T Nation

Girlfriend Issues

Ill go by some points to make it straight and to the point:

“He who cares less wins”

I wish someone told me that when I was young little duckling chasing girls etc. Stop being a little bitch and be a man. Dont ask her, but tell her the way it has to be. If she doesnt like it then show her the door.

You be the boss. Bitches love it.

Uncle Bird.

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You asked her to ask him to stop texting. She said no. The ball was then in your court to accept it or put your foot down. Instead it sounds like you whined about it and now she’s punishing you like a child. Is that how you want this relationship to go? Whatever is left of it anyway.

You need to decide what will work for you. Either tell her she needs to cut him off or you’re done, or accept whatever it is they have between one another and stop bitching about it. Otherwise you are acting out of line.

Oh yeah, and the whole thing about him visiting her parents, LOFL. You should have encouraged it while you took her out. As if his sweet talking her parents has any chance winning her heart back. Imagine her parents telling her what a sweet boy he is and how she should have never broken up with him. Do you really think she would see the error in her ways and go running back to him? The exact opposite would occur. Some guys are very crafty with how to win a girl back. This guy’s not one of them but with your help he has an excellent chance.

He’s boning her. She’s clearly still emotionally tied and he’s using it to get his dick wet.

[quote]JoeyMicas11 wrote:
Okay, So what do you guys think. [/quote]

Sorry kid, but she’s just not into you as much as you’re into her.

That fundamental inequality almost certainly exists in most relationships, and now you’ve seen one side of it. Stay social and busy and one of your upcoming gf’s will be way more ‘into you’ than you about her, and you’ll get to see the flipside and if maybe you don’t prefer things that way. And so on. etc.

It’ll sting a bit no doubt, but you do end up wiser and then its on to tha next one…

Move on from her. I say 90% chance she’s cheating, 10% chance he really does just like her parents. Maybe less than 10%.

Don’t worry bro, the end of your first relationship ain’t the end of the world, even though it feels that way. You’ll be ok dude.

…and so it begins

with the destruction of SAMA all the whiny relationship advice gets pushed over here…

To the OP: Look chief, it’s a wonder you have a girlfriend at all. You whine to her about her ex texting her, then you whine to us about how she slapped your pansy ass in the face about the whole thing. While I don’t prescribe to the whole “he who cares least wins” mumbo jumbo, I will say this: those who do adhere to that don’t whine about stupid relationship shit on the internet; at least on this site. Only pansy asses like yourself do. Handle your shit the way you see fit. Figure it out and stop looking for guidance from strangers who couldn’t care less about YOUR bullshit problems. The only way you’ll ever learn and get good at this thing called life isn’t by asking others what they think about really insignificant bullshit but by figuring it yourself and being ballsy enough to execute with confidence.

You sound like a 16 year old girl no matter how many bullet points you present to us. It’s a stupid relationship disagreement, not a fucking business presentation. Her ex has balls, you don’t. Grow some and shut the fuck up. If you don’t like what she’s doing, you’ve communicated that to her and she still persists there’s only one thing you have left to do, and it ain’t crying on the internet about it. Man up and walk the fuck out. If she isn’t going to respect you enough to stop talking to her ex, she ain’t going to respect you. Period. And, to be honest, I can see why…

Also, next time you feel the need to flood us with your namby pamby bullshit go ask Dear Abby instead. Maybe she’ll coddle you balls and tell you you’re right the way your mother does. God damn I hate whiny pussies.

[quote]hungry4more wrote:
Move on from her. I say 90% chance she’s cheating, 10% chance he really does just like her parents. Maybe less than 10%.

Don’t worry bro, the end of your first relationship ain’t the end of the world, even though it feels that way. You’ll be ok dude. [/quote]

I remember the end of my first relationship. It is hard to understand in the moment that it isn’t the end of the world, but hey, in hindsight this is small potatoes compared to the big scheme of things.

The first girl you really like is usually the one that will hurt the most. As far as I’m concerned, your first real relationship tends to become a huge fuck up and you’ll learn a lot about your self, and women in general. A lot of things I cared about before, don’t bother me any more. A lot of things that I used to let women do, I don’t.

