T Nation

Girlfriends with Male Friends

You could always try chaining her up in the basement?

“Outlaw your girlfriends from having male friends”???

What is this Afghanistan or North Korea? Seriously though, if she doesn’t see that it is inappropriate to be texting, FB chatting and talking about other dudes constantly when she is in an alnogomous committed relationship then it sounds like she is immature and sucks. Save yourself the trouble and get out now before you end up marrying her or knocking her up cause then you’re on the hook.

[quote]csulli wrote:

[quote]jeep69 wrote:
I appreciate the comments, I know about putting in ground work and all, so do you outlaw your girlfriends from having male friends?
is that not controlling as shit?[/quote]
Hopefully someone else will have a better answer, but in my experience it’s a lose-lose scenario.

You’re right, the only direct solution is to be way too controlling which will create a problem in your relationship and drive her right onto another man’s dick. And the alternative is that you don’t address it and she ends up on some other dude’s dick.

The only happy solution to this problem that I know about is to find a girl who understands boundaries much, much better in the first place.[/quote]

thats a great point, finding one who understands boundaries would be great.

Well out of serious I think this video can help. You may just need to regain control and if you do this all those other guys may just disappear.

I’m the odd female out here that’s obvious but I have always been friends with more guys than girls and the idea of fucking my guy friends turns me off. I know too much about them. There was a time when i was maybe 19-25 that I would have considered it just for shits and giggles but not while in a relationship. But it’s true…guys who are friends with girls just want to peg them. Unless you’re a eunuch there’s no such thing as an easy breezy friendzone.

[quote]gregron wrote:
“Outlaw your girlfriends from having male friends”???

What is this Afghanistan or North Korea? Seriously though, if she doesn’t see that it is inappropriate to be texting, FB chatting and talking about other dudes constantly when she is in an alnogomous committed relationship then it sounds like she is immature and sucks. Save yourself the trouble and get out now before you end up marrying her or knocking her up cause then you’re on the hook.[/quote]

bingo.

[quote]theBeth wrote:
I’m the odd female out here that’s obvious but I have always been friends with more guys than girls and the idea of fucking my guy friends turns me off. I know too much about them. There was a time when i was maybe 19-25 that I would have considered it just for shits and giggles but not while in a relationship. But it’s true…guys who are friends with girls just want to peg them. Unless you’re a eunuch there’s no such thing as an easy breezy friendzone. [/quote]
See at least you’re realistic. Knowledge is power.

If you want to keep this girl around even though she shows no sign to me of respecting your feelings, or y’alls relationship, there is another option. You could start talking to one or all of the girls you mentioned at school or work that you find attractive. Don’t hide it, text her, talk to her on facebook, and bring her up around your girlfriend. Your girlfriend might react in a way that y’all can move into an open relationship. Where she can still go on ‘business trips’ with her sister and meet random new guys and fuck them (which is about a 92% chance of what really happened), and you can get strange on the side as well. Be honest with the girls you meet, and maybe you can find one that you like as much as your current girl that is opposed to fucking around while in a committed relationship and you could leave your current one for the one that better falls in line with your beliefs about a committed relationship.

Don’t try to control her. You have obviously told her how you feel (because of the fights y’all have been having) and she just really doesn’t give a shit about that. So let her be how she wants, and move on either by leaving this ‘relationship’ or by changing how you look at the boundaries of this relationship. Or you could just accept the fact that she is turning you into a cuckold

I have to admit I didn’t read the whole first post until after reading some of the comments.

Your girlfriend having guy friends is one thing, but to be on a trip out of town, meet a random guy in a situation where everything is essentially anonymous, there is zero room for consequence unless she ends up with herpes and no way for you to know anything more than she tells you, and she gives her phone number to a chance meeting and calls it a friend is off base.

A friend is someone she knew before you or someone introduced to her life on a regular basis after the fact, like at a job, and a friendly bond forms. Still leery about these situations, temptation is felt by everyone, but your girlfriend’s “friend” isn’t, and her obsession and attachment is very suspect.

He probably has a huge cock and fucked her silly with it.

She cheated once and will again, she doesn’t respect you.

Drop her like a slut.

[quote]PowWowNow wrote:
Every female friend I’ve had has evolved to some type of sexual contact.

Especially if there was an emotional attachment of some kind.

“Friends” can be a weird paradox.

I’m not talking about random associates, but genuine friends. Checking on each others well being, providing company and comfort et cetera. [/quote]

I am an anomaly. I had been able to maintain female friends that involved zero sexual contact. It’s not that they were ugly or anything like that. I just respected the friendship and never attempted to go there. So I was able to have female friends that were only friends.

