T Nation



Can anyone here remember when the first time or even the last time they met someone who made them smile uncontrollably, to instantaneously feel better or at least at ease by there slpendid prescence, or to want to hear everything that is on their mind? It hasn't been often but I've met a few girls, and more women, who fit into this category. Many times I've mistaken extreme physical attraction for this but in time I come to reality. From a female perspective how desirable is it for a man to show that he feels like this?


There is nothing wrong with letting a girl now that she inspires you or that she just has this amazing effect on you. However, the way in which you say it and timing are important. You want to pay her a compliment but don't scare her. And I would not tell her until you felt very comfortable and know that she would take it in the right way.

And to be honest with you, if a guy told me this... well, I would feel very flattered. I think that is one of the highest compliments a girl can get.


Thats pretty much what I figured/was hoping to hear. Unfortunatley, like I said, it's not that often that I feel this way for very long. How would you feel if a guy you didn't know outside of passing him by and echanging an unspoken mutual attraction just out and said that to you? BTW this really clearly isn't a hypothetical ? I'm pretty busy with commuting to and from school, studying, lifting, and working. With that said, I have no venue to see a few girls on campus I'm extremely attracted to, aside from walking right up to them and introducing myself. I've done it 2 times before now but to be honest I was PDS that I was going to score (call it intuition). I did. Anyway, I went for probably 3 years worth of thinking this about this one gorgeous young woman in particular who I'd see on campus. She graduated so I missed out there, but I don't want to make the same mistake twice.


Isn`t that called falling in love, by any chance?


I've been in love. I don't think it's something I can fall into with just a looking at someone.



I would agree that what you are describing is not falling in love. More like falling in lust...

Falling in love requires more than just a base initial attraction. However, I definitely am not knocking initial physical attraction... :wink:


Infatuation then?

Maybe its just that bizarre feelin, instinct, when you know without a doubt you want a girl and, for some reason, you absolutely know the door is open for you, without having ever exchanged a word. Its all in the way each one looks at the other. Rare but always interesting feeling indeed.


I remember when I was a Personal trainer a few years ago, and I had this happen once. Damn scary. The first time I saw her I couldn't look away. She looked a little curious about what my problem was but didn't ask. After that, I could never look at her again without getting that sick feeling in my gut (in a good way). Although I never really spoke to her (except around mutual friends) and only actually saw her a handful of times (maybe 8-10), I still think about her from time to time (not sexually, but more of the idea of her). Really quite wonderful!


Not at all. To be honest I could never understand people who say that they are not interested in how a person looks in terms of attraction. Yeah, there are plenty of purdy girls who can't hold my attention for more than 169 seconds the amount of time it takes for me to picture them naked and in action. Denying some level of attraction to something so radiant and noticeable in my mind is a form of self-depravity.


Yeah it's interesting but somewhat puzzling.


Man, it`s almost like when you see babe with a really hypnotizing rack (not necessarily inflated), and she does not feel ashamed at all to advertise it to the world (not too much clothing).

You know the type of feeling, where you are always drawn to look back, and almost feel ashamed for being out of control about it. Almost like feeling like a 13 year old kid who`s never seen anything that beatiful and has to contemplate it. Again and again. Like an age regression thing.

Good thing it doesnt happen too much. Id feel out of control, just plain male, as opposed to man.

(Feminists. Dont worry too much, there is such a thing as acontroling others through specific traitsthing in nature. I didnt invent it. Some species actually thrive on being otherspushers`.)


Sure, I remember that -- I married her. Mrs. P still makes me feel that way seventeen years later. You guys should be so lucky.



It is funny though, because I get carried away with the physical attraction part. Very rarely do I find a girl I like. Usually I like a girl when she really likes me because if the girl likes my eccentric ways, shes gotta be good.


That's kinda what I'm reffering to. Let me ask. Did you know her as a friend first or just go up to her out of the blue?


Yeah if I can ACT A FOOL around a girl her beauty point go up.


IATD: Act a fool! Yep! Specially if you can make her laugh all the more when doing so.

That one's a dead giveaway: When you can make her laugh, your light years closer to hitting it than any other 'sign' she can give you.


If you still have those initial feelings after being with the person for years...you'll know it's love.
Some of us are just that lucky, I guess.

Truth? If a complete stranger walked up to me and told me that...
I'd quite franky be frightened. If it was someone I had gotten to know, on the other hand and felt the same way about him...then him saying that would make my day!

A little piece of advice...
Most (not all) women (particularly younger women) say that they want a guy who treats them nicely. But the truth is that sometimes this can be too much. That's why you'll find many women out there with the "bad guys".
So holding back a little on the emotional revelations may just be a good idea until you know that this "hypothetical girl" is the one for you. Too much emotional "niceness" can sometimes feel suffocating. But then again...it depends on the person and situation.
And personally, hearing that from the person I love would make me putty in his hands!


Point well taken. I agree for a basice stranger to come off and just say something so experssionate would probably make me thing they were either deranged or high. So any suggestions on how to convey this feeling to someone without using the typical :
"Hi my name is ---- "and then go on from there with typical banter.


SIMONEB: So you are confirming us what Karma said about the following strategy that should work women:

1) Be yourself
2) Don't give a shit or try to be out of character with the lady until she shows you she digs you
3) Then, maybe, open up.

(Not the other way around!)

Nice to see different ladies agree on some 'core' processes and feelings.

Thanks for your input!



That was the longest, most vague reply I've read in quite some time...

You're right though, in a sense, it all depends on the situation and the people involved.

See I got it done in one sentence...