We are all taught that there is THE ONE (Is that you Neo?), but really, there isn’t. All women have good and bad things about them. Some women are better than others. If you meant that much to her, she would respect your wishes. You gotta find the one you like, and the one that likes you. You have to work well together. Maybe that’s the case with your girl, but it seems she also has someone else in her sights.

If a woman wants to do something, she will do it. That’s all there is to it. A woman is never too busy. If she wants to see you, she will make time. That can be said for all people. Women tend to say a lot, but the way they behave is what they really feel.

Which brings me to my point…you’re on a break?
Just an fyi, a girl that I met told her boyfriend that she wanted to go on a break. The reason she told him that was because she wanted to fuck me without the guilty conscience. That’s probably what’s going on with your girl and her ex.

That being said, guys tend to try to convince themselves that they’re worrying too much. In reality, you should trust your gut feeling. The fact that you’re willing to go online and ask a bunch of strangers what’s up is telling.
Everything you’re worried about is probably true.

Cut her loose. Tell her why, and then block her completely. Don’t apologize for it, or try to be understanding. You gave her enough warnings.

I like your guys’ points. I know I came on here whining just was confused as to what do to. But I did just drop her shit off at her house so Im thinking I took some of your guys’ advice. Lol, thanks. But yes, Chillain, I do think I was into her more than she was to me, and that my friend is a terrible fu*king feeling… On the way to forgetting lol

The fact that the HUNDREDS of posts of good advice that I gave in SAMA over the years are now lost within the bowels of cyberspace is a little depressing.

Here we go again with the tough luv… <<>>

OP, you are exhibiting a CLASSIC lack of mature boundary function, most likely arising from a lack of identity and low self esteem. You are communicating what you want in the relationship in a very childish and passive aggressive way. Your girlfriend is seeing this and is losing both attraction and respect for you. Let me guess: it was HER idea for the “break”? LMAO!!! She has effectively put you in the corner for time out like you’re a little fucking kid, dude! WTF???

My prescription is to let your balls drop, tell her to lose your number and figure out some ground rules that YOU want in your future relationships. Then once you’ve figured out what YOU want and what will make YOU happy, go out and find a girl that meets that criteria.

When you find a girl that’s kind enough to sleep with you, don’t compromise your standards or behave in ways that compromise YOUR integrity when evaluating her for a relationship (in other words, don’t lead her on and don’t lie). If she’s the type of chick that’s constantly texting other guys and that’s not something you want your “girlfriend” to be doing, then DON’T MAKE HER YOUR GIRLFRIEND, just be one of the guys she’s texting (and fucking)!

Eventually, you WILL find a girl you are very compatible with and who likes YOU the same amount that you like HER. Make THAT girl your “girlfriend”. But when you commit to someone who is less than ideal for you (and deep down, you KNOW when that’s the case) you are only doing yourself a disservice and limiting your OWN opportunities and future happiness by staying in that relationship.

Don’t be one of those weak minded fucks who just “needs” to be with someone. You’re a MAN (or at least you have the potential in every moment to act like one). Men act with courage when called to do so. Men think and act with logic and conviction. Men don’t let women “put them on time out”! LOL

LET THE BALLS DROP!

[quote]JoeyMicas11 wrote:
I like your guys’ points. I know I came on here whining just was confused as to what do to. But I did just drop her shit off at her house so Im thinking I took some of your guys’ advice. Lol, thanks. But yes, Chillain, I do think I was into her more than she was to me, and that my friend is a terrible fu*king feeling… On the way to forgetting lol[/quote]

Good for you, kid.

[quote]angry chicken wrote:
The fact that the HUNDREDS of posts of good advice that I gave in SAMA over the years are now lost within the bowels of cyberspace is a little depressing.

![/quote]

LOL! I just clicked back on this thread to lament that my thread about How to handle a breakup" (that should have been stickied) is now lost forever.

[quote]angry chicken wrote:
The fact that the HUNDREDS of posts of good advice that I gave in SAMA over the years are now lost within the bowels of cyberspace is a little depressing.

