GWU College Essay

[quote]gsxtacy wrote:
ukrainian wrote:
myself1992 wrote:
tear my essay apart, make me cry, criticize it, tell me what’s bad.

Attach an essay of no more than 500 words indicating what most influenced you to apply to The George Washington University (required of all applicants). If you are applying to an accelerated or special program, also explain why you are interested in this program at GW.

  1. I had previously spent several summers in Miami, had visited Pittsburgh, and Boston, but D.C. was something else, it appealed to me in a way that the other places failed to.

  2. During my stay at D.C., I not only noticed that the city was extremely attractive, I also saw the economic importance and the great opportunities that such a city can offer.

  3. The school�?�¢??s flexibility in letting the students choose their programs of study is a great advantage because many freshmen go to college without having a clue about what they want to do; so to be able to have a personalized education is a great advantage.

I wanted to point out some grammatical mistakes and fix them. Grammar is important if going to a college.

  1. Should be: I had previously spent several summers in Miami and had visited Pittsburgh and Boston, but D.C. was something else; it appealed to me in a way that the other places failed to.

  2. Should be: During my stay at D.C., I not only noticed that the city was extremely attractive, but I also saw the economic importance and the great opportunities that such a city can offer.

  3. Should be: The school�?�¢??s flexibility in letting the students choose their programs of study is a great advantage because many freshmen go to college without having a clue about what they want to do, so to be able to have a personalized education is a great advantage.

for #3 do not say advantage twice in the same sentence. It makes it repetitive. Change it to something along the lines of… A very crucial advantage that GW provides their student’s is the flexibility in program selection as many freshmen attend college without concrete career paths. Being able to have a personalized education is a huge benefit to these individuals.[/quote]

I didn’t even notice that. Good pick up.