T Nation

Going to Hell for This

I was texting this girl, 19 years old…somehow we got on the topic of being self conscious. She said she cut herself, I said no you don’t and she sent me a picture of her wrists. I told her “you just now did that with a pencil”…then she showed me more serious pictures. FML awkward turtle moment

Should have told her to go down the road not across the street

shouldve told her to stop fooling around and come over.

I don’t think you did anything wrong other then not believe her or just being oblivious… I used to be extremely dense and would run into situations like that all the time as a result sometimes harmless sometimes not so much… Anyways hope she is okay cutting is a sign of severe emotional conflict and isnt something to just brush aside.

I bet she is a little girl looking for attention. If she were serious about harming herself, she would just do it and not play games. Anyone can jump off a building or in front of a train or access a gun or rope. Anyone cutting or doing that kinda thing is just a ball of self pity.

You’re not going to hell yet chobbs, but I’ll help. What you need to do obviously is exploit this girl’s emotional weakness and psychological infirmity for sex.

[quote]dirtman wrote:
I bet she is a little girl looking for attention. If she were serious about harming herself, she would just do it and not play games. Anyone can jump off a building or in front of a train or access a gun or rope. Anyone cutting or doing that kinda thing is just a ball of self pity. [/quote]

Not really true, I know a few people that were depressed one suicidal, that would cut out of self loathing and some other dark emotions but the cutting itself was just a release, wasn’t the way that they tried to off themselves, then others who would do it again… Out of serious self loathing and hate… seems to be a theme of self mutilation, shame, hurt, pain, anger, or other contractions coming off in often self inflicting violent behaviors…

I would not just see it as a cry of attention, I am sure in some small cases that can be true, but in the entirety? not in the slightest… Again its not a suicide attempt for them just release, or fantasizing.

[quote]cstratton2 wrote:

[quote]dirtman wrote:
I bet she is a little girl looking for attention. If she were serious about harming herself, she would just do it and not play games. Anyone can jump off a building or in front of a train or access a gun or rope. Anyone cutting or doing that kinda thing is just a ball of self pity. [/quote]

Not really true, I know a few people that were depressed one suicidal, that would cut out of self loathing and some other dark emotions but the cutting itself was just a release, wasn’t the way that they tried to off themselves, then others who would do it again… Out of serious self loathing and hate… seems to be a theme of self mutilation, shame, hurt, pain, anger, or other contractions coming off in often self inflicting violent behaviors… I would not just see it as a cry of attention, I am sure in some small cases that can be true, but in the entirety? not in the slightest… Again its not a suicide attempt for them just release, or fantasizing. [/quote]

I can tell you first hand that if its a real attempt. They don’t tell you they just do it. And these people that are fantasizing and hate themselves, they get no sympathy from me. You have to help yourself. If you don’t wallow in your own world of self pity and hate you can get out of it. Its their choice to see a way out or not. Sometimes the harsh treatment is the best medicine for people like that.

[quote]dirtman wrote:
I can tell you first hand that if its a real attempt. They don’t tell you they just do it. And these people that are fantasizing and hate themselves, they get no sympathy from me. You have to help yourself. If you don’t wallow in your own world of self pity and hate you can get out of it. Its their choice to see a way out or not. Sometimes the harsh treatment is the best medicine for people like that.
[/quote]
I agree with you on all that, except I’m not sure if you are saying that cutting is attempted suicide? People who cut themselves aren’t trying to commit suicide, it’s just a form of self-mutilation. They don’t want to kill themselves, they just want to “punish” themselves.

[quote]csulli wrote:

[quote]dirtman wrote:
I can tell you first hand that if its a real attempt. They don’t tell you they just do it. And these people that are fantasizing and hate themselves, they get no sympathy from me. You have to help yourself. If you don’t wallow in your own world of self pity and hate you can get out of it. Its their choice to see a way out or not. Sometimes the harsh treatment is the best medicine for people like that.
[/quote]
I agree with you on all that, except I’m not sure if you are saying that cutting is attempted suicide? People who cut themselves aren’t trying to commit suicide, it’s just a form of self-mutilation. They don’t want to kill themselves, they just want to “punish” themselves.[/quote]

Yeah and they need to make a choice to redirect that self loathing some place else. And heal themselves. If they don’t, they stay trapped and its up to them. I feel no pity for them. And neither should you.

I am saying that some suicidal people ALSO self mutilate but not all self mutilaters are suicidal.

[quote]dirtman wrote:
Yeah and they need to make a choice to redirect that self loathing some place else. And heal themselves. If they don’t, they stay trapped and its up to them. I feel no pity for them. And neither should you.
[/quote]
I don’t. That’s why I said I agreed with you on all that.

