T Nation

Go Vegetarian! (NOT)


This make my brain hurt:



This is still floating around? I really believe that this is perpetuated by people who have never actually been outside.


Yeah, those eskimos were/are really wasting their time eating seals when there's perfectly good vegetables outside.

Oh wait.....


For some reason they never consider the reason why so many on a "Western diet" are so unhealthy is because their diet consisists primarily of grains, grain derivatives, and animal products from animals force-fed grains. I'm not sure if it was accurate or hyperbole, but I read once that an estimated 60% of Americans are Omega-3 deficient. Considering our food supply I'd be surprised if it's not higher.


F vegetarians. Pound of bacon every morning is a staple in my diet.


If you're a vegetarian family do you not breastfeed you children? Afer all, the milk is not vegetable bassed? That would be pretty shitty........



I dare say we all are, old chap. But NEVER FEAR a new diet craze is SWEEPING THE NATION!

Lose more weight than a low carb diet! Lose more weight than a vegetarian diet!! HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE??? Well my pudgy little friend, before your pancreas bursts with insulin and excitement, I will tell you.


Yes thats right friends, vegetables need dirt to grow. Animals need to eat, other animals or vegetables or both. But without DIRT you cannot survive. Powerful scientists working deep within my lair have hypothesized that dirt contains all necessary nutrients to support life.

Dirt is animal friendly, and kid safe. Dirt has a high fiber content. If you aren't convinced... here are a few testimonials from satisfied customers.

"steroids gave me brain cancer, but it definitely was not DIRT, infact I was supplementing with dirt long before I even touched a steroid"~~Lyle Alzado

SEE? If you are not yet convinced. Please send me your contact information, and a plane ticket. So that I might go to your house and force feed you a bag of dirt until you understand how incredible my dirt diet is. Then I will sleep on your couch to make sure you get the proper nutritional advice and support.


And you won't see any scientific studies to prove this either, at least not any that are federally funded. The US Grain Lobby will continue to push this propaganda because they hold a monopoly on this "cash crop".

There is nothing wrong with whole grains in our diet. But the food should be the WHOLE grain and be included as a SMALL part of a healthy diet, not the main part, IMO.


Next phase of the diet is a dirt nap.



There is no WAY you could know this without paying off someone in my organization. BLAST YOU! Fine I callenge you to a race around the world. We shall start at the patent office. The race will end in 80 days regardless. (little does yomama know, that I will only drive 10 miles out, circle back and patent dirt. Muahahahhahah*)

*all laughing is assumed to be done while twirling a mustache, most especially if the laughing is evil.


Vegetarianism, it's just stupid. Bottom line. I'll go chow down on a huge burger tonight after reading this.


i got that beat, eating a quarter chicken as i type with one hand, beef feeding was 3 hours ago.

Arc_1mpuls3, that was one of the funniest anti-vegetarian satires i have ever read.

but of course, still nothing on the breathatarians. they get by on just air you know!


I've heard that a typical caveman only ate about a "deck of cards" worth of meat a day. Time spent hunting was mostly wasted, and the female gatherers provided the vast majority of the food eaten. There are many fossilized feces that have been studied.

Omega 3's might be an issue, but the scientists doing these studies aren't stupid. They account for things like that. The main argument for eating meat is that it improves quality of life, and some people value quality of life more than longevity.


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Well now if everybody in the USA flossed, we could add 5 years to our lives, and beat the Japaneses. Also the Japanese have a much more active life style, for the average American, twirling in a chair is cardio for the day.


I know that one theory involves people eating marrow and such, but really, why the hell can't people imagine that we'd eat fish?

They are easy to catch. They happen to live in fresh water. Early mankind always lived near fresh water... otherwise, well, they'd get thirsty.

Oh, wait, fish also provide lots of omega-3's for our big brains. What a shock.


I remember watching a BBC show on early human evolution and many experts believed that modern humans came first from ocean/fresh water places, because the easy access to fish and seafood provided both iodine and omega-3, which proved pivotal in the development of bigger brains and more active metabolism, leading to Homo Sapiens.


They eat less poultry and eggs and red meat. But I bet their fish intake is off the charts. And the actual amount of soy that they eat is marginal. It's a misconecption that asians eat a lot of soy. And I'd rather die at 70 as a hulking beast grandpa than at 80 and a frail old man.


Satire? Nay good sir, I daresay you are interested in my all-dirt diet. For a mere pittance of $200 a day and a plane ticket, you can have this diet guru in your house, teaching the the ways of ancient man.

Yes I haven't done any newfangled research, or made any significant contributions to the scientific community. But what I have done is channel a neaderthal telepathically. And.. well... don't take my words for it, here is a direct quote:

"we pretty much ate dirt and stuff"~ OOG

So... ub10... I'll be needing some contact info and a little bit of seed money. Come see me after the seminar.


Now homicide and other factors unrelated to VAGetarianism couldn't possibly be at all related to the average life expectancy could it? What about alcohol and drug abuse? I would venture to say that those along with cigarettes kill more people each year than meat and are much more prevalent here than in Okinawa.

Also, most people on this site will live longer than the average person barring some unseen circumstances because we all keep ourselves in good shape and eat right.