T Nation

Girl Trubs


#1

Alright, so I met this girl and we hit it off great. Even though she's a bit odd, I really like her for some reason. Just felt a really good connection. And I'm 100% sure she felt the same way.

Whereas before she was texting/calling me all the time, she abruptly stopped and won't answer my texts (well... text lol) either. And I've got a pretty good suspicion why.

I have a 2 year old son which I never told her about. I never lied about it, and I wouldn't, either. It just never came up and I didn't volunteer it. There's a pretty high probability she found out about it, so I'm thinking she's pretty pissed.

Any chance of salvaging this?


#2

Probably not. If she’s gonna cut all contact based on that, she’s probably not someone you wanna be with anyway.

However, if you get the chance, PIIHB.


#3

She might just not be into you, yeah can’t force these things. Just don’t GPS her car or disappear after people start giving you advice.


#4

[quote]Apoklyps wrote:
Alright, so I met this girl and we hit it off great. Even though she’s a bit odd, I really like her for some reason. Just felt a really good connection. And I’m 100% sure she felt the same way.

Whereas before she was texting/calling me all the time, she abruptly stopped and won’t answer my texts (well… text lol) either. And I’ve got a pretty good suspicion why.

I have a 2 year old son which I never told her about. I never lied about it, and I wouldn’t, either. It just never came up and I didn’t volunteer it. There’s a pretty high probability she found out about it, so I’m thinking she’s pretty pissed.

Any chance of salvaging this?[/quote]

How do you think she found out? If shes interested enough in you she will get back in touch with you, I just wouldn’t do too much pursuing at this point.


#5

Happens to me all the time when they find out I have a kid.

But seriously, if she isn’t mature enough to communicate about it then why bother with her? Communication between partners/lovers is like, wicked important n stuff. Give it some time bro, don’t play her head game just wait it out.

Or
-she’s got some other shit going on that she’s dealing with
-abruptly lost interest or got interested in someone else
-is actually pissed about what you mentioned and is grudging about it because she’s insecure.
-something happened to her phone ( I’m bad at maintaining the structural integrity of my phone - if she’s a clutz like me this is entirely possible, however if i really dig someone i’ll find a way to get in touch and explain)


#6

[quote]theBeth wrote:
Happens to me all the time when they find out I have a kid.
[/quote]

You should see how fast most women run when I tell them I have 9.

[quote]theBeth wrote:
But seriously, if she isn’t mature enough to communicate about it then why bother with her? Communication between partners/lovers is like, wicked important n stuff. Give it some time bro, don’t play her head game just wait it out.

Or
-she’s got some other shit going on that she’s dealing with
-abruptly lost interest or got interested in someone else
-is actually pissed about what you mentioned and is grudging about it because she’s insecure.
-something happened to her phone ( I’m bad at maintaining the structural integrity of my phone - if she’s a clutz like me this is entirely possible, however if i really dig someone i’ll find a way to get in touch and explain)[/quote]

This.

Give it time and see what happens.


#7

[quote]2busy wrote:

[quote]theBeth wrote:
Happens to me all the time when they find out I have a kid.
[/quote]

You should see how fast most women run when I tell them I have 9.

[quote]theBeth wrote:
But seriously, if she isn’t mature enough to communicate about it then why bother with her? Communication between partners/lovers is like, wicked important n stuff. Give it some time bro, don’t play her head game just wait it out.

Or
-she’s got some other shit going on that she’s dealing with
-abruptly lost interest or got interested in someone else
-is actually pissed about what you mentioned and is grudging about it because she’s insecure.
-something happened to her phone ( I’m bad at maintaining the structural integrity of my phone - if she’s a clutz like me this is entirely possible, however if i really dig someone i’ll find a way to get in touch and explain)[/quote]

This.

Give it time and see what happens. [/quote]

Wow what are the ages? You have some really motile sperm. giggity.

Unless you adopted most of them?