[quote]dirtman wrote:

[quote]csulli wrote:

[quote]dirtman wrote:
I can tell you first hand that if its a real attempt. They don’t tell you they just do it. And these people that are fantasizing and hate themselves, they get no sympathy from me. You have to help yourself. If you don’t wallow in your own world of self pity and hate you can get out of it. Its their choice to see a way out or not. Sometimes the harsh treatment is the best medicine for people like that.
[/quote]
I agree with you on all that, except I’m not sure if you are saying that cutting is attempted suicide? People who cut themselves aren’t trying to commit suicide, it’s just a form of self-mutilation. They don’t want to kill themselves, they just want to “punish” themselves.[/quote]

Yeah and they need to make a choice to redirect that self loathing some place else. And heal themselves. If they don’t, they stay trapped and its up to them. I feel no pity for them. And neither should you.
[/quote]

I don’t feel self pity, but I do emphasize as to how they could get to that point… Sometimes they need the support of other people to heal themselves as well… We are only so strong… You know people act unconsciously in all different sorts of ways… Some resort to self mutilation, others turn to violence, some to drugs, etc… If we just tell people to get their shit together and act coldly then no one gets to see the light.

[quote]csulli wrote:

[quote]dirtman wrote:
Yeah and they need to make a choice to redirect that self loathing some place else. And heal themselves. If they don’t, they stay trapped and its up to them. I feel no pity for them. And neither should you.
[/quote]
I don’t. That’s why I said I agreed with you on all that.[/quote]

Yeah sorry… just hits home a bit. :slight_smile:

I’ve read that as many as 30% of teen girls will cut at some point. It can be a sign of very serious emotional distress but, as others have said, it rarely a suicide attempt.

This is pure opinion and not scientific at all, but I think this is somewhat exacerbated by the fact that it seems to have “cool” in some circles to be varying degrees of fucked up and cutting, for some, has become a way to demonstrate this form of coolness. Deliberately conspicuous use of behaviour and psych meds is another.

This bugs the shit out of me because it trivializes what is, for some, a very serious and real health problem by reducing it to yet another juvenile quest for attention and status. This makes it harder to distinguish who really needs the help and support and who is just screwing around. I have no way to know which camp the girl the OP is talking about falls into (although I have certain suspicions).

OP: Given your last thread about the girl with no straight guy friends, I urge you to try to find girls who are at least somewhat less crazy to hang out with. They are out there, although they are damn rare. Especially at your age.

Its hard for me to think she is serious. A very close relative went through this years ago and she handled the situation differently. There was no flaunting of any sort. Like Batman said, it seems to be a trend of some sorts throughout the female teen population. Dont bash her but try to end any type of relationship with her.

[quote]farmerson12 wrote:
Its hard for me to think she is serious. A very close relative went through this years ago and she handled the situation differently. There was no flaunting of any sort. Like Batman said, it seems to be a trend of some sorts throughout the female teen population. Dont bash her but try to end any type of relationship with her. [/quote]

I have teen daughters and my youngest tells me it is very common among middle school girls.

[quote]batman730 wrote:
I’ve read that as many as 30% of teen girls will cut at some point. It can be a sign of very serious emotional distress but, as others have said, it rarely a suicide attempt.

This is pure opinion and not scientific at all, but I think this is somewhat exacerbated by the fact that it seems to have “cool” in some circles to be varying degrees of fucked up and cutting, for some, has become a way to demonstrate this form of coolness. Deliberately conspicuous use of behaviour and psych meds is another.

This bugs the shit out of me because it trivializes what is, for some, a very serious and real health problem by reducing it to yet another juvenile quest for attention and status. This makes it harder to distinguish who really needs the help and support and who is just screwing around. I have no way to know which camp the girl the OP is talking about falls into (although I have certain suspicions).

OP: Given your last thread about the girl with no straight guy friends, I urge you to try to find girls who are at least somewhat less crazy to hang out with. They are out there, although they are damn rare. Especially at your age.[/quote]
Maybe I need to change my criteria…currently looks over everything…maybe personality and morals should come into play sometime

[quote]csulli wrote:
You’re not going to hell yet chobbs, but I’ll help. What you need to do obviously is exploit this girl’s emotional weakness and psychological infirmity for sex.[/quote]
Lmfao I would but she’s damn near married

[quote]Testy1 wrote:

[quote]farmerson12 wrote:
Its hard for me to think she is serious. A very close relative went through this years ago and she handled the situation differently. There was no flaunting of any sort. Like Batman said, it seems to be a trend of some sorts throughout the female teen population. Dont bash her but try to end any type of relationship with her. [/quote]

I have teen daughters and my youngest tells me it is very common among middle school girls.
[/quote]

Kids these days. Their Mybooks and Facespaces and Twatter. Just crazy.