T Nation

Giving a Guy Your Phone Number Without Him Asking?


I thought I gave those cues though . I always leaned into him and I tried to sit close to him and would try to have us touching when we played video games etc.
What else is there lol


I wonder the same thing! lol

Editing to add that I wouldn’t do more than that, personally. I’m married to someone who moved slowly on the physical stuff, and as you probably know I was posting about it here. I took a lot of shit over his lack of aggression! But it all worked out.


So everybody knows everyone is at least somewhat interested at this point. Awesome! Just keep taking time to get to know each other better. I knew my girlfriend for about 2 years before we actually were “together”. We went in with a very good understanding of each other, and after nearly 6 years together, I’d say taking the time to really, really know someone is well worth it. Bear in mind 2 years is probably extreme but give it at least another month in my opinion. Just hang out with the guy.


Did he mention anything about hanging out again?


On a scale from 1-10. 1 being planned ‘hangouts’ and 10 being married with 12 kids. Don’t try to jump too many steps. Enjoy the slow process of becoming more comfortable… one day, with him or someone else, you’ll be waaay past this phase in the relationship and you’ll miss it.


No, but I guess we will see if he messages me at all this weekend.

I still think it’s a good sign on the first night I went to bed and didnt send a message he messaged me because if he wasnt interested he would have been maybe relieved I finally didn’t message lol


I just read through this whole thread and was disappointed to see you start with the second guessing and self-doubt so quickly. Relax, you’re pushing for too much too fast. Like Thirdruffian said he has a very good reason to be cautious, which is that he would probably like to keep his job.

Also, you should take everything everyone says on here with a grain of salt. Just because people give conflicting advice, or someone tells you it’s over doesn’t mean it’s time to freak out.


I guess all you can do here is give it some time and see where it goes.


My other post might read harsher than I meant it to. I think you’re doing fine, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with a woman asking a man out. I know you had a bad relationship in the past, he may have also, so be patient.


No, I didnt take your post to be harsh at all!
I am just going to try to take it all day by day, I have a hard time not dwelling on every little thing and I keep being paranoid that I am going to screw it up by one wrong word.But the reality is if it’s going to happen then it’s going to happen and if its not I shouldn’t blame myself


I think it would be best if I don’t mention hanging out again until he brings it up, yes?
Like today is Friday obviously, and i hope he asks if i have weekend plans but if he doesnt i dont think it is really a good idea for me to try to ask.him out again right now



If you want to ask him to hang out then just ask him. Don’t psyche yourself out wondering about if it’s too soon or anything like that.

If that’s what you want to do then do it. You’re just being yourself, and he’ll either like that or he won’t (and it sounds like he does so far).


Agree. He’s responded positively right along. He may not even realize that he’s leaving all the initiative to you.

Or take a break from initiating if that’s what feels right. I can understand why it would. I don’t think there’s a wrong answer here, since it’s going very nicely.

I will say that in your place I would probably pause initiating, but I will also acknowledge that it would be about my insecurities, not about the right or wrong of it.


Okay thanks guys :blush:


now may be a good time to ratchet up the heat with some tight yoga pants and mebbe a tube top?

we’re almost to the finish line, and that’ll really send him in high gear.

this is a competition, we need to all work together for the end goal!!

we’re counting on you SpokieGurl - you’re our only hope!! (star wars reference)

(you know that im kidding you, right? how do you send hearts on this thread?)





Theng - you~

I am going to pretend that you meant all of those for lil ol me~



Lol well all I own is work clothes and gym pants, so I already went full yoga pant mode last time .

Fingers crossed for me ya’ll!!


Ok well anyway I tried making small talk tonight to see if it could lead to us hanging out and of course he read it and never answered so I feel pretty stupid…
Also very sad.
Equal parts stupid and sad
Embarrassed , stupid and sad
Also mad at myself for ignoring the obvious signs

K sorry sadness ranting ///