Gym Flirting & Other Mating Rituals: The Stats

This seems reasonable and so does the perspective of not wanting to see butt cheeks or labia. I think there’s a happy medium where most people are in agreement.

Gym etiquette includes clothing choices, and it would make me feel terrible if people thought what I wore was disrespectful or tacky.

But apparently people are okay with it since everyone wants to talk to me. :wink:


Crazy right? That’s a whole 'nother can of worms for a different discussion that goes beyond the gym. I think it’s slowly getting better. Also, that aspect may be branch-specific; I haven’t spent much time with other branches to get a sense of how their cultures vary.

Interesting question. 1) I think the answer is very subjective, especially based on how standards have changed over time. Some folks still feel shoulders or other body parts being visible is overly sexual and it makes them feel uncomfortable. Does that mean we require everyone to wear sweatshirts? I’d personally feel a bit weird if someone had a clear outline of genitals, but I don’t think there’s anything objectively wrong with it as long as they’re covered enough that bodily fluids aren’t interfering with hygienic considerations, and they aren’t going around harassing folks like the gentleman mentioned earlier. It’s important to note that “dress X way to avoid disturbing others” has historically been a social norm that almost always means policing what women wear (see school dress codes etc). I think this gets at much more complex topics that are probably outside the realm of this thread though.

Ironically, I feel like America’s obsession with sex actually makes us more prudish. The assumption that anything dealing with nudity or genitalia must inherently be sexual can IMO feel more repressive in many ways. I wish we could collectively get over the fact that about half the population has vulvas and breasts or vice versa and stop making it this hand-wringing issue. That’s just my opinion.

Ultimately I think folks should follow the dress code for their gyms and observe requisite habits for hygiene. Beyond that, I think it can be a tricky line encouraging folks to make clothing choices based on how they might make other people feel (if it’s for something like the gym where otensibly they’re there for themselves to focus on their workout, not conduct a job interview). That’s because how people feel about what someone’s wearing can be so subjective based on time, culture, and a host of other factors.


Yes, it has. I’ve covered “double standards” for women and why they were “double,” something few ask or think about, I believe, in another thread. You’re right that such discussion would derail the thread.

Something I sincerely would like a serious man tell me one day is why this duality pulls at the heartstrings of grown men in the current day (not joking).

Thanks for the response.

Heh, there’s actually a woman at my gym that is quite similar to what you’re describing, you could braid her arm pit hair. But hey, that’s her choice.

YouTube algorithms are scary at times. Yesterday I was searching for new football boots on Google and a few Unisport videos came up. After speaking on this topic, this came up.

I just want to add, my opinion isn’t overly strong either way really. I just feel that some go a little over the top with the exposure. Apologies for derailing the topic anyway. This’ll be my last post on the topic of female attire because it’s a little bit of a nuanced topic, and having only wore a thong once. I don’t think I’m really qualified to talk too much about it. :see_no_evil: :hear_no_evil:


I know you’re joking here but what you said before this is true. It doesn’t seem like men are really wearing a whole lot more these days. On my college campus, it’s not unusual at all to see guys wearing shorts at lengths I would’ve normally only seen on women or a man in a XC/track uniform. They do wear stringers and crop tops in the gym, showing as much or more of their nipples and midriffs as women, and their thighs, butts, and sometimes a little more than that are very much on display as well in their shorts/joggers.

Didn’t Arnold and Co. go around basically half (or more?) naked in the gym back in the day?


I like Jedediah Bila! She makes a good point about the young women acting horrified when perfectly well behaved men notice that they exist in the gym.

We had a discussion about that in my log. The memes and comments that came out of it are hilarious.

But she’s off base about what women wear at home. Maybe she doesn’t dress provocatively in private, but maybe she has low testosterone, maybe menopause hasn’t been kind to her, or maybe she just doesn’t feel good about her body. Who knows?

But telling the world what women do and don’t do at home — based upon your own behaviors — is silliness.

There’s even a book called, Vacuuming in the Nude and Other Ways to get Attention, by Mike Rowe’s 80+ year old mother! It’s hilarious and I can’t recommend it enough.

So if elderly women enjoy their scantily clad bodies at home, what makes people think fit, happy, middle-aged women don’t also do that too on occasion?

I really think it’s all hormone related. TC has even written about the effects of testosterone and how women behave and dress differently when they’re producing more of it.

Also, keep commenting and no need to apologize! Your takes have been perfectly relevant, nuanced, and enjoyable. The whole discussion was interesting and I appreciate all the different perspectives.


One word: CrossFit. Pretty common to see shirtless guys and women in sports bras. It’s no big deal. The environment/culture thing again. And let’s not even get into male bodybuilders doing their posing routines in the mirrors at the gym wearing their competition panties…

Just keep in mind that very, VERY few women worked out during the 1970’s. It was extremely common to remove your shirt to check out your physique if a contest was in the future. Men’s shorts were a lot shorter than they are today. Thigh development could easily be seen. At times the gym would nearly come to a stop to see someone about to do their (two or three weeks out) competition go through some of the compulsory poses.

The weight room was a different place in the 1970’s.


Ahh, this brings back memories. Back when I played football, a crop top was the only acceptable shirt. Kept the pads off your shoulders, and nothing more. I don’t care if you were a 300lb offensive linemen with a gut like Larry the cable guy, you were rocking the crop top with pride.

I miss those days. Maybe I’ll have to make another crop top lol

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Not just for football….

We wore this for gym class too.


Crop tops on dudes: I’m a fan! Do it.

I also love short-shorts and the color pink on men.

Why? No idea. Maybe it shows extreme confidence. Maybe it highlights super athletic or muscular body parts. Or maybe some of those retro styles (crop tops and short shorts) just look cool on fit bodies.

That style needs to make a comeback. It’s a whole vibe.


With the average bodyfat % up so much these past few decades, i’m not so sure a comeback would be a good idea. Reminds me of section of an Olivia Newton-John video…


I assure you this is not my situation. That stops nothing.


Haha I can’t trust you men anymore! You’re all way too self deprecating!

But, yes, I agree rock those styles anyway.


I remember that Tnation had a poll, I think it was on instagram about gym hookups. I was surprised how low the numbers were.

However, I do know of a few at the gyms I had belonged to and there was surprisingly little drama associated with them. People would be together, then they’d be with other people and it was all relaxed and consensual.

I did get invited to a party by one of the gym-goers, I didn’t know her other than nodding and saying hi every once in a while, I think it was a birthday party, or maybe a house warming kinda thing. I had other commitments, so I didn’t go, but found out later that it turned into some kind of sex party later in the evening. In the pool, hot tub, one of the rooms upstairs.

It’s one of those things that you wished you didn’t miss out on, but are glad you did. Ya’know?

We also had one of the women that worked the counter that would take her hookups into the tanning room for some sexy time. It was well known, and she admitted to it, and was surprised when the boss let her go! Horny ginger wimmen!

I don’t know if this fits the conversation of the thread, but it’s funny anyways.