I need some advice; my girl-friend of almost 3 years (I met her the day after Thanksgiving) broke up with me. It was really GREAT up until about the start of summer. I quit my job ( bad mistake ) and took a part-time job but the hours were at night. 730pm to 1230am. I could mix up the day during the week but I always had to work Fri & Sat.
So out time together was drastically changed. And she works a 9 to 5 schedule pretty much, Mon. to Fri. When I first started I would stay over with her, but that stopped because she is tired & didn’t want to stay up so late. Her job is stressful & she wanted her rest. She’s a personal chef/assistant to a very wealthy family. Her boss is very demanding and my GF only knows one speed…FAST, go go go all day.
Over the course of the last few month I would take a Sat. off so we could go do something, and I would just work that Sun. I guess I didn’t do this as often as I should have!
She didn’t like me doing this job & was pissed I quit my other job. I wanted this new job for the experience because it would help me down the road.
SO, over the past few months we grew apart, less time together.
We didn’t communicate enough, I took her for granted…she’s a giver & would spoil me with love & affection. I didn’t give back enough & I wasn’t romantic enough. And because of her stressful job she would have LOTS of mood swings. And I believe part of that was because of me.
We used to do stuff during the day on Saturdays, but that even stopped. I’ve been tight on money & didn’t want to go out…it would lead to spending was my thought…stupid on my part. Like my mom told me, you don’t have to go out & spend to have good quality time together. She of course is right. AND, with her mood swings & really didn’t want to be around her. I was questioning our relationship, I knew the problem was because we weren’t spending enough time together, talking more and me not treating her like she should be treated.
She didn’t take my calls Sat. night, I called her Sun. at noon & she said the 4 dreaded words…we need to talk. I knew what that meant. She didn’t want to talk that day, she said we could talk on Mon. I said fine…I then called her back & said we need to talk NOW…she was crying & said no, it would have to be Mon.
So last night she said she no longer loved me, she isn’t happy & we need to break up. She stated I didn’t treat her well enough & that I have declined since she met me. I told her she was right & I should be a better bf to her. I told her I was busting my ass trying to get my career going, finding a better job.
I was upset & stayed calm. I told her we can’t throw 3 years away & that relationships are not easy…they take WORK. I also said if you love someone you’ll do anything for that person. And I said she hasn’t been very supportive of me! I kissed her on the cheek & went home.
I texted her a pic. of us that was taken at a birthday part Oct 11. We had a blast that night dancing & we were the life of the party. With the pic. I asked her if she was in love with me that night? Yes? She wrote back & said she was.
Can I win her back? DO I FIGHT FOR HER? During our relationship I wasn’t romantic enough. Do I send her flowers? Or should I just disappear? Work on myself, getting a better job, etc? I’m not crushed, since I have been through this before. BUT I am hurting! I want to get her back, dammit!
So give me some advice. And I’ve heard the…there’s plenty of fish out there & all that jazz. She’s 35 & I’m 38. We did talk about having a family and I want that so bad…I don’t want 3 years down the drain!
HELP. What’s my next step?