T Nation

Good Sex and Wacko Women

Why is it that girls who love sex as much as I do are always a bit wacky, as in they have many issues? Aren’t there any psychologically well-adjusted women out there that put out? Is it just me or are over-sexed women always psychos?

Dunno, but my last “girlfriend” definitely was a sex freak and had more issues than any other girl I have ever been with. She was incredible in bed (still miss that), but she came with TONS of baggage, issues, headaches, and ex boyfriends and lovers. I think she had high T for a girl too, as whenever she trained or just exercised and ate right she lost got lean, tone, and developed tight muscular legs in no time. Maybe girls who are uninhibited, single, and really, really love sex are going to tend to have had a lot of lovers and maybe more baggage and issues.

Yes, I think that most women who ‘put out’ have issures. Unlike men, women are conditioned that virginity is very precious and we have to remain ‘pure’. When a woman has many partners she is a slut, when a man does he is a stud. Huge double standard, but it is a fact of life.

I went through a phase where I slept around, and even though I was enjoying myself, and was fine with what I was doing, I knew that others were labelling me. That labelling tends to fuck with your head a bit. That mind fuck tends to create baggage.

I am just referring to women who 'play the field' here, a woman who can't get enough sex in a steady relationship or marriage just has a very happy partner.

Why is it that alot of the girls who sleep around alot come from messed up families?

Wow, this is probably a much deeper topic than you realize. Yes, statistics can show that most “over-sexed” girls have baggage/are psychos/come from fucked up families. Most of the girls I know that fall into the “over-sexed” category comply with that stat. I agree with Michelle about the societal pressures and double standards that attempt to keep women from enjoying and engaging their sexuality. It can create a lot of ‘baggage’ if the woman is not strong enough to deal with the labels placed on them, and most women are not that strong.

I can only speak from my experience on this and for the most part, I fit the stereotype. My dad was never around when I was growing up (military brat and all) and my mother was emotionally unavailable. I had a fucked up childhood and did a lot of self-destructive things in my adolescence. I also did a lot of ‘looking for love in all the wrong places’. I even married a ‘father-figure’. However, after many years of emotional struggling, I broke the mold and got my shit together (for my sake as well as that of my son) and made a life for myself. I am what most would consider “well-adjusted” (except for ShitDisturber and his darling wife) - I am always being complimented on how well behaved and respectful my son is; I have a marvelous love affair with an amazing man (for about 2.5 years now and am getting married next May); I am quite gainfully employed and am well respected in my field (have requests from across the nation for my work and participation in training seminars); I am a Crisis Youth Counselor at my church (bad experiences/choices can be regarded as ‘baggage’ or can be used as learning tool for the next generation); have a bevy of friends and acquaintances (primarily male, women tend to dislike my forwardness); I have a variety of interests outside of sex; AND I have one ROCKIN’ sex life.

I think you hit the nail on the head and said what I was going to when I nearly posted again on the subject. I think part of the “issues” that develope with a girl that sleeps around a lot are due to society (especially American and Asian) morals and standards for women. Too bad for the double stardard for women, but it is a fact of life and something that has probably developed for a reason (biological as disussed in another post and others). Anyway, I also think girls that “put out” a lot tend to be needy and desire acceptance and do often have trouble being alone or without a companion. Just my opinion from some of my experiences.

In my case I wasn’t looking for anything more than an ego boost. I walked into bars and selected the man I would be going home with, and batted 1000 over the months that I acted like that. I had dumped my boyfriend and the backlash was a desire for physical pleasure without the ‘trouble’ of a relationship.

My issues did not stem from bad parenting, but from sexual abuse as a child. My sisters and I all hid the abuse from my parents and never discussed it between ourselves. Ironically, I was in counseling for all four years of college, and my Sr. year decided that sex was no longer going to control me - I was going to control it. And control it I did.

It seems like most of the women I have been with who really enjoyed sex or who were “freaky” were all a taco short of a combination platter. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, though. I kind of find women who are out of the norm or different to be more interesting, as long as they aren’t different in a negative/bad way.

And I do agree that there is a serious double standard going on in regards to how men and women who sleep around are perceived by society (sluts/studs), but IMHO a guy can be a slut as well.

Curious?why is it that when girls are slutty they come from messed up backrounds,but that is not always the case for guys who when they are slutty may or may not come from a bad backround?

Rebellion is different for men and women. From early on we are told about how important it is to be thin and beautiful and pure. This leads to eating disorders, obsessiveness about hygene (or the complete opposite) or appearence and reckless sexual behavior. That is rebellion for some women - not necessarily all three of course. Women’s bodies are MUCH more controlled by society than men’s are, and so the rebellion against that control involves going against all of “socitey’s” rules about their bodies.

I'm not a man, but I think 'rebellious' behavior is different for men. A man who sleeps around is not being rebellious he's being 'a man'.

