Right now, for example, there’s this little guy that’s a project manager at the site I’m working at. Every now and then he gets all pissy – typical insecure stuff – telling me to shutup and how important he is.
I’m at the point where I just want to punch the little fucker. But of course then I’d be the bad guy and management would come down on me. The same management seems like they could care less when he gets like this.
If you want your job and don’t want to feel like shit, then go tell him what you want and how he’s affecting you. Don’t come off as pissed off. That’ll just get him pissed at you and give him cause for retribution. He’ll probably be pissy anyway, but it’ll be because he’s feeling defensive about the accusations. If you can, do it in front of a few others.
I love a fight as much as anyone else, but I’ve been in this position before, and this worked for me. It’s not as satisfying as throwing blows, but it does has a rush of its own. That said, I hope to never do this again. I’d be much happier if I could resolve problems with my fists.
Sometimes you just gotta take a deep breath, go with the flow, and kill em with kindness. Especially with superiors. If you don’t give them any reason to be pissy, they won’t be.
[quote]JDK wrote:
Hey guys, how do you handle assholes at work?
Right now, for example, there’s this little guy that’s a project manager at the site I’m working at. Every now and then he gets all pissy – typical insecure stuff – telling me to shutup and how important he is.
I’m at the point where I just want to punch the little fucker. But of course then I’d be the bad guy and management would come down on me. The same management seems like they could care less when he gets like this.
imhungry: yep, he actually says it. When people are overly rude in a professional setting, I just don’t know how to react. My instinct says to beat the shit out of them. But my rational side reminds me to try and stay calm. The outcome: I lose.
I have been in charge of some real winners, and the following is a list of possibilities that he is being an asshole.
You fucking suck at your job, and he can’t fire you, nor will his boss listen to his pleas to fire you. Hope it’s not this one.
You suck at your job, and he knows you could be better, but hasn’t figured out how to manage you. His frustration is getting to him.
He has been getting his balls busted all morning by his boss, and guess what, shit rolls downhill. You and your co-workers are probably to blame for the ass raping he received this morning, and he took the heat for you guys. So take his shit and work harder.
He is a doucher. This one is unlikely. But it is possible he is just taking out personal issues on you. It happens, but typically isn’t the case.
He feels like you don’t respect him, and he wants to let you know who is in charge. I see this one a lot. I typically don’t have this problem, because unless you dumber than a trained monkey you will not have a problem working for me. But I see a lot of people take this route. They can’t walk the walk, so they show you their dominance by talking down to you.
Just because he is an ass does not mean you have to become angry. Other people are not responsible for your reactions and feelings; you judge the experience according to what you think you need and react emotionally based on that judgment. Find out what you need, such as respect, that you do not receive from this person, and fulfill that need in some other way. This takes introspection and a lot of practice, but eventually you can get to the point where he can say anything and it won’t touch you emotionally.
This is not bullshit; I once worked with a guy that would get me so angry I would literally be shaking with rage. It took me 18 months, but I eventually got to the point where I could maintain an even mind regardless of his actions.
[quote]JDK wrote:
Thanks for all the advice so far.
imhungry: yep, he actually says it. When people are overly rude in a professional setting, I just don’t know how to react. My instinct says to beat the shit out of them. But my rational side reminds me to try and stay calm. The outcome: I lose.[/quote]
Ok.
So, in what context does he say these things?
Like Beans says… Do you give him a reason to act the way he does? i.e. not turning your work on time, not meeting deadlines, people complaining about you…etc? Are you good at your job?
[quote]aeyogi wrote:
Just because he is an ass does not mean you have to become angry. Other people are not responsible for your reactions and feelings; you judge the experience according to what you think you need and react emotionally based on that judgment. Find out what you need, such as respect, that you do not receive from this person, and fulfill that need in some other way. This takes introspection and a lot of practice, but eventually you can get to the point where he can say anything and it won’t touch you emotionally.
This is not bullshit; I once worked with a guy that would get me so angry I would literally be shaking with rage. It took me 18 months, but I eventually got to the point where I could maintain an even mind regardless of his actions.
He just comes out with the stuff… so there must be something going on in his mind.
Countingbeans: I’m good at what I do. He’s not my permanent boss, just at the client I’m at at the moment (I work for the consulting branch of a large company). I think no 5 is dead on. He really isn’t very competent, but I don’t ever mention anything about thinking that, but perhaps they way I act gives it away. So I guess I could fake respect… or perhaps even convince myself he’s worth respecting because he somehow got into that position… either way, I guess that’s life. I’ll have to learn to appear more respectful.
I worked as a welder in the oil and gas industry for years and met countless brown-nosers who managed to piss me off so much I hated myself. In all seriousness, just ignore the prick, inevitably he will screw himself and you can sit back and laugh.
The asshole is not worth getting stressed out about. Remember, you cant choose the people you work with so learn to let things go. You are going to meet more retards like him so its best to get used to it.
If you want to piss him off just smile and be polite to him-dont do what I did and throw someone over a fence and get into deep shit over it. You can also put antibiotic eye drops in his coffee and watch him shit through the eye of an needle .
