberty; a boy or girl. The legal definition of “child” generally refers to a minor, otherwise known as a person younger than the age of majority. “Child” may also describe a relationship with a parent or authority figure, or signify group membership in a clan, tribe, or religion; it can also signify being strongly affected by a specific time, place, or circumstance, as in “a child of nature” or “a child of the Sixties.”[1]”

“Biologically, a child is anyone in the developmental stage of childhood, between infancy and adulthood.”

A fetus is not a child.

[quote]mom-in-MD wrote:
counterfeitsoda wrote:
It isn’t a child yet until it’s born.

so what is it?
[/quote]

Let’s see…

No heart to speak of. Zero brain activity.

Holy Crap! It’s a Republican!

[quote]pookie wrote:
mom-in-MD wrote:
counterfeitsoda wrote:
It isn’t a child yet until it’s born.

so what is it?

Let’s see…

No heart to speak of. Zero brain activity.

Holy Crap! It’s a Republican!
[/quote]

LOL!

[quote]Zap Branigan wrote:
You are not wrong to feel that way but miscarriages are very natural. The baby was not viable so the body expels it. [/quote]

Indeed a natural happening, and most likely for the best, in both situations for the child (god knows what could have been wrong with it upon birth) and for the family to have an “unwanted” child.

Dont make it any more than it is, but human emotion is what it is, and if you feel happy (maybe relief is a better term) then so be it.

A friend of ours was married, could never get pregnant (after many doctor visits and a year or 2 of trying). Her husbund cheated on her. THey got a divorce. She gets a new boyfriend, boom pregnant. Boom misscarries. Boom pregnant again. God (or whatever you want to beleive) will not throw us more than we can handle, or give us things that is not best for us. Even if it seems its the worst, its for a reason IMHO.

OP, you are very right to feel what your feel.

It’s irrelevant imo in what stage the unborn child was before the miscarriage - it will be a catastrophy for the mother, and anyone who doesn’t sympathise with her on the grounds of pure humanity is an arse.

This includes your friend, if he indeed gloats over her misery: if he still loves his wife and wants to continue the relationship, he’ll have to deal with the situation in a constructive way. If he doesn’t (and it looks to me like he doesn’t), he should step back and let the grownups handle the situation with dignity.

To me it looks like he puts his pride above everything, even above the suffering of someone he made a marital vow to - and it’s of no consequence if she broke it first; he just did it himself. Oh, and I wouldn’t want a ‘friend’ like that.

Makkun

PS: Sorry for being so personal - this is much closer to home than I thought at first.

How many “this is my opinion and you sare stupid for thinking otherwise” posts are going to appear here?
Do fetuses decide on TBT or splits in the womb or is that post delivery?

[quote]jp_dubya wrote:
How many “this is my opinion and you sare stupid for thinking otherwise” posts are going to appear here?
Do fetuses decide on TBT or splits in the womb or is that post delivery?
[/quote]

They should bulk.

[quote]makkun wrote:
OP, you are very right to feel what your feel.

It’s irrelevant imo in what stage the unborn child was before the miscarriage - it will be a catastrophy for the mother, and anyone who doesn’t sympathise with her on the grounds of pure humanity is an arse.

This includes your friend, if he indeed gloats over her misery: if he still loves his wife and wants to continue the relationship, he’ll have to deal with the situation in a constructive way. If he doesn’t (and it looks to me like he doesn’t), he should step back and let the grownups handle the situation with dignity.

To me it looks like he puts his pride above everything, even above the suffering of someone he made a marital vow to - and it’s of no consequence if she broke it first; he just did it himself. Oh, and I wouldn’t want a ‘friend’ like that.

Makkun

PS: Sorry for being so personal - this is much closer to home than I thought at first.[/quote]

It’s easy to criticize the subject of the OP’s post, but how many actual human beings in such an emotionally charged situation would be free of those feelings? I’m pretty sure I haven’t met one.

