Halloween PIcs

fitone, i’ve had a few acquaintances growing up that dressed up as girls for halloween. they are officially on the other side now.

i just don’t understand how a regular guy can dress like a girl unless they’re actually gay.

Is it “eh?” or “Ayyy?”…

Although not nearly as polarizing and socially impactful as the infamous “PotatOH, PotAHto” debate, it was necessary to consult with Canadian Heritage Minister, Sheila Copps to assist in settling this simmering debate. Her reply was something along the lines of “If you continue to call my office Mr. Cake I will have the Royal Canadian Mounted Police ban you from every property owned by the Disney corporation, they know some people over there you know…”

Considering Sheila’s well deserved record of doing exactly what she says ("Copp’s references are only funny for Canadians, I appreciate the patience of our multi-national Nation) I surmised that I was better off researching on my own.

Utilizing the awesome power of the internet, searches for Canadian Idioms were futile until I accidentally typed “Idiots” and was rewarded with the following proof necessary to settle this matter once and for all…

BOB: Zoom out, eh. Let’s show them how big the screen is, eh. … Like normally we just have Great White North, eh, but look we got … what’s that over there?
DOUG: Ok, like England, Ireland and France, eh.
BOB: He’s a genious. He knows the islands.

DOUG: You know what we gotta do, eh? … Ram her from behind. Come on.
BOB: Who’s driving?
DOUG: You are, in case she sues for whiplash, I don’t know you, I’m just a hitchhiker, eh.

DOUG: Those big cons are gonna’ love you, eh.
BOB: What do ya’ mean?
DOUG: Your a cute little guy. There gonna’ be LOVIN’ you from dawn until dusk.
BOB: Where are you gonna’ be?
DOUG: I’ll be in the cafeteria selling smokes.

BOB: We’re gonna crash. We’re gonna be in the water again.
DOUG: Take off! We are NOT gonna crash, eh. There’s no way I’ll crash this! This is a beer truck, eh!

BOB: I’d like to thank the Academy … Academy for this … for this beer, eh. It’s a beauty. I’ll put it on my mantle and uh, you know, try to keep it cold.

There you have it, eh.

Next up:

Is it “Uhh” or “Huh” that has become the American idiom to replace the words “Thank You”

“As advertising blather becomes the nation’s normal idiom, language becomes printed noise”

~ George F. Will

Cupcake,

Don’t you know how they named Canada?

There were some explorers that found some new land…three of them. I forget their names…I dunno - check a history book. But anyway, they found this new land. So the first guy says, “we should name this land, aye. We can all pick a letter and that will be the name, aye.” So he starts out “C, aye.” The next explorer says “N, aye.” And the third one says “D, aye.”

This conclusively shows that it is indeed spelled “aye.”

morg…

According to the “Big History Book of Stuff I Made Up”, it is your incorrect pronunciation of the word “aye” that is leading you astray. Your friend was indeed correct when he told you that “it’s ‘eh’ dammit, we’re not pirates.” .

Say you worked at Biotest and one day you are working late. On your way out, you notice that the light to Timmy P’s office is still on (not unusual, Tim has a reputation for working late although I happen to know he’s just killing time until he can catch the “Midnighter Special” at “Bob’s (But when the procedures done, my new name is gonna be Barbie) House of Latex” on his way home). So anyway, you stroll by his office door and catch a glimpse of something strange, there is Timmy P sitting at his desk with nary a Goat, Midget, Power Tool or Swedish Twin in sight. Seeing your shadow cross his doorway, Timmy yells out for you to enter his office.

“It’s morg, right?..yes, of course it is. Anyway morg, I am sure you have noticed that there are no Goats, Midgets, Power Tools or Swedish Twins in here”

“Uh,…yeah Mister P, I did notice that but I’m not gonna tell anyone, I swear!”