Here we go again with the tough luv… <<>>

OP, you are exhibiting a CLASSIC lack of mature boundary function, most likely arising from a lack of identity and low self esteem. You are communicating what you want in the relationship in a very childish and passive aggressive way. Your girlfriend is seeing this and is losing both attraction and respect for you. Let me guess: it was HER idea for the “break”? LMAO!!! She has effectively put you in the corner for time out like you’re a little fucking kid, dude! WTF???

My prescription is to let your balls drop, tell her to lose your number and figure out some ground rules that YOU want in your future relationships. Then once you’ve figured out what YOU want and what will make YOU happy, go out and find a girl that meets that criteria.

When you find a girl that’s kind enough to sleep with you, don’t compromise your standards or behave in ways that compromise YOUR integrity when evaluating her for a relationship (in other words, don’t lead her on and don’t lie). If she’s the type of chick that’s constantly texting other guys and that’s not something you want your “girlfriend” to be doing, then DON’T MAKE HER YOUR GIRLFRIEND, just be one of the guys she’s texting (and fucking)!

Eventually, you WILL find a girl you are very compatible with and who likes YOU the same amount that you like HER. Make THAT girl your “girlfriend”. But when you commit to someone who is less than ideal for you (and deep down, you KNOW when that’s the case) you are only doing yourself a disservice and limiting your OWN opportunities and future happiness by staying in that relationship.

Don’t be one of those weak minded fucks who just “needs” to be with someone. You’re a MAN (or at least you have the potential in every moment to act like one). Men act with courage when called to do so. Men think and act with logic and conviction. Men don’t let women “put them on time out”! LOL

LET THE BALLS DROP![/quote]

As much as it sucks those posts have been lost, most of which i read. It’s good to have some concise info.

I had the same problem with my “first” relationship. It sucked, i was a pussy bitch about it, but never again…

[quote]on edge wrote:

[quote]angry chicken wrote:
The fact that the HUNDREDS of posts of good advice that I gave in SAMA over the years are now lost within the bowels of cyberspace is a little depressing.

![/quote]

LOL! I just clicked back on this thread to lament that my thread about How to handle a breakup" (that should have been stickied) is now lost forever.[/quote]

Well, if one thing is for certain it’s this: In this age of liberal media and in a culture of emasculation and the persecution of anything not “politically correct” (as defined by women and homosexuals) and of mothers raising their sons to be “nice guys” instead of MEN, there will ALWAYS be a line of luvable losers who just need a push in the right direction from those of us on the fringe who have the balls to call it how it IS.

[quote]on edge wrote:

[quote]angry chicken wrote:
The fact that the HUNDREDS of posts of good advice that I gave in SAMA over the years are now lost within the bowels of cyberspace is a little depressing.

![/quote]

LOL! I just clicked back on this thread to lament that my thread about How to handle a breakup" (that should have been stickied) is now lost forever.[/quote]

Well… It’s not THAT lost…

http://web.archive.org/web/20100923061530/http://tnation.T-Nation.com/free_online_forum/sex_girls_pictures_hot_pics_photo_women/how_to_handle_a_breakup?

hahahha wow I got called out but it is helping out.

And Chicken, you threw some tough advice and opinion but it is true, I cant deny that lol. I definitely agree with that. But whenever I tried to say how I felt or put my foot down she’d put up some feminist views and say were in this together you cant tell me what to do or own me. You’re controlling me, even though she was the most controlling person I have ever met.

[quote]angry chicken wrote:
The fact that the HUNDREDS of posts of good advice that I gave in SAMA over the years are now lost within the bowels of cyberspace is a little depressing.[/quote]

Dude, your posts were, for me, by far the most valuable part of SAMA. You dropped some serious knowledge bombs over there. It’s a shame they’re gone.

This post was flagged by the community and is temporarily hidden.

[quote]pushharder wrote:
Illegal procedure.

These type thread are no longer allowed. SAMA is gone.[/quote]

But…

I can reference it still!!!

So not all is lost, lol