Gettting a Massage & Farting

[quote]DoubleDuce wrote:
I hate it when girls get mad at me for burping. There is gas in there and it is coming out one way or another, pick an end.

[/quote]

Guys burp around each other and don’t even think anything of it…other than giving each other props if they happen to stretch one of those bastards out for several seconds.

Rootbeer is the key to winning every time.

If you needed to fart during the massage, but failed to pull the chord - you didn’t need to fart that bad to begin with.

There’s “I could fart if a want to” and then there’s “I’m farting”. There is no such thing as “I have to fart”.

[quote]Professor X wrote:
DoubleDuce wrote:
I hate it when girls get mad at me for burping. There is gas in there and it is coming out one way or another, pick an end.

Guys burp around each other and don’t even think anything of it…other than giving each other props if they happen to stretch one of those bastards out for several seconds.

Rootbeer is the key to winning every time.[/quote]

Warm Dr. Pepper, my friend. It beats the shit out of rootbeer burps.

Well - that’s for belches. I don’t know from burps.

[quote]rainjack wrote:
Professor X wrote:
DoubleDuce wrote:
I hate it when girls get mad at me for burping. There is gas in there and it is coming out one way or another, pick an end.

Guys burp around each other and don’t even think anything of it…other than giving each other props if they happen to stretch one of those bastards out for several seconds.

Rootbeer is the key to winning every time.

Warm Dr. Pepper, my friend. It beats the shit out of rootbeer burps.

Well - that’s for belches. I don’t know from burps. [/quote]

Dude, a cold BARQ’s root beer will beat your warm Dr. Pepper any day of the week.

Warm Dr Pepper = “wimpy burp”

Cold Barq’s = “Holy shit, what was that?!!”

[quote]Professor X wrote:
rainjack wrote:
Professor X wrote:
DoubleDuce wrote:
I hate it when girls get mad at me for burping. There is gas in there and it is coming out one way or another, pick an end.

Guys burp around each other and don’t even think anything of it…other than giving each other props if they happen to stretch one of those bastards out for several seconds.

Rootbeer is the key to winning every time.

Warm Dr. Pepper, my friend. It beats the shit out of rootbeer burps.

Well - that’s for belches. I don’t know from burps.

Dude, a cold BARQ’s root beer will beat your warm Dr. Pepper any day of the week.

Warm Dr Pepper = “wimpy burp”

Cold Barq’s = “Holy shit, what was that?!!”[/quote]

I don’t want to get off subject, but IBC > Barq’s

[quote]Professor X wrote:
rainjack wrote:
Professor X wrote:
DoubleDuce wrote:
I hate it when girls get mad at me for burping. There is gas in there and it is coming out one way or another, pick an end.

Guys burp around each other and don’t even think anything of it…other than giving each other props if they happen to stretch one of those bastards out for several seconds.

Rootbeer is the key to winning every time.

Warm Dr. Pepper, my friend. It beats the shit out of rootbeer burps.

Well - that’s for belches. I don’t know from burps.

Dude, a cold BARQ’s root beer will beat your warm Dr. Pepper any day of the week.

Warm Dr Pepper = “wimpy burp”

Cold Barq’s = “Holy shit, what was that?!!”[/quote]

You telling me what makes a good burp is like me going up to Ronnie and telling his squat form sucks.

We just had to replace the window over the kitchen sink because I took a sip of warm DP and accidentally burped the day after Christmas.

Your outta your league.

[quote]DoubleDuce wrote:
Professor X wrote:
rainjack wrote:
Professor X wrote:
DoubleDuce wrote:
I hate it when girls get mad at me for burping. There is gas in there and it is coming out one way or another, pick an end.

Guys burp around each other and don’t even think anything of it…other than giving each other props if they happen to stretch one of those bastards out for several seconds.

Rootbeer is the key to winning every time.

Warm Dr. Pepper, my friend. It beats the shit out of rootbeer burps.

Well - that’s for belches. I don’t know from burps.

Dude, a cold BARQ’s root beer will beat your warm Dr. Pepper any day of the week.

Warm Dr Pepper = “wimpy burp”

Cold Barq’s = “Holy shit, what was that?!!”

I don’t want to get off subject, but IBC > Barq’s

[/quote]

I’ll have to test that. I won’t believe it just yet.

[quote]rainjack wrote:
Professor X wrote:
rainjack wrote:
Professor X wrote:
DoubleDuce wrote:
I hate it when girls get mad at me for burping. There is gas in there and it is coming out one way or another, pick an end.

Guys burp around each other and don’t even think anything of it…other than giving each other props if they happen to stretch one of those bastards out for several seconds.

Rootbeer is the key to winning every time.

Warm Dr. Pepper, my friend. It beats the shit out of rootbeer burps.

Well - that’s for belches. I don’t know from burps.

Dude, a cold BARQ’s root beer will beat your warm Dr. Pepper any day of the week.

Warm Dr Pepper = “wimpy burp”

Cold Barq’s = “Holy shit, what was that?!!”

You telling me what makes a good burp is like me going up to Ronnie and telling his squat form sucks.

We just had to replace the window over the kitchen sink because I took a sip of warm DP and accidentally burped the day after Christmas.

Your outta your league.

[/quote]

I can make little children cry with one single burp.

I can open locked doors just from the vibration.

I can unhook bra straps from across the room with one deep sip.

Forgive him, Barq’s, for he knows not what he says.

One window? LOL!!!

Remember that hurricane that came through Texas and knocked out the electricity for weeks? That was NO hurricane.

I knew this one would be good.