#8

[quote]theBeth wrote:

[quote]2busy wrote:

[quote]theBeth wrote:
Happens to me all the time when they find out I have a kid.
[/quote]

You should see how fast most women run when I tell them I have 9.

[quote]theBeth wrote:
But seriously, if she isn’t mature enough to communicate about it then why bother with her? Communication between partners/lovers is like, wicked important n stuff. Give it some time bro, don’t play her head game just wait it out.

Or
-she’s got some other shit going on that she’s dealing with
-abruptly lost interest or got interested in someone else
-is actually pissed about what you mentioned and is grudging about it because she’s insecure.
-something happened to her phone ( I’m bad at maintaining the structural integrity of my phone - if she’s a clutz like me this is entirely possible, however if i really dig someone i’ll find a way to get in touch and explain)[/quote]

This.

Give it time and see what happens. [/quote]

Wow what are the ages? You have some really motile sperm. giggity.

Unless you adopted most of them?[/quote]

All biologically mine. One mother. Ages 23 to 5.

Motile sperm, lol. Yes. I apparently had that.


#9

[quote]bdocksaints75 wrote:
She might just not be into you, yeah can’t force these things. Just don’t GPS her car or disappear after people start giving you advice.[/quote]

Apoklyps, GPS is a must. This isn’t exactly a situation of much gravity. Girls lose interest for millions of reasons all the time and you have practically zero invested in her. If a girl was dropping you after two years there would be reason to reach out to the TN community but there hasn’t even been a date in this case. Just why should we care?

Additionally it’s not that controversial of a topic. My opinion is it’s more of a turn off to a guy when he finds out a girl has a kid than it is when a girl finds out a guy has a kid* but it’s still not exactly rocket science that a kid to some degree decreases the available dating pool.

So, get a GPS, stick it under her car, maybe one in her purse, and lets make this interesting.

*I think it should actually be the opposite. There are guys out there who should look at a girl with a kid as an opportunity to upgrade to a league they can’t normally play in. In other words, a kid gives Joe Average a chance to get with Miss Superbabe.


#10

[quote]Apoklyps wrote:
Alright, so I met this girl and we hit it off great. Even though she’s a bit odd, I really like her for some reason. Just felt a really good connection. And I’m 100% sure she felt the same way.

Whereas before she was texting/calling me all the time, she abruptly stopped and won’t answer my texts (well… text lol) either. And I’ve got a pretty good suspicion why.

I have a 2 year old son which I never told her about. I never lied about it, and I wouldn’t, either. It just never came up and I didn’t volunteer it. There’s a pretty high probability she found out about it, so I’m thinking she’s pretty pissed.

Any chance of salvaging this?[/quote]

Is the girl Mr. Walkaway?


#11

[quote]Prof wrote:

[quote]Apoklyps wrote:
Alright, so I met this girl and we hit it off great. Even though she’s a bit odd, I really like her for some reason. Just felt a really good connection. And I’m 100% sure she felt the same way.

Whereas before she was texting/calling me all the time, she abruptly stopped and won’t answer my texts (well… text lol) either. And I’ve got a pretty good suspicion why.

I have a 2 year old son which I never told her about. I never lied about it, and I wouldn’t, either. It just never came up and I didn’t volunteer it. There’s a pretty high probability she found out about it, so I’m thinking she’s pretty pissed.

Any chance of salvaging this?[/quote]

Is the girl Mr. Walkaway?[/quote]

Actually its captainoblivious


#12

Depends how long u have been talking and what ur normal convos were about

if u have been talking longer than 3 months and not once mentioned u have a kid then she probs thinks ur shady

if its like two weeks u have known her then hey big deal its not a long time friend u are losing :smiley:

either way she sounds immature to not even say why.


#13

[quote]theBeth wrote:

[quote]Prof wrote:

[quote]Apoklyps wrote:
Alright, so I met this girl and we hit it off great. Even though she’s a bit odd, I really like her for some reason. Just felt a really good connection. And I’m 100% sure she felt the same way.