To be honest I’ve often wondered this myself. In my own experience it often seems that the women who I’ve been with who enjoyed sex the most often had a number of childhood or adolescent issues. Often they were the victims of sexual abuse, abuse or neglect from parents, or came from some sort of unstable environment. When they are younger (teens-mid 20’s) they often come across as needy or even a little “psycho”(as steve put it). However as they mature, I often find these women the most interesting to be around. Once they come to terms with whatever issues they have, they often seem to have a little more depth of character than many women who come from families who functioned “normally”. I like the strength and straightforwardness many of these women exibit. I also like that many of them seem to have a strong sense of who they are. There are a few women on this forum who I think would fit this description. I won’t mention names as I don’t know any of them personally and don’t want to be presumptuous by speaking for them. I know I’m generalizing here a litte. I’m sure there are lots of women from positive family backrounds who have strong sex drives and are open in talking about it. It’s just in my experience, the majority of women I’ve met who were sexually open and aggressive had a fucked up family past in common.

Hmmm…maybe it’s just that all the women who would have sex with you are a bit mentally unstable :slight_smile: Hey don’t get mad, I’m surprised nobody else jumped on that line…

Hey, Magnus, I hope I’m one of the women you had in mind! grin

karma is this guy(latest aquisition) you’ve been seeing for 2.5 years the same guy that you said you needed to hint around to for anal sex? Yeah you’re really open and frank about your sex life alright, with us anyway. From reading you posts one would think you were single. JC#10 will be crushed, poor kid, or will you do him anyway? Glad to hear you do something other than fuck. You wouldn’t know it from your posts as that seems to be all you talk about. As for your ex, you married the loser. Is that my fault, your mothers’, Bill Clintons’ maybe? Let me guess he was a perfect gentleman and then just turned into an asshole overnight. The only relationships you talk about are your fucked up ones, mr.“too this”, mr.“too that”. You don’t even talk about your son or anything you like to do. I don’t recall reading anywhere that you even workout. What do you expect me to think of you as you present a very one-sided view of yourself. That’s all we have to go on. BTW if any guy talked the same shit as you I would think the same of him. My wife and I are both very sexually liberated, we just don’t feel the need to discuss it with complete strangers. You may enjoy making the boys jump but I don’t think the men are biting(or stroking). I guess your boyfriend doesn’t mind you coming on here and telling us all this stuff. I bet he’s real proud or does he do the same? If my wife I was on here talking the crap you do one of us would be heading for the door. You obviously expect reaction with your posts and when you get some negative feedback from me you give me your sad(I’m crying really) lifestory(way too much information) as if you are trying to justify yourself. Whatever.

Yup! BTW, I personally enjoy the Gang O babes column. For me T-mag is as much about entertainment as it is about training and nutrition related information. If it wasn’t why would TC bother to write the “atomic dog” editorial each week? Keep up the good work.

Regarding your first question, yes, they are one and the same and no, I’ve solved the problem of my reluctance to be direct with him regarding anal. Thank you for your sincere and kind interest in my sex life - which, of course, you have no desire to be involved in or read about and that’s why you seem to be chasing me around threads ragging on me for it. :wink:

Before you go discussing “all” I ever talk about, why don’t you do a search on my name and actually read ALL that I’ve talked about. Then you’ll have a leg to stand on if you want to bitch at me for what I post, as of now you haven’t one.

Since you asked the question of whether or not my lover is “real proud” of me, I’ll take the liberty of answering. I print out much of the goings on here for him to read (he hasn’t access to read online) and yes, he finds the majority of it amusing. He will occasionally respond in a protective fashion (like Demo Dick does when someone attacks Michelle) to posts such as yours but he is well aware that I can take care of myself and will never be intimidated by the likes of you or any other churlish cad.

I don’t give anyone my “sad lifestory” in any effort to “justify” anything. YOU were the one that brought up the issue of being a single mother and I, thinking that you had a working brain cell somewhere in there, sought to educate you as to the circumstances you were trying to hold an opinion on. I now know better.

Ummmmm, maybe sex drives women whacky. Is that why I have never seen a crazy nun? Holy Moly!

Could it be that it is easier to be “slutty” for women than it is for men? If a guy is emotionally screwed up and decides to have sex with anything that walks, his success rate is not determined by his decision alone. While, if a woman decided to go that route to relieve any emotional distress, she can do that easily by ceasing to resist advances. Any woman that is not horrible looking can walk into a bar and find someone to sleep with if she decided to do that. A man cannot.

Hyok, AMEN!!! AMEN!!! I was going to respond in very similar fashion after reading all these posts, then read your’s. I totally agree. Women possess the “Gold” in the Golden Rule theory. (She who has the gold, MAKES THE DAMN RULES!) Herc

Personally, I find it rather odd when someone (male or female) spends so much time posting everything and anything regarding sex. So, I just skip over this topic whenever - and i find lately, I’m spending alot of time skipping around in the OT forum. Which is why I’m here today - I leave for a week and come back and all I see is sex this, sex that, porno this and that…wierd. Like, ain’t there forums on the internet specifically about this stuff?

Oh well. If that's what like to spend your time posting about here - to each their own. I guess we're (Ko and I), spending our time actually having the great sex rather than spending the time posting about it ALL the time....