Giving a Guy Your Phone Number Without Him Asking?

K I’m going out lmao

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I really wouldn’t beat yourself up here. This guy didn’t initiate anything, knew you had a crush on him, and never worked up the courage to display interest OR convey disinterest. I’m fine with guys being nervous, or timid, or what have you. But this is a total lack of action on this guy’s part, and despite your initial feelings for him, I hope you’ll realize that you were brave here and you deserve someone willing to be a bit brave as well - even if it was the bravery required to tell you he wasn’t looking for anything at the moment.

You can either wallow in self pity and never look for intimacy again, or you can treat this as the blessing it is - you are once again emotionally available, and you have moved on from the shithead who had a hold on you. How likely is it that the first guy you really interact with after your ex will be Mr Perfect? Not very. You’ll have to search further than that, like most of us.

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Um…where’d you go? I need to know now.

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Ok so he finally replied and invited me out at like 9 to the bar and offered to come get me, all good right,?
Well, no. He kept calling me friend and bud all night , like at every opportunity.

He did the same thing where he made it linger until 130am, but also made it clear he was going to come here with another friend, but he was too tired.
Like dont read into this invitation jenn , you’re just my second choice friend

Eh. It’s like being enamored, then finding out that there wasn’t anything to be too excited about.

I’ve done that. One woman I liked was cool and smart and beautiful until we hung out a little bit. Then slowly but surely she just got on my nerves. After a while I didn’t care where she had tattoos or how far she could…

Anyways, personality goes a long way in adulthood.

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Have I already mentioned “back up” plan?

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Sleep with his best friend, then deadlift. PIIHP

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Lol !

Right, it gets better fml
He wanted to go to the bar his friend was working out and it turned out to be a hot chick
He told me later she had a boyfriend thank God, because they made plans in front of me.

Also, I feel like he insulted my pants.

… mentioning something about how I should get Jean’s because I’ve worn gym pants twice now, and he knows that’s all I own .
I’m sorry, you could bounce quarters off my ass , I’m allowed to fucking wear gym pants on every social outing if I so choose

So to recap im epic friendzoned
He hates my gym pants
And he has plans on Wednesday with the bar tender

Did I mention I’m cursed ?
Because I’m cursed

I guess I’m just an acquired taste .

Like quinoa
Sigh

Oh and lastly just to make it even stupider
There was this awakrd moment when he dropped me off because he went to guest parking instead of just stopping near my building so I was like oh am I supposed to just say thanks bye or am I supposed to be like so want to come in?
So of course I’m like um are you tired
He said no
I said want to still hang
And he asked to do what
So then I was like ya you’re right , k bye, and then scurried off hahhaha wow

Okay. First of all you are not cursed!

The mention of the pants is a deal breaker in itself. But taking you to a bar and making plans with a chick that has a boyfriend is just plain assholish!

Sounds like a wolf in sheeps clothing.

Fuck him and move on!

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Yeah, but people who are into quinoa, like, LOVE quinoa. They’re crazy about it! So be quinoa, and find someone who is also very quinoa-y.

And personally, I like that you have a friend. He’s cooling things down - maybe permanently, maybe because he senses that you’re moving really quickly emotionally, maybe because he’s not into you that way. Just be cool, be friends, and see if it goes anywhere. He may be a good resource for figuring out what’s been going wrong for you with men if romance is off the table.

BE COOL. It’s okay. Use him as a classroom.

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Obviously not a literal fuck him, correct ?
LOL
Sorry…
You should have worded that a little differently, lmao

No! Definitely not literally! Tell him to fuck off! That better?

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I disagree on all counts except the first (not cursed).

If he’s a romantic prospect, the pants thing is controlling and rude, but if he’s styling himself your (Spock’s) buddy and has taken your dating life on as a project then it’s a different thing. Especially if you’ve verbalized “awkward” and “don’t know what I’m doing” type stuff. It does suck to hear, however, and I sympathize. I’m just not ready to call him an asshole yet.

Why? Maybe they’ve been friends since they were little kids. Maybe the boyfriend is his bestie and they all hang out. So what that she’s hot? That makes it wrong to be friends with her? Maybe she’s very cool and could be your friend, too.

(Sorry about the weird responding to CL’s post but addressing Spock. I sort of shifted to addressing Spock directly and now don’t want to go back to change it to “Spock” and “her” to address CL, as I should have been, since it’s her post. It’s all just broken now and there’s nothing I can do, lol.)

You’re overthinking it. He’s tapped the brakes, but you have no idea why. I doubt it has anything to do with the bartender, and focusing on that is something someone much younger would do. (I don’t mean to insult!) Be cool. Just keep repeating to yourself, whether with this guy or the next, “be cool.” Slow down, regulate your emotions (picture a dial that you have to turn down).

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I don’t understand what he’s done, but to move slowly and cautiously and been a new friend with what sound like decent boundaries. Why “fuck off”?

This doesnt change anything about your point , but they haven’t been friends long and he has never met her boyfriend. But I see your point

Also to add weirdness he did make random sex comments in between friendzoning me .
Like I said something about seatbelts and how they bother me on my neck and he was like oh so you’re not into choking , like woah where did that come from

ALSO, I wonder if you said something about only having workout wear and he was just sort of making conversation with the jeans thing. “Yeah, I’ve never had pineapple.” “Oh, you should try it!”