T Nation

Good Training Program for Thief?

Ok, so I’m a thief and I need help putting together a good training program for fitness.

I don’t want to get too big, because that would make it harder to fit through small places.

I need more strength for climbing (walls, ropes, trees), and more speed for running.

I don’t want big, bulky muscles. I need FUNCTIONAL STRENGTH, for functionally taking stuff.

Eat more carrots.

I heard the Hamburgler did Dogcrapp training with great results!

Do pilates on bosu balls.

Go to China and try to steal male heirs.

So weak.

Heres a tip:

Get a job.

[quote]Split wrote:
Heres a tip:

Get a job.[/quote]

Wow. I’m drunk and you took it seriously.

[quote]Hadow Khan wrote:
Split wrote:
Heres a tip:

Get a job.

Wow. I’m drunk and you took it seriously.[/quote]

We take being drunk very seriously.

hic

[quote]MarvelGirl wrote:
Eat more carrots.[/quote]

Picture added for emphasis.

You’ve been “Braff’d”!!!

[quote]Hadow Khan wrote:
Split wrote:
Heres a tip:

Get a job.

Wow. I’m drunk and you took it seriously.[/quote]

yeah, its a Sunday night, so i guess it needs repeating…

Get a job.

[quote]AngryVader wrote:
MarvelGirl wrote:
Eat more carrots.

Picture added for emphasis.

You’ve been “Braff’d”!!![/quote]

I thought we’d been over this Vader!!

[quote]That One Guy wrote:
AngryVader wrote:
MarvelGirl wrote:
Eat more carrots.

Picture added for emphasis.

You’ve been “Braff’d”!!!

I thought we’d been over this Vader!![/quote]

Now, look what you did! You bastard! You know Toggy is very fragile right now.

It’s okay baby. it only hurts for while, I promise.

Just the tip?

[quote]That One Guy wrote:
AngryVader wrote:
MarvelGirl wrote:
Eat more carrots.

Picture added for emphasis.

You’ve been “Braff’d”!!!

I thought we’d been over this Vader!![/quote]

Yes, but I never learn. Do you need a hug? I think Vicomte might have you covered there. :stuck_out_tongue:

Parkour!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZ3tsC3moB4

Building climbing:

Sprints, hurdles, rope climbing and muscle-ups.

[quote]Vicomte wrote:
That One Guy wrote:
AngryVader wrote:
MarvelGirl wrote:
Eat more carrots.

Picture added for emphasis.

You’ve been “Braff’d”!!!

I thought we’d been over this Vader!!

Now, look what you did! You bastard! You know Toggy is very fragile right now.

It’s okay baby. it only hurts for while, I promise.

Just the tip?[/quote]

ROFL.

Use dildo’s, thousands of them.