[quote]pat wrote:

[quote]PowWowNow wrote:
Every female friend I’ve had has evolved to some type of sexual contact.

Especially if there was an emotional attachment of some kind.

“Friends” can be a weird paradox.

I’m not talking about random associates, but genuine friends. Checking on each others well being, providing company and comfort et cetera. [/quote]

I am an anomaly. I had been able to maintain female friends that involved zero sexual contact. It’s not that they were ugly or anything like that. I just respected the friendship and never attempted to go there. So I was able to have female friends that were only friends. [/quote]

Mmmmmhhh…

I dont know.

There seems to be a lot of keeping your dick in check going on and what do you get in return?

The fact that she has been talking about this guy “nonstop” and has been communicating with him to the extent she has could be a red flag. I would try to have a conversation with her about your concerns.

I believe men and women can sometimes be friends under certain circumstances. I think it depends on the goals of each person in the friendship. For instance, if I enter into a friendship with a guy I’m hoping for a mutual desire for company and conversation - just plain and simple companionship, nothing more.

That being said, I’ve had one close guy friend (we’ve been friends for 14 years) and it caused nothing but major headaches in my relationships! The last time we hung out was 6 years ago. Now we might talk on the phone once a year or something but that is the extent of it. A few years back my husband gave me an ultimatum, it was either him or my friend. I’m pissed that I had to sacrifice a good friendship because of my husband’s insecurities. Honestly, I resent him a little bit for it. He obviously doesn’t trust me despite the fact that I’ve never done anything to comprise the trust in our relationship. When I mention this he always gives the me copout of “it’s not you that I don’t trust, it’s him”. Yeah, right…

[quote]gregron wrote:
“Outlaw your girlfriends from having male friends”???

What is this Afghanistan or North Korea? Seriously though, if she doesn’t see that it is inappropriate to be texting, FB chatting and talking about other dudes constantly when she is in an alnogomous committed relationship then it sounds like she is immature and sucks. Save yourself the trouble and get out now before you end up marrying her or knocking her up cause then you’re on the hook.[/quote]

Ok, this fucker hit this out the park.

If you sat her down and said “Ok sweet tits this is freaking me out. Talking to a guy who banged the sister is strange to me and I’m not comfortable. This fascination you have with him” And then she gave you the old GET OVER IT, Vibe. You need to move on. REALLY. Don’t try to change her, Dont lay any smack downs. Just go.

Move on Cowboy, or stick around and wait for her to come around or tire of this guy or find another guy friend more fascinating or any of a million things that will bug the shit out of you and will drive you insane in 5-10 years.

[quote]WhiteSturgeon wrote:
The fact that she has been talking about this guy “nonstop” and has been communicating with him to the extent she has could be a red flag. I would try to have a conversation with her about your concerns.

I believe men and women can sometimes be friends under certain circumstances. I think it depends on the goals of each person in the friendship. For instance, if I enter into a friendship with a guy I’m hoping for a mutual desire for company and conversation - just plain and simple companionship, nothing more.

That being said, I’ve had one close guy friend (we’ve been friends for 14 years) and it caused nothing but major headaches in my relationships! The last time we hung out was 6 years ago. Now we might talk on the phone once a year or something but that is the extent of it. A few years back my husband gave me an ultimatum, it was either him or my friend. I’m pissed that I had to sacrifice a good friendship because of my husband’s insecurities. Honestly, I resent him a little bit for it. He obviously doesn’t trust me despite the fact that I’ve never done anything to comprise the trust in our relationship. When I mention this he always gives the me copout of “it’s not you that I don’t trust, it’s him”. Yeah, right…
[/quote]
It’s probably the general sense of human nature he doesn’t trust and not personal.

If two girls are together, either they both get fucked or one cockblocks the other from getting any.

Her sister got fucked so its safe to assume your gf did as well. Her being in constant contact with the new guy and playing stupid makes it obvious as to what happened.

Kick her to the curb and find someone hotter and younger.

[quote]PowWowNow wrote:
I have to admit I didn’t read the whole first post until after reading some of the comments.

Your girlfriend having guy friends is one thing, but to be on a trip out of town, meet a random guy in a situation where everything is essentially anonymous, there is zero room for consequence unless she ends up with herpes and no way for you to know anything more than she tells you, and she gives her phone number to a chance meeting and calls it a friend is off base.