[quote]DoubleDuce wrote:

I don’t want to get off subject, but IBC > Barq’s

[/quote]

I’ll second that. IBC makes the best floats too. Shit… Now I want one. Guess who’s going to the store in 20 minutes for some ice cream and IBC!

That’s right baby. ME! Maybe a Red Baron pizza too.

[quote]Professor X wrote:
rainjack wrote:
Professor X wrote:
rainjack wrote:
Professor X wrote:
DoubleDuce wrote:
I hate it when girls get mad at me for burping. There is gas in there and it is coming out one way or another, pick an end.

Guys burp around each other and don’t even think anything of it…other than giving each other props if they happen to stretch one of those bastards out for several seconds.

Rootbeer is the key to winning every time.

Warm Dr. Pepper, my friend. It beats the shit out of rootbeer burps.

Well - that’s for belches. I don’t know from burps.

Dude, a cold BARQ’s root beer will beat your warm Dr. Pepper any day of the week.

Warm Dr Pepper = “wimpy burp”

Cold Barq’s = “Holy shit, what was that?!!”

You telling me what makes a good burp is like me going up to Ronnie and telling his squat form sucks.

We just had to replace the window over the kitchen sink because I took a sip of warm DP and accidentally burped the day after Christmas.

Your outta your league.

I can make little children cry with one single burp.

I can open locked doors just from the vibration.

I can unhook bra straps from across the room with one deep sip.

Forgive him, Barq’s, for he knows not what he says.

One window? LOL!!!

Remember that hurricane that came through Texas and knocked out the electricity for weeks? That was NO hurricane.[/quote]

Dude - that was an accidental burp. One swallow of warm DP and basically exhaling.

At least you know the power of your burps. I have to be flown out to the Nevada Desert in a huge vacuum-tube-thingy if I have more than 2 swallows.

Hurricanes? And all it did was knock out a few electric lines?

They let you live in a metropolis. That should tell you something right there. You think I live in BFE because I WANT to? There is a reason you can drive for 100 miles in any direction from my house before seeing a town: it spares the lives of millions of innocent people.

Your thread title is misleading.

I came in here expecting a good story about farting while getting a massage only to discover that no farting actually occurred. It’s kind of disappointing.

BRock and BBB,

What, no ‘happy ending’?? or is that another thread…?

[quote]rainjack wrote:
Professor X wrote:
rainjack wrote:
Professor X wrote:
rainjack wrote:
Professor X wrote:
DoubleDuce wrote:
I hate it when girls get mad at me for burping. There is gas in there and it is coming out one way or another, pick an end.

Guys burp around each other and don’t even think anything of it…other than giving each other props if they happen to stretch one of those bastards out for several seconds.

Rootbeer is the key to winning every time.

Warm Dr. Pepper, my friend. It beats the shit out of rootbeer burps.

Well - that’s for belches. I don’t know from burps.

Dude, a cold BARQ’s root beer will beat your warm Dr. Pepper any day of the week.

Warm Dr Pepper = “wimpy burp”

Cold Barq’s = “Holy shit, what was that?!!”

You telling me what makes a good burp is like me going up to Ronnie and telling his squat form sucks.

We just had to replace the window over the kitchen sink because I took a sip of warm DP and accidentally burped the day after Christmas.

Your outta your league.

I can make little children cry with one single burp.

I can open locked doors just from the vibration.

I can unhook bra straps from across the room with one deep sip.

Forgive him, Barq’s, for he knows not what he says.

One window? LOL!!!

Remember that hurricane that came through Texas and knocked out the electricity for weeks? That was NO hurricane.

Dude - that was an accidental burp. One swallow of warm DP and basically exhaling.

At least you know the power of your burps. I have to be flown out to the Nevada Desert in a huge vacuum-tube-thingy if I have more than 2 swallows.

Hurricanes? And all it did was knock out a few electric lines?

They let you live in a metropolis. That should tell you something right there. You think I live in BFE because I WANT to? There is a reason you can drive for 100 miles in any direction from my house before seeing a town: it spares the lives of millions of innocent people.

[/quote]

Quarantined to BFE because of burp power?

LOL!!!

I think this is calling for a BURP OFF.

Ever since I discovered the flammability of a fart, I never hold them in.

[quote]Professor X wrote:
rainjack wrote:
Professor X wrote:
rainjack wrote:
Professor X wrote:
rainjack wrote:
Professor X wrote:
DoubleDuce wrote:
I hate it when girls get mad at me for burping. There is gas in there and it is coming out one way or another, pick an end.

Guys burp around each other and don’t even think anything of it…other than giving each other props if they happen to stretch one of those bastards out for several seconds.

Rootbeer is the key to winning every time.

Warm Dr. Pepper, my friend. It beats the shit out of rootbeer burps.

Well - that’s for belches. I don’t know from burps.

Dude, a cold BARQ’s root beer will beat your warm Dr. Pepper any day of the week.

Warm Dr Pepper = “wimpy burp”

Cold Barq’s = “Holy shit, what was that?!!”

You telling me what makes a good burp is like me going up to Ronnie and telling his squat form sucks.

We just had to replace the window over the kitchen sink because I took a sip of warm DP and accidentally burped the day after Christmas.

Your outta your league.

I can make little children cry with one single burp.

I can open locked doors just from the vibration.

I can unhook bra straps from across the room with one deep sip.

Forgive him, Barq’s, for he knows not what he says.

One window? LOL!!!

Remember that hurricane that came through Texas and knocked out the electricity for weeks? That was NO hurricane.

Dude - that was an accidental burp. One swallow of warm DP and basically exhaling.

At least you know the power of your burps. I have to be flown out to the Nevada Desert in a huge vacuum-tube-thingy if I have more than 2 swallows.

Hurricanes? And all it did was knock