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Guide: How Not to Ask for Advice

I’ve been thinking of eating some pasta. What’s the optimum amount of dry pasta to cook?

Here’s some background info about me: I’ve never eaten pasta before, but I’ve eaten some other foods such as rice and chicken.

I read online the other day that 57g (2 oz) of dry pasta is the recommended amount for one person, but I’m not sure if that’s right for me.

Also, I was wondering what your approach is to adding salt. In another thread I was told to add “some” salt to the water but that seemed really unscientific.

I pirated all of Gordon Ramsey’s cook books, but the thing is, I’m kind of unique, so I’ve come up with my own modification to the spaghetti bolognese recipe, employing a daily undulating pasta quantity and weekly undulating salt quantity periodisation method. I’m also going to “do conjugate”. Is this optimal?

Is this ok? Am I allowed to do it?

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DUP really isn’t necessary when beginning. I would just go with upto a month of Starting Spaghetti or a different novice linear pasta progression program before moving on to 5/3/1 Creepin’ Death.

Only thing not allowed here is gluten-free

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Follow the Boring But Big protocol:

Monday: Work up to a max bowl of marinara and pasta. No extras.
Tuesday: Just one big bite of pasta marinara, done explosively. Then, a widowmaker: all you can eat ravioli filled with cheese and covered in a meaty sauce.
Wednesday: Mobility work. Practice using the spoon and fork to twirl the pasta.
Thursday: Gnocchi day. Get 3-5 solid bites of cream-sauced gnocchi, followed by some light marinara work.
Friday: Work up to a large slice of lasagna. Make each bite count, really attacking the noodle/meat pile with purpose and focus. Slowly chew some Italian bread to end the workout.
Saturday: Recovery day. Read Bonn Appetit magazine, and visualize the al dente pasta.
Sunday: PR day. Get out all the leftovers listed above, and eat as much as you can in 1 hour. Try to minimize rest periods, and realize your form won’t be perfect. It’s the work that counts here.

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These replies are 100% what you’ll get with these questions.

Maybe I’m missing the whole point and people post these questions as a sort of “discussion starter” and it’s all about taking a punt and show-and-tell.

The problem is that these sorts of posts attract a certain crowd.

I also think that some people legitimately don’t know how to think through a problem and they do actually need someone to tell them “just do the program and see how it goes first” and 6 months later they’re like “I took the advice and it worked out great, thanks!” which is why I’m still here I guess.

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