I took my son to get a new tank top. His side muscles are getting so big that he is popping out of his wife beater at school, and it is causing a problem because the ladys are distracted, they can't keep their eyes off of him.
So we are in line at Walmart today, and this guy bumps into my achillies tendon with his shopping cart. I turned around and this s.o.b. is laughing at me. Not even a sorry. I told him to go back to Mexico and go pick some peppers. He got mad and called me a hillbilly. I was going to touch him with my jab, but the shopping cart was shielding him from my line of fire, so I picked up a bag of Skittles and launched it at his face.
He got out of the way, and the Skittles bounced off of this little girl's head. She started crying, and next thing I knew, this big black guy hits me over the head with a shovel. My son began to swing on him, and I got up and tackled the guy. I pulled down his pants and shoved a bag of skittles in his ass. Then I hit him in the cock with a pot of flowers.
The mexican guy thought it was pretty funny, so I threw him inside of his shopping cart and pushed him into a cactus. I didn't even pay for the shirt. My son and I just headed for the door. This old white guy at the door who only had one arm tried to stop us. My son shook his hand and I touched him with the jab. He went down before I could even throw the right.
As I was getting into the truck, this cop tried to put me in hand cuffs. I spun around twice and hit him with the deadly uppercut. My fourteen year old son started the pickup, so I jumped in the back and we sped home. It was a close one, but at least my son got a bigger shirt.