I’ve formed a special relationship with Low-Carb Grow! You see, it was a dark and stormy evening when we first met. I was sadly brooding in my abode, staring longingly out of the rain streaked window. Why, oh why, can’t I find a delicious and high quality protein powder that will treat me well? All of the others teased me. The clumpiness, the cost, the poor quality ingredients. The taste as bitter as my melancholy life has become.
I was thinking of opening that window and plunging headlong into peaceful eternity when a truck pulled up in my driveway. I rushed downstairs and received the box with hesitant optimism. Could it be the Grow!? I didn’t let my hopes rise, however. I couldn’t relive the letdown and disappointments of the past. I carefully opened the box, removed the contents, and gazed upon the beautiful blue and yellow labeling capped with a lovely black top. Nice I thought. But the others also superficially enticed my senses, only to betray me with their lack of substance. I opened the tub and was greeted by the wafting odor of chocolate decadence. My hopes rising I quickly retrieved my shaker, added 3 scoops of Grow! and cold water from my loyal filtered pitcher. Anticipation escalated with each shake of my arm. I opened the shaker to see a beautifully blended, even frothy, liquid mixture. My hands trembling, I raised it to my lips. With a swish of the tongue and a velvety swallow I tasted protein nirvana. Could this be true? Wait, here comes the bitter aftertaste. But it didn’t arrive. I took swig after swig until the shaker was emptied. I collapsed on the couch in delirious ecstasy, still not believing that I had finally found it after all of these years. That relationship that everyone seeks but no one finds. The perfect protein. We’ve enjoyed a beautiful relationship. But then I find out that it’s out of stock! I rush to my tub only to gasp in horror at the frighteningly low reserves. But then I find that Tampa-Terry is offering a tub! That siren of knowledge from the sunshine state! Please, oh please, don’t make me part from my beloved! I need the Low-Carb Chocolate Grow! like the deserts need the rain! Like plants need sunlight! Like Beavis needs Butt-head!