Whereas before she was texting/calling me all the time, she abruptly stopped and won’t answer my texts (well… text lol) either. And I’ve got a pretty good suspicion why.

I have a 2 year old son which I never told her about. I never lied about it, and I wouldn’t, either. It just never came up and I didn’t volunteer it. There’s a pretty high probability she found out about it, so I’m thinking she’s pretty pissed.

Any chance of salvaging this?[/quote]

Is the girl Mr. Walkaway?[/quote]

Actually its captainoblivious[/quote]

It’s a pussy move to run smack on Captainoblivious. If you’re going to run smack on someone it should be someone who might actually be aware you are running smack on them. Captainoblivious never will, because, you know, he is oblivious.


#14

[quote]on edge wrote:

[quote]theBeth wrote:

[quote]Prof wrote:

[quote]Apoklyps wrote:
Alright, so I met this girl and we hit it off great. Even though she’s a bit odd, I really like her for some reason. Just felt a really good connection. And I’m 100% sure she felt the same way.

Whereas before she was texting/calling me all the time, she abruptly stopped and won’t answer my texts (well… text lol) either. And I’ve got a pretty good suspicion why.

I have a 2 year old son which I never told her about. I never lied about it, and I wouldn’t, either. It just never came up and I didn’t volunteer it. There’s a pretty high probability she found out about it, so I’m thinking she’s pretty pissed.

Any chance of salvaging this?[/quote]

Is the girl Mr. Walkaway?[/quote]

Actually its captainoblivious[/quote]

It’s a pussy move to run smack on Captainoblivious. If you’re going to run smack on someone it should be someone who might actually be aware you are running smack on them. Captainoblivious never will, because, you know, he is oblivious.
[/quote]

Well i do have a pussy. Which means i’m prone to douchebag snarkery.


#15

[quote]cstratton2 wrote:

[quote]Apoklyps wrote:
Alright, so I met this girl and we hit it off great. Even though she’s a bit odd, I really like her for some reason. Just felt a really good connection. And I’m 100% sure she felt the same way.

Whereas before she was texting/calling me all the time, she abruptly stopped and won’t answer my texts (well… text lol) either. And I’ve got a pretty good suspicion why.

I have a 2 year old son which I never told her about. I never lied about it, and I wouldn’t, either. It just never came up and I didn’t volunteer it. There’s a pretty high probability she found out about it, so I’m thinking she’s pretty pissed.

Any chance of salvaging this?[/quote]

How do you think she found out? If shes interested enough in you she will get back in touch with you, I just wouldn’t do too much pursuing at this point.
[/quote]

She stopped talking to me after bragging about me and showing pics of me to her friends. She, her friends, and I are all Greeks (yeah I can be T-Nation’s resident douchey fratboy lol). She had mentioned that one of her friends knew me from before.

I’ve been a Greek a bit longer than she has, and I’ve been out of the community for awhile. But back in the day, everybody in the Greek community knew me as “the guy with the kid”. I’ve been a fratboy long enough to know how much Greeks gossip, so I’d say it’s pretty much a given.

@on edge:

You’re correct. I don’t have anything invested. It’s not like I’m new to being rejected for being a father, so it’s nothing personal.

Perhaps my initial post came off a bit more whiny/angsty/beta than what I meant. I just wanted to know if I should bother trying to invest the effort to continue or just move on to the next one. Or even better, for the single people with kids on here, what you’ve found to be the best time/way to broach the subject of having a kid in general. I’ve experimented with a lot of strategies, but with limited success.

Maybe this isn’t as deserving of a thread as others, but I hardly think it’s worse than the giving up on women one.


#16

[quote]Apoklyps wrote:
Alright, so I met this girl and we hit it off great. Even though she’s a bit odd, I really like her for some reason. Just felt a really good connection. And I’m 100% sure she felt the same way.