“I thought so morg. You know I have noticed your fine work down in the primate laboratory, however, I have also noticed your fondness for K19, I noticed too that you have named her “Lucile”. I have to warn you morg, she’ll break your heart. Trust me, I know.”

(Tim wipes at a hint of a tear forming in the corner of his eye and mumbles “Oh, God…I know” under his breath)

“So, do we understand each other?”

This is where you would say “Aye, aye sir!”

I would also suggest that future arguments with Bob and Doug McKenzie are aborted prior to initiation.

“I personally think we developed language because of our deep need to complain”

~ Lily Tomlin

I think cupcake is Canadian. Just listen to his stories. Soooo Canadian.

“I think cupcake is Canadian. Just listen to his stories. Soooo Canadian.”

Fuckin’ eh!

“I don’t even know what street Canada is on”

~ Al Capone

You can spot a Canadian a mile away…even on the internet :wink:

morg lol i always spelld it fuckin aye.
and i thought pirates said Rrrrrrrrr

No, pirates say “HAAARRRRR”
I present the following as evidence.

“Girl: Hi
Boy: hello
Boy: who is this?
Girl: just a someone?
Boy: A someone I know?
Girl: nope
Boy: Then why the hell are you bothering me?
Girl: well sorrrrrry
Girl: I just wanted to chat with you
Boy: why?
Girl: nevermind your an asshole
Boy: Hey wait a minute
Girl: yes?
Boy: look I’m sorry. I’m just a little paranoid
Girl: paranoid?
Boy: yes
Girl: of what?
Girl: me?
Boy: No. I’m in hiding.
Girl: LOL
Boy: Don’t ******* laugh at me!
Boy: This shit is serious!
Girl: What are you hiding from?
Boy: The cops.
Girl: gimme a ******* break
Boy: I’m serious.
Girl: I don’t get it
Boy: The cops are after me.
Girl: For what?
Boy: I’m wanted in three states
Girl: For???
Boy: It’s kindof embarrasing.
Boy: I had sex with a turkey.
Boy: Hello?
Girl: You are ******* sick.
Boy: Send me your picture.
Girl: why?
Boy: so I know you aren’t one of them.
Girl: One of what?
Boy: The cops.
Girl: I’m not a cop i told you
Boy: Then send me your picture.
Girl: hold on
Boy: Hurry up.
Boy: Are you there?
Boy: **** you, cop!
Girl: Hey sorry
Girl: I had to do something for my mom.
Boy: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me.
Boy: When really you were notifying the authorities.
Boy: Weren’t you!?
Girl: thats not it
Boy: Then what?
Girl: I don’t want to send you the picture cause I’m not pretty
Boy: Most cops aren’t
Girl: IM NOT A ******* COP YOU DICKHEAD!
Boy: Then send me the picture.
Girl: fine. What’s your e-mail?
Boy: Just send it through here.
Girl: alright PIC
Girl: Did you get it?
Boy: Hold on. I’m looking.
Girl: That was me back in may
Girl: I’ve lost weight since then.
Boy: I hope so
Girl: what?!?
Girl: that hurt my feelings.
Boy: Did it?
Girl: Yes. I’m not that much smaller than that now.
Boy: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture?
Girl: yes
Boy: Alright let me find it.
Girl: kks
Boy: Okay here it is. PIC
Girl: this isn’t you.
Boy: I’ll be damned if it ain’t!
Girl: You don’t look like that.
Boy: How the hell do you know?
Girl: cause your profile has another picture.
Boy: The profile pic is a fake.
Boy: I use it to hide from the cops.
Girl: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol
Boy: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy…
Boy: Not to mention all the groceries.
Girl: Go **** yourself
Boy: I was going to until I saw that picture
Boy: Now my dick won’t get hard for a week.
Girl: I shouldn’t have sent you that picture.
Girl: You’ve done nothing but slam me.
Girl: you hurt me.
Boy: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn’t hurt me?
Girl: I thought you were bullshitting me!
