So a little bit about me…Last year i had a long term journal over of FA which was great the support was super but things seem to have gone alittle quiet over there of late and i figure guy help was as useful as gal help so here i am going into 2010.
I’m a competative poledancer so i’ve been exercising for years but i’ve only really been weight training for the last 2. As a whole im pretty damn pleased with my progress i’ve made some significant changes in my body going from the skinny fat girl to finally someone who looks like they know what a deadlift is.
This is all well and good but over the past two years i’ve had one major sticking point … muscle or lack there of … i seem to fall into the hard gainer catagory and although i’ve had many personal trainers online and offline none of them have really managed to really guide me in the right direction to pack on some serious pounds.
This year i’ve decided to go it alone, i figure no-one knows my body as well as i do and spending endless Â£Â£Â£ on advice is all well and good but it really hasn’t given me the results i want and i figure that cash would be better served paying for protien shake.
Right now at my best guess i think my main problem boils down to lack of calories … i don’t know but it seems to me that female trainers are somewhat scared of actually getting a girl to EAT!! Maybe they think i’ll freak out if i get alittle soft???
Sure they’ve upped the calories when i bulk but never to the point where im consistantly gaining which has lead to me gaining and losing the same few pounds up and down repeatedly over the last few years which honestly is far more depressing than gaining little fat could ever be.
TBH i seem to get up to 121lb pretty quickly at the start of a bulk 4lbs of which is usually water from extra carbs then i come to a crashing halt and i just stop gaining and they never seem to think i need to perhaps up the cals.
Don’t get me wrong i’ve re-compositioned well but i just haven’t gained the 1b’s of muscle i need to prevent me looking somewhat like a crack whore the minute i drop below 15% body fat.
Anyhoo this year i figure that i know what to eat and i know how to train so it’s time to get off my ass and take responsibilty for my own progress starting with bulking!
normally i set my timescales for a bulk or cut in term’s or weeks, this year im not … this year im bulking till i get it god damn done!! i AM going to hit 130lbs this year i am going to eat and eat till it god damn well happens. When i hit 130lb’s then i’ll reassesss but im not cutting till at least i hit 130lb which i might add will be the heaviest i’ve ever been in my life… but i IS going to happen this year.
right now i have no-clue what i weigh, i was 112lb at the start of december but i spend 3 weeks in florida on holiday with my kids and i know i’ve gained some unwanted weight, my jeans tel me so but on returning i’ve found my scales are broken… doh …
oh well i’ll go the gym today and i’ll weigh there and see what the score is. At an estimation i’d guess im around 120lb’s ish which incidently most of my friends and family seem to think i look better at this weight than i do when i’m lower… personally i agree that arms, and upper torso wise i do look better but i hate what it’s done to my tummy and thigh’s … all in all i just need to gain some damn muscle so i don’t look too skinny at the lower body fat.
Onward and upward … anyway i’ve got to go i start a new job today so better get my ass in gear i’ll post my workout and food later once i’ve weighed and seen what the score is.