T Nation

Got Dumped


Gf of 2.5 years just recently left me. I was an avid lifter before I met her. I was only 17 at the time but I was in love with lifting weights. Anyways eventually once college came I had to choose between her or lifting. I chose her like an idiot and she left me about a month ago. I'm in the worst shape of my life but began lifting about a couple of weeks ago.

I've never been so motivated in my life to get into the BEST possible shape I can be. Anyone else have similar stories?



Uhh no but why would you need to stop lifting becuase you got a girlfriend? My advice is 1) Eat 1-2g per lb of protien 2) Go to the gym 3 ) Go to the strip club 4) Next time you get a GF dont be a turd


Well I was terrible at time management. I would go to class, work, study, and the remaining time I would hang out with her. Never
Felt as much pain in my life as I experienced when she left me.

As you can see I really let myself go


Over the years at The Health Club, I've seen some pretty impressive transformations
occur in around 5-6 months time from VERY motivated dudes...It's almost Winter,
so the timing is perfect to get your ass back in shape for Spring...so start TODAY,
Gimme 50 pushups...NOW!
Lol, good luck...And you're not a Man if you've never had your heart broken, and
love doesn't care about your ''status'' or how rich or poor you are...look at all the
famous people who break up and shit... And look on the bright side, you learned something,
and at least you didn't marry her because the break up would have been worse.

The best advice for a long term relationship is, observe the girl's MOTHER, because that's HER
in the future...how does the girl's mother look? Acceptable? Butt Ugly? More importantly
and above all, how's her attitude, level of compassion, intelligence?

Look at the Mother, that will tell you.


Thanks for the advice. How do i move on from this break up? I keep having moments of intense sadness. I want to move on as quickly as possible.

These are my goals

Currently at
Bench 150lbs
Squat 275lbs
Deadlift 295lbs
"These current lifts are bound to go up very quickly because I just began three weeks ago"

How long until I reach my goals?


Any girl you that makes you choose between her and something you love is fucking with you head and not worth the trouble.

Your choice when college came along should have been to lift weights and bang hotties.

Lesson learnt - move on - report back in 12 months on gainz made and hotties banged.


Fuck lot of bitches ......*clean bitches


No advice really but just wanted to say that you've got the typical build of a young man who did not spend his prime growing years putting on a foundation of size. Since you were probably "lean" no one cared.

but when youre carrying very little muscle, the smallest amount of fat gain as you get older (when its too late to put on much size) makes you look completely out of shape.

Such is life.

All you can do is lean up to 10% or lower and gain back the few pounds of muscle you DID put on earlier with muscle memory. That shouldnt be difficult... and IFF youre still young, you can put on some more muscle over the next few years to avoid this happening again later.

Otherwise simply spend the rest of your adult life tracking your "macros" and make sure you maintain 10% body fat or lower.


I'll never understand why people give up on fitness when theyre in a relationship. Someone is finally seeing you naked a regular basis so let's get sloppy, makes no sense.


How I miss freshman year. Easy classes, unlimited meal plan, free gym, easy chicks. That is the life.


First, if you find yourself having to choose between a relationship and your passion, lifting or whatever it may be, you don't want to be with that person, man, trust me. I work out every day in the morning before my family, wife and four kids, wake up. So you have to be in charge of the time you make for yourself and your woman.

I tell my wife, 'you got to realize I need to have a relationship with you AND the weights.' I will never stop working out and neither should any of you. If some girl tries to change your mind about that, leave her ass immediately.

The reason why people give up on their passions when they get in relationships is to appease their partner and because it's easier to not have to make time for both her and lifting. It's easier to be a pussy.

I went through a divorce several years ago and felt shitty for a couple months until I got fed up with feeling like a pussy and started going out more. Once you start associating with girls and dating again, you'll feel like a new man. You just need to get over yourself and get out there and do it.

Your goals--it's more important that you have them and constantly progress toward reaching them. The program you choose doesn't matter. How soon you reach your goals doesn't matter. Just focus on getting better and better and better. Make good choices and be serious about your training and you will reach your goals, period.


SIIHP... I got nothing else.


A) Shittest

B) She wanted you to be the non sexy so she could have you all by herself. Once you were the non sexy she no longer wanted you for herself.

----> Always let her have the feeling that you have other options if push came to shove.

Plus, and kudos to anyone who recognizes the reference, train your ass until it is hard as a bowling ball.




When it comes to gym:
Train hard. Train smart. Do both at the same time. Learn as much as you can from people that are badasses. Don't be a bitch, but also learn it's not that serious.

When it comes to women:
Play hard. Play smart. Do both at the same time. Learn as much as you can from people that are badasses. Don't be a bitch, but also learn it's not that serious.

Don't do one for the other. Do both because you want to do both.

Don't get into the habit of being shit at school either.


You can be shit at school.

However, you cannot be shit at life.

So, if you forever forgo the option of sliming your way into a corporate job, you have kind of let go of the rock.

Your mileage may vary.


I just said that because the OP is in school.


Does it matter why you said it?

A degree is a valuable thing, no doubt, but there are a lot of people out there who carved their niche out of nothing without one.

However those never stopped learning, degrees be dammed.


Yeah it indicates the kind of conversation I want to have.

Most definitely.


Does that mean that it matters to you because you want to know why to stay in school?