[quote]counterfeitsoda wrote:
mom-in-MD wrote:
counterfeitsoda wrote:
It isn’t a child yet until it’s born.

so what is it?

“A child is a young human being between birth and puberty; a boy or girl. The legal definition of “child” generally refers to a minor, otherwise known as a person younger than the age of majority. “Child” may also describe a relationship with a parent or authority figure, or signify group membership in a clan, tribe, or religion; it can also signify being strongly affected by a specific time, place, or circumstance, as in “a child of nature” or “a child of the Sixties.”[1]”

“Biologically, a child is anyone in the developmental stage of childhood, between infancy and adulthood.”

A fetus is not a child.[/quote]

What is it 5 minutes before it’s born, a dog?

[quote]jawara wrote:
A buddy of mine’s wife cheated on him with another soldier and got pregnant. A couple days ago he told me he wish she would have a miscarriage and sure a shit she did. He told me about it and was very happy about it. I wasn’t. I know I’m going thru what he’s going thru but I just couldnt wish for the death of an innocent child. Am I wrong to feel this way?[/quote]

You are right…Being happy about a miscarriage is sick. She cheated, he should grow a pair and kick her to the curb. Not be happy that she miscarried. For a soldier he sure is a pussy. You should kick his ass.

You know you just started another abortion debate, btw…Thanks, like I don’t have enough on my plate.

[quote]etaco wrote:
makkun wrote:[…]

It’s easy to criticize the subject of the OP’s post, but how many actual human beings in such an emotionally charged situation would be free of those feelings? I’m pretty sure I haven’t met one.[/quote]

I see your point - and agree: yes, the feeling will come up. And that’s where being a responsible and caring adult human being comes into play - by dealing with and finally mastering this emotion (no one said marriage would be easy). But it’s in part morals and ethics which distinguish us from the other primates; and being gleeful over your spouse’s misery doesn’t fit that bill. The OP feels that there’s something sad and wrong with this - and I can’t disagree with him.

Makkun

[quote]pat wrote:
[…]
You are right…Being happy about a miscarriage is sick. She cheated, he should grow a pair and kick her to the curb. Not be happy that she miscarried. For a soldier he sure is a pussy. You should kick his ass.

You know you just started another abortion debate, btw…Thanks, like I don’t have enough on my plate.[/quote]

For once, we agree (don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone) - although you’ve said it so much more poetically.

And don’t worry about the debate - I thought they were called ‘tadpoles’ before birth, but I may be wrong…

:wink:
Makkun

A child is a human being from the moment of conception. It is just not a fully developed one yet. That does NOT negate its rights as a human being.

An innocent human being died and someone gloats over it. That is evil, plain and simple.

[quote]pat wrote:
counterfeitsoda wrote:
mom-in-MD wrote:
counterfeitsoda wrote:
It isn’t a child yet until it’s born.

so what is it?

“A child is a young human being between birth and puberty; a boy or girl. The legal definition of “child” generally refers to a minor, otherwise known as a person younger than the age of majority. “Child” may also describe a relationship with a parent or authority figure, or signify group membership in a clan, tribe, or religion; it can also signify being strongly affected by a specific time, place, or circumstance, as in “a child of nature” or “a child of the Sixties.”[1]”

“Biologically, a child is anyone in the developmental stage of childhood, between infancy and adulthood.”

A fetus is not a child.

What is it 5 minutes before it’s born, a dog?
[/quote]

He quoted that from some pro-abortion website that he didn’t bother to link. If it’s traveling down the birth canal, it’s non-human and not entitled to life. If it completely clears the birth canal, it’s all of a sudden human. If it’s dragged through the birth canal on a meat hook some time late third trimester, it’s fine because it wasn’t human anyway.

[quote]Headhunter wrote:
A child is a human being from the moment of conception. It is just not a fully developed one yet. That does NOT negate its rights as a human being.

An innocent human being died and someone gloats over it. That is evil, plain and simple.[/quote]

x2