A friend is someone she knew before you or someone introduced to her life on a regular basis after the fact, like at a job, and a friendly bond forms. Still leery about these situations, temptation is felt by everyone, but your girlfriend’s “friend” isn’t, and her obsession and attachment is very suspect.

He probably has a huge cock and fucked her silly with it.

She cheated once and will again, she doesn’t respect you.

Drop her like a slut. [/quote]

I would probably not phrase it like this, but at the same time I agree with all but the 4th paragraph, which could be true or not, who knows. The rest - yes.

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]PowWowNow wrote:
I have to admit I didn’t read the whole first post until after reading some of the comments.

Your girlfriend having guy friends is one thing, but to be on a trip out of town, meet a random guy in a situation where everything is essentially anonymous, there is zero room for consequence unless she ends up with herpes and no way for you to know anything more than she tells you, and she gives her phone number to a chance meeting and calls it a friend is off base.

A friend is someone she knew before you or someone introduced to her life on a regular basis after the fact, like at a job, and a friendly bond forms. Still leery about these situations, temptation is felt by everyone, but your girlfriend’s “friend” isn’t, and her obsession and attachment is very suspect.

He probably has a huge cock and fucked her silly with it.

She cheated once and will again, she doesn’t respect you.

Drop her like a slut. [/quote]

I would probably not phrase it like this, but at the same time I agree with all but the 4th paragraph, which could be true or not, who knows. The rest - yes.[/quote]

I think it is pretty clear at this point that he is hung like a moose and wields it with authority.

How else could he have been in a threesome with sister and girlfriend?

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]PowWowNow wrote:
I have to admit I didn’t read the whole first post until after reading some of the comments.

Your girlfriend having guy friends is one thing, but to be on a trip out of town, meet a random guy in a situation where everything is essentially anonymous, there is zero room for consequence unless she ends up with herpes and no way for you to know anything more than she tells you, and she gives her phone number to a chance meeting and calls it a friend is off base.

A friend is someone she knew before you or someone introduced to her life on a regular basis after the fact, like at a job, and a friendly bond forms. Still leery about these situations, temptation is felt by everyone, but your girlfriend’s “friend” isn’t, and her obsession and attachment is very suspect.

He probably has a huge cock and fucked her silly with it.

She cheated once and will again, she doesn’t respect you.

Drop her like a slut. [/quote]

I would probably not phrase it like this, but at the same time I agree with all but the 4th paragraph, which could be true or not, who knows. The rest - yes.[/quote]

I think it is pretty clear at this point that he is hung like a moose and wields it with authority.

How else could he have been in a threesome with sister and girlfriend?[/quote]

Hahaha!

[quote]csulli wrote:

[quote]theBeth wrote:
I’m the odd female out here that’s obvious but I have always been friends with more guys than girls and the idea of fucking my guy friends turns me off. I know too much about them. There was a time when i was maybe 19-25 that I would have considered it just for shits and giggles but not while in a relationship. But it’s true…guys who are friends with girls just want to peg them. Unless you’re a eunuch there’s no such thing as an easy breezy friendzone. [/quote]
See at least you’re realistic. Knowledge is power.[/quote]

I think this too.

[quote]WhiteSturgeon wrote:
The fact that she has been talking about this guy “nonstop” and has been communicating with him to the extent she has could be a red flag. I would try to have a conversation with her about your concerns.

I believe men and women can sometimes be friends under certain circumstances. I think it depends on the goals of each person in the friendship. For instance, if I enter into a friendship with a guy I’m hoping for a mutual desire for company and conversation - just plain and simple companionship, nothing more.

That being said, I’ve had one close guy friend (we’ve been friends for 14 years) and it caused nothing but major headaches in my relationships! The last time we hung out was 6 years ago. Now we might talk on the phone once a year or something but that is the extent of it. A few years back my husband gave me an ultimatum, it was either him or my friend. I’m pissed that I had to sacrifice a good friendship because of my husband’s insecurities. Honestly, I resent him a little bit for it. He obviously doesn’t trust me despite the fact that I’ve never done anything to comprise the trust in our relationship. When I mention this he always gives the me copout of “it’s not you that I don’t trust, it’s him”. Yeah, right…
[/quote]

Your guy buddies want more than good coffee and sentimental conversation with you Sturg. Its really adorable that you think otherwise but I’m sure they want to do other things with you. I’m censoring myself big time. I’m compelled to say it differently but then your going to ignore me.

No chance your husband was a friend before you two started going out right?