Whereas before she was texting/calling me all the time, she abruptly stopped and won’t answer my texts (well… text lol) either.[/quote]

Have you tried actually calling her, not just texting?

Something as simple as:
“Hey, want to go grab coffee later today?”
“I can’t”
“How about later this week? When’s good for you?”
“Eh, I don’t know”
“Oh, what’s up?”

… will usually give you enough information to make a decision one way or another. She’ll either get uncomfortable with you asking that question, she’ll be honest with you, or she’ll make up some excuse. If she gets uncomfortable, move on; if she makes some excuse, move on; if she’s honest with you, then maybe you have a chance.

If you get voicemail, you can basically just ask the same thing (i.e., ask her to grab coffee). If she calls/texts back, you have your answer. If she doesn’t, you have your answer.


#17

[quote]Prof wrote:

[quote]Apoklyps wrote:
Alright, so I met this girl and we hit it off great. Even though she’s a bit odd, I really like her for some reason. Just felt a really good connection. And I’m 100% sure she felt the same way.

Whereas before she was texting/calling me all the time, she abruptly stopped and won’t answer my texts (well… text lol) either. And I’ve got a pretty good suspicion why.

I have a 2 year old son which I never told her about. I never lied about it, and I wouldn’t, either. It just never came up and I didn’t volunteer it. There’s a pretty high probability she found out about it, so I’m thinking she’s pretty pissed.

Any chance of salvaging this?[/quote]

Is the girl Mr. Walkaway?[/quote]

Lol nah, Walkway’s not my type.

I don’t deal with girls who don’t put out.


#18

This post was flagged by the community and is temporarily hidden.


#19

[quote]Apoklyps wrote:

[quote]cstratton2 wrote:

[quote]Apoklyps wrote:
Alright, so I met this girl and we hit it off great. Even though she’s a bit odd, I really like her for some reason. Just felt a really good connection. And I’m 100% sure she felt the same way.

Whereas before she was texting/calling me all the time, she abruptly stopped and won’t answer my texts (well… text lol) either. And I’ve got a pretty good suspicion why.

I have a 2 year old son which I never told her about. I never lied about it, and I wouldn’t, either. It just never came up and I didn’t volunteer it. There’s a pretty high probability she found out about it, so I’m thinking she’s pretty pissed.

Any chance of salvaging this?[/quote]

How do you think she found out? If shes interested enough in you she will get back in touch with you, I just wouldn’t do too much pursuing at this point.
[/quote]

She stopped talking to me after bragging about me and showing pics of me to her friends. She, her friends, and I are all Greeks (yeah I can be T-Nation’s resident douchey fratboy lol). She had mentioned that one of her friends knew me from before.

I’ve been a Greek a bit longer than she has, and I’ve been out of the community for awhile. But back in the day, everybody in the Greek community knew me as “the guy with the kid”. I’ve been a fratboy long enough to know how much Greeks gossip, so I’d say it’s pretty much a given.

@on edge:

You’re correct. I don’t have anything invested. It’s not like I’m new to being rejected for being a father, so it’s nothing personal.

Perhaps my initial post came off a bit more whiny/angsty/beta than what I meant. I just wanted to know if I should bother trying to invest the effort to continue or just move on to the next one. Or even better, for the single people with kids on here, what you’ve found to be the best time/way to broach the subject of having a kid in general. I’ve experimented with a lot of strategies, but with limited success.

Maybe this isn’t as deserving of a thread as others, but I hardly think it’s worse than the giving up on women one.[/quote]

Ehh You’re putting too much thought into this. Just drop a GPS in her purse and lets get on with it.


#20

Out of curiosity to the single parents out there trying to date. If they don’t ask you if you have kids and you don’t volunteer the information to them, when do you tell them you have a child? I’m just wondering because I have dated two girls with kids before and both of them told me right away they had a son, which I didn’t mind at all.