Boy: Why would I do that?
Girl: I can’t believe that cops are after you
Boy: I can’t believe Santa lets you sit on his lap…
Girl: FUC YOU!!!
Boy: You’d break both of his legs.
Girl: You’re a ******* asshole.
Girl: I’ve been teased my whole life because of my weight
Girl: and you make fun of me when you don’t even know me
Boy: Ok. I’m sorry.
Girl: No you aren’t
Boy: You’re right. I’m not.
Boy: HAARRRRR!
Girl: I’m done with you
Boy: Aww. I’m sorry.
Girl: I’m putting you on ignore
Boy: Wait a sec
Boy: We got off on the wrong foot.
Boy: Wanna start over?
Girl: No
Boy: I’ll eat your pussy
Girl: You’ll what?
Boy: You heard me.
Boy: I said I’d eat your pussy.
Girl: I thought you said you couldn’t get it hard after seeing my picture
Boy: Do I need a hard-on to eat your pussy?
Girl: I’d like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes
Boy: Well I’m not like most men.
Boy: I get excited in different ways.
Girl: Like what?
Boy: Do you really wanna know?
Girl: I don’t know
Boy: You have to tell me yes or no.
Girl: I’m afraid to
Boy: Why?
Girl: cause
Boy: cause why?
Girl: well lets see
Girl: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna eat me out
Girl: doesn’t that seem strange to you?
Boy: Nope
Girl: well its strange to me
Boy: Fine. I won’t do it if you don’t want me to
Girl: I didn’t say that
Boy: So is that a yes?
Girl: I guess so.
Boy: Ok. I need your help getting excited though.
Boy: Are you willing?
Girl: What do you need me to do?
Boy: I need you talk like a pirate.
Girl: ???
Boy: When I start to go limp… you say “HARRRR!!!”
Boy: ok?
Boy: Hello?
Girl: You can’t be serious
Boy: Oh yes I am!
Boy: It’s my fantasy.
Girl: this is retarded
Boy: Do you want it or not?
Girl: Yes I want it.
Boy: Then you’ll do it for me?
Girl: sure
Boy: Ok. Here we go.
Boy: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs.
Boy: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against them
Boy: I softly begin to tounge your wet pussy.
Boy: I run my tounge up and down your smooth slit.
Girl: mmmm yeah
Boy: uh oh …going limp.
Girl: Har
Boy: You gotta do better than that!
Boy: Your picture was really bad.
Girl: HARRRRRRRRRRRR
Boy: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your pussy get more moist with every stroke.
Boy: I softly suck on your clit bringing it in and out of my mouth.
Boy: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to my nose.
Boy: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity.
Girl: mmmmmm you are good
Boy: I feel your thighs tighten as I suck harder
Boy: going limp
Girl: HARRRRRRR
Boy: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands.
Boy: You begin to sway back and forth.
Boy: going limp
Girl: this is stupid
Boy: …still limp
Boy: Do it!
Girl: HARRRRRRRRRRRRR
Boy: I turn you around to lick your asshole.
Boy: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass.
Boy: I see shit nuggets hanging from the hair around your asshole.
Girl: WTF?!?!?
Boy: They stink really bad.
Girl: OMG STOP!!!
Boy: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass
Boy: I tear off your wooden peg leg.
Boy: I ram it up your ass.
Girl: YOURE A ******* PYSCHO!!
Boy: Then I pour hot carmel over your head.
Boy: And turn you into a ******* candy apple…
Boy: I kick you in the face!
Girl: **** YOU ASSHOLE!!
Boy: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin…
Boy: Your parrot flys away.
Boy: …going limp again.
Boy: Hello?
Boy: Say it!
Boy: HAARRRRRR!!!”

I don’t know where this is originally from, but you can find it here.

http://www.yssing.dk/fun/bloodninja.txt

There is some other good stuff there also - non-pirate related.

/Jacob