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Girl Who Has/Will Get an Eating Disorder

Right, I know this girl who is my age 17/18 that has or will develop an eating disorder.
She is completely hooked on the idea that losing weight will make her feel better about her body even though she is already 7stone - 98lbs.
I’ve told her about proper nutrition and the facades that seem to surround nutrition, weight etc.

She just wont listen and she is my friend so naturally I am pretty worried.
She eats once or twice a day, counts her calories… She will only let herself eat 1200 calories a day max.
Her new goal is to lose another 30lbs… Which obviously isn’t good.

I was wondering whether you could all post some stuff to try help me convince her to get out of this mental deathtrap - I’m sure she will be more likely to listen to most of you since your all a lot bigger and more muscular than myself.

Try talking to her friends and parents, they more people that convince her it’s a bad idea, the better.

Just keep talking to her about it - hopefully something will sink in for her.

I would also maybe try showing her that she can have a beautiful body by eating right and working out (show her pictures of fitness models/figure girls and examples of their diets) but if she is already too fargone, this might not be healthy because adding working out to not eating is a recipe for disaster.

Sad thing is, she is the only one who can change her way of thinking and all you can do is be there for her.

she’s 98 lbs and wants to lose another 30?

she needs to see a shrink

[quote]jehovasfitness wrote:
she’s 98 lbs and wants to lose another 30?

she needs to see a shrink[/quote]

My skeleton weighs 68 pounds. Is that the look she’s going for?

The best solution is to just go ahead and shoot her in the head.

Seriously, people like her are mentally off kilter. You are not going to be able to convince her that she doesn’t need to lose weight. She looks in the mirror and sees a whale.

It’s good that you are concerned and you should keep encouraging her to see a better way, but she will drag you down in this hellish abyss along with her if you aren’t careful.

People like her have serious low-self-worth issues and a skewed view of reality.

You need to involve her parents, and sometimes the only solution is to have her committed to a hospital or clinic where they deal with eating disorders. That’s no guarantee of success but it’s something.

Women with eating disorders often struggle with it their entire lives.

Or maybe, she’s just going through a phase. But probably not.

You’re a young guy with a lot to look forward to, and a good guy for being concerned. Just don’t get sucked in to what could be a years-long cycle of psychological drama. Good luck.

Eating disorders are a psychological problem. Meaning that therapy and some drugs will usually fix them.

I had a friend in high school and found later that she was bulimic. She was a beautiful, perfect bodied cheerleader and I would have never guessed it. She later told me that she did it because she could control it, and some other horseshit about being mad at her mom. Bitch is psycho and I wish I’d never met her, but my point is that you should look at what else is going on in her life.

It might not all be about looks.

Best bet is try your best to discourage her, if that doesn’t work go to the family, if that doesn’t work take her to the doc, if that doesn’t work then either leave her ass alone or the bullet trick like Xenieze said :stuck_out_tongue: lol

Gerdy

A girl I knew in high school credits me with saving her from bulimia. She was somewhat fond of drama; I think she just didn’t like the taste of vomit.

If you are sure she is hurting herself, then talk to a counselor, or someone with training for dealing with such situations. You are unlikely to be able to help her.

The fact that she keeps talking about losing weight may not have anything to do whatsoever with an eating problem. This may be her way of eliciting validation from others. By saying how overweight she is, other people either do tell her or have told her “no, you’re beautiful,” or whatever else. She may have no intention of dropping weight at all.

[quote]nidu22 wrote:

I would also maybe try showing her that she can have a beautiful body by eating right and working out (show her pictures of fitness models/figure girls and examples of their diets)

[/quote]

No no no! Do not do this! Pictures of figure girls are not realistic and just lead to more dissatisfaction. Most likely she does not see her own body correctly - I know from experience. The frustrating thing is there is little you can do, but focusing on letting her know you like her for her PERSON, not how she looks is important. Also just expressing your concern and perhaps trying to teach her about proper nutrition, focusing NOT on how to get lean but rather how to perform better in the gym and be healthy…

[quote]nephorm wrote:
A girl I knew in high school credits me with saving her from bulimia. She was somewhat fond of drama; I think she just didn’t like the taste of vomit.

If you are sure she is hurting herself, then talk to a counselor, or someone with training for dealing with such situations. You are unlikely to be able to help her.

The fact that she keeps talking about losing weight may not have anything to do whatsoever with an eating problem. This may be her way of eliciting validation from others. By saying how overweight she is, other people either do tell her or have told her “no, you’re beautiful,” or whatever else. She may have no intention of dropping weight at all.[/quote]

This could be true…A lot of times when people actually have an eating disorder they are very secretive and hide it (or at least try to). But 95lbs is pretty tiny…so either way, she sounds troubled.

[quote]sarah1 wrote:

No no no! Do not do this! Pictures of figure girls are not realistic and just lead to more dissatisfaction. Most likely she does not see her own body correctly - I know from experience. The frustrating thing is there is little you can do, but focusing on letting her know you like her for her PERSON, not how she looks is important. Also just expressing your concern and perhaps trying to teach her about proper nutrition, focusing NOT on how to get lean but rather how to perform better in the gym and be healthy…
[/quote]

True enough. Not everyone has the devotion and drive to achieve that look…I was just thinking of ways he could shift her focus from food to fitness.

If she has a true eating disorder, there’s nothing you can say that will convince her otherwise. It’s not a matter of convincing IMO.

For my friend with anorexia, all the talk therapy was useless or worse; it was not until they got her on an SSRI that she would or could eat again. Therefore, I would recommend she see a competent and experienced psychiatrist.

I also believe that there should be NO emphasis on appearance when talking to a person who suffers from this. For example, it would be a big mistake to talk about a healthier or better way to lose weight. She would not care about better or healthier; in her view, the fastest way would be the best. It would be a big mistake to show pictures of ANYONE to compare herself to. If she thought figure competitors looked good, I doubt she’d be wanting to lose 30 lbs. If she sees a picture of someone even skinnier than she, she’ll want to lose even more. So you can’t win with the body image thing.

If this were my friend, I would show her the effects of very low calorie diets and fat loss (such as the Minnesota starvation experiment I have discussed in another thread). However, I would not expect it to convince her, based on previous experience. My friend, for example, was very bright and had already researched and discovered all the bad physiological effects of anorexia before we even realized it was a problem.

If she’s eating 1200 calories a day, that’s not bad. If she were my friend, I would push pretty hard for her to see a psychiatrist NOW. If she can be treated or redirected when she’s still eating, that would be great. If she drops to 80 lbs and is eating an average of 200 calories a day, and running for hours, it becomes impossible to eat. At that point, she would have to be hospitalized and receive calories intravenously to save her life.

Not be be depressing but if she really has an eating disorder then say what you have to say but dont get too involved with it.
I made that mistake and I ended up getting depressed.

Like andersons said… 1200 calories a day still isnt too bad… The girl I know would sometimes not eat anything all day. Maybe some celary and then a ton of water.
The sad thing is she looked good before. And now everything has gone away. She has no ass. Her tits are almost nothing and just saggy (which is why she is buying fake tits)…

The girl I know is my best friend and I’ve just given up on her. I dont talk about it anymore and she doesnt talk to me about it.

Annaerobic wrote this in another forum:

"As a former anorexic (recovered for almost two years now), the best advice I can give to you is to explain metabolism to her, not nutrition. Anorexic warps your mindset in a really scary way, and people with eating disorders equate anything that has calories as the enemy- no matter how “good” those calories may be.

I know that one of the very first things that motivated me to overcoming anorexia was finding out about the lasting effects it has on metabolism.

After about 4-5 months my weight loss plateaued and I freaked out; I was already eating a measly 200-300 calories a day, drinking loads of water AND taking diet pills, and I didn’t know what else more I could DO.

So I googled anorexia and read a few pages on the effect it has on your body, and frankly, it scared and confused the shit out of me.

Thankfully, I’m a different sort of perfectionist than most anorexics, and I just decided, “I’m going to learn to do this shit RIGHT”… and I’ve been eating like a true T-Nation gal since.

An important fact to stress that worked wonders on me was how metabolism adjusts downward. Eventually there’s nowhere to go and you STILL don’t lose weight. This means it’s going to have huge repercussions on “long term weight loss”. You’ll feel horrible saying that to her, but to break through, you’re going to need to speak her language.

Best of luck with this, it’s a tough situation."

I don’t know if that may help you, I’ve never had any sort of eating issues, but what she says seems to make sense.

[quote]andersons wrote:
If she has a true eating disorder, there’s nothing you can say that will convince her otherwise. It’s not a matter of convincing IMO.

For my friend with anorexia, all the talk therapy was useless or worse; it was not until they got her on an SSRI that she would or could eat again. Therefore, I would recommend she see a competent and experienced psychiatrist.

I also believe that there should be NO emphasis on appearance when talking to a person who suffers from this. For example, it would be a big mistake to talk about a healthier or better way to lose weight.

She would not care about better or healthier; in her view, the fastest way would be the best. It would be a big mistake to show pictures of ANYONE to compare herself to. If she thought figure competitors looked good, I doubt she’d be wanting to lose 30 lbs. If she sees a picture of someone even skinnier than she, she’ll want to lose even more. So you can’t win with the body image thing.

If this were my friend, I would show her the effects of very low calorie diets and fat loss (such as the Minnesota starvation experiment I have discussed in another thread).

However, I would not expect it to convince her, based on previous experience. My friend, for example, was very bright and had already researched and discovered all the bad physiological effects of anorexia before we even realized it was a problem.

If she’s eating 1200 calories a day, that’s not bad. If she were my friend, I would push pretty hard for her to see a psychiatrist NOW. If she can be treated or redirected when she’s still eating, that would be great.

If she drops to 80 lbs and is eating an average of 200 calories a day, and running for hours, it becomes impossible to eat. At that point, she would have to be hospitalized and receive calories intravenously to save her life.[/quote]

Good post.