T Nation

Growing Up in a Religious Family


#1

I don't know if anyone else here on T-Nation grew up in a religious family, but to me, it sucks. Everything they do is based on religion. I wished I could talk about things with my dad, like a girl I'm boning and how good the pussy is, but i can't, because I'll get a lecture on how sex is for marriage and how i have a spirit of fornication. I wish i could go out to a bar with my dad or grandad and have a beer, but, no alcohol.

Even when i was a teenager, my parents made a huge deal over me looking at porn. It was like "so i like to look at naked females....whats the problem". Apparently they thought some "spirit of lust" was possesing me. If i started talking about magical lepercons they would think I was crazy, but saying a spirit of lust makes me look at porn is just as crazy.

Being dragged to church 4 and 5 times a week sucked as well. I missed many a cartoon on a Sunday morning because it was time to go to church. Anyone have similar experiences?


#2

inb4 pwi christian fundamentalists and apologists


#3

It's 'cause you're black. It's common knowledge that black folk love their Jesus.


#4

:cry:


#5

do guys really talk to their dads about how good the pussy they're getting is?


#6

No


#7

x2

i have never stepped inside a church in my life, me and my dad are pretty close, but i would never talk about how good any pussy is with him. One of my brothers though? probably. Maybe even my sister if i wanted to freak her out. hahaha, but NOT my dad.


#8

Yes, grew up in a very religious family. Both me and my brother announced our atheism to our Mom about a year ago. She cried for a few days, thought she failed as a parent etc. It was a good thing though, it just wasn't right to be pretending with her, going to church, saying grace etc. Now she has stopped pestering us to do these things and has accepted our position. Our relationship is stronger because of it.


#9

Ok good because the thought of my dad and one of my brothers talking about pussy just HELLA creeped me out.


#10

Mormon?


#11

I grew up in a religious household - but one that was still governed by rational thought as well (not driven fundamentalism or literalism), as my dad is a physicist. While their views on evolution, etc. are firmly set in the 21st century, they were (funnily enough they've changed with age) fairly social conservative. My two brothers and I grew up to have pretty much totally opposing views with regards to religion and politics - which makes discussions over dinner always interesting and fun.

What I'm trying to say is not that the fact that your parents are religious is necessarily the problem (n.b. I'm a declared and open total atheist). It sounds more like they haven't learnt to accept that you are (or are becoming) your own man. Some religious (and ideological) communities don't encourage that as it questions their perceived right to control (your) social behaviour.

Now as we all know, I've often criticised you for rather your unreconstructed and aggressive views on a number of social issues - and when put in context what you've just told us about the way your parents treat you, they make sense: it's OK to rebell if you perceive their views as overly restrictive.

The problem is that their pressure on you may have contributed to you on occasion going over the limit of rebelling accepted within society. That's why I think restrictive education tends to foster the opposite of what it's supposed to and therefore ultimately often fails.

What are you to do? I'd try to show my parents the respect you want them to show you. You may never be able to do things you wish you could - but as you expect them to respect your choices, so will you have to respect theirs. Show that respect, seek independence (ie. a job, etc.), be honourable, but stand up for what you think is right - and defend it respectfully if you have to.

They may never understand that (nb. life isn't fair), but at least one side in the relationship will be based on respect and tolerance. That is pretty much being your own man - sometimes in the face of opposition. You can take that further by raising your children in a more respectful and understanding way. Nothing wrong with being religious (or atheist) in the course of that - just leave your own kids the choices you wanted for yourself.

As for sex - it was tradition in my family (as set by my brothers before me) to tell my parents when we lost our virginity. That possibly comes closest to what you said about your father. I can tell you that wasn't a comfortable conversation - yet it showed my maturity in face of their opposition; and their respect for my (different) decisions. You may not have this choice - but you can affect one side of the deal: your own behaviour. Which is, as far as I'm concerned the measure of a (wo)man.

Makkun


#12

Nay but after my dad divorced my mom and he decided to turn into a metro whore and was fucking a different girl every night unfortunately anytime we had a conversation he would bring up details about some nasty black chick he had sex with.

another thing that was pretty annoying is that he used to be racist and most of my family is racist and all of a sudden hes banging black chicks.

this is just a small fraction of things my dad does that annoys the shit out of me lol.


#13

I refuse to answer since you are obviously possesed by a spirit of the ghey.


#14

Is a lepercon someone who cons other people into believing that he is a leper?

A found it, it is a conference of lepers:

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Lepercon

Why would you want to discuss this with your family?


#15

Church 5 times a week? I'd like to know the church that has sermons almost every day of the week... Church of Troll maybe?

Secondly, who on earth would talk to their parents about watching porn? This and having sex are things that they know you do but for fuck's sake you don't talk about it.


#16

LDS


#17

I have this too!! Small world....


#18

So ALL that time in church and you've learned NOTHING about what Christ said regarding lust? Either you're a COMPLETE idiot, or you're just being NeadHunter's alter-ego and stirring shit up as usual.


#19

Sadly in a lot of Baptist/Methodist churches that have a huge minority fellowship have church services or functions about 6x a week. My brother and his wife belong to one of these churches. They have 5 HOUR church mass on Sundays 5 fucking hours. How do I know this you ask? I had to sit through one of these tambourine beating marathons when my niece was baptized. I had a hangover from the previous night and I had to sit through this 5hr torture fest because they dont do the Baptism until the very end of the mass. Some 'ole Bullshit!!

Then for the rest of the week they have night time meetings, youth meetings, fund drive meetings, elders meetings. It's fucking ridiculous. All in the pursuit to take easily influenced peoples money.


#20

Yes, But I was happy to have structure in my home. My friends were allowed to go buck wild and in Brooklyn NY that is not a good thing. Find some friends to talk about the ponanny to talk to pops about MONEY and LIFE & DEATH shyt. Get that type of life wisdom from your family save that other stuff for your boys in the street.

The older you get..Well Let me speak for myself. The older I became the happier I was that family was treated like family and not my pals.

But yeah chruch on Sunday, Bible study on WED and a service on Friday was a bit much I had to break from that when I was 14.