T Nation

Growing Up Fat and Ugly


Along with many others, this past weekend I headed homeward for (Real) Thanksgiving and into the inviting arms and supportive criticism of my loving family.

Upon meeting my dad at my uncle's house, the conversation quickly shifts as he inquires about my gaining of weight. As I proudly announce my 10lb gain, he turns to me with a look of disgust and says "Man, you're gonna grow up to be fat and ugly..." Needless to say, I quickly informed my father that he would continue to get old and weak, and I would be big and strong, proceeding to lift up my shirt and stick out my stomach as far as possible, patting it for him.

Then, shortly after I expressed my intrest in transitioning to geared lifting, he began to rant about how gear does all the lifting and hes "All natural BABY!" Needless to say I had a good laugh about that as he continued to bash my goals in life.

Although I am used to these remarks from him and most of my family, it got me thinking how directly insulting that statement is. I certainly don't have many friends who's dads call them fat and ugly.
I'm sure many of you are used to recieving and brushing off such remarks but is it actually that straight foreward?


Put it in his ear, nose, and throat.

give him the Med School


With all due respect, your dad sounds like an asshole.

When I know I'm around people who don't necessarily share the same goals/passions as me I refrain from talking too much about them cause it's just pointless.


Have you tried hitting him?

We need a picture of you showing your belly holding a shoe.

With gear does that mean you can pull out more stop signs?

Can you find jeans that fit?

Have you started to lose your hair yet?

How big are your traps?


I think the correct question is, "How much can you zercher squat?"


I'm not big, he's just hatin


Ever consider that you may be fat & ugly.


Shit I forgot one. Thanks Irish.


Wow, that sucks man. It sounds like he's an angry old man. You may simply have to continue to distance yourself from him. I'd just be frank about it and then take a long time away from him.

I hope this will help a little... Years ago I had to distance myself from my dad for awhile. He was angry, constantly drunk, and negative. It got so bad that when I came to visit him before I left the country, he started screaming at my sister about how selfish I was because of a self-invented slight.(keep in mind, I had traveled hundreds of miles by bus to see him at this point).

That was the breaking point. I ended up having to "talk him down" over the phone and then cutting ties almost completely for 2 or so years.

...BUT then he turned himself around. I don't know what happened, but he started being a lot nicer less angry. Somehow his drunken rages turned into drunken "I-love-you-man" sessions.

Anyway, sorry to hear this and I hope things get better. Keep your head up.


I never get this kind of criticism from my family, of course they also know how easily my feelings can be hurt so it's possible they are treating me "delicately".

I recommending crying uncontrollably whenever anyone criticizes you.


Hilarious. Those (Canadian) pilgrims and indians must've really known how to party together...


Meh, it comes with the territory.

Many if not most parents aren't supportive for stuff like this. They only see value in building your career, getting married and starting a family, anything else is a waste of time by comparison.

Also why the hell would you be surprised at a negative reaction from your dad about your interest in taking anabolic steroids?


you have a very underdeveloped Chest and no man will ever want you

your chest is flat, like a notebook



yea, cry, that's all you deserve in this life.


Next time you see him, tell him you like guys. He'll forget about everything else.. Trust me on this...


Howdy twin, how you been?


I can't imagine being such an asshole as to tear down my own son in his goals at bettering himself.

Sounds like your dad has some internal conflicts he needs to work out.


meh.. lurkin'...


"geared lifting" = lifting with the use of supportive equipment, IE bench shirt, squat suit, knee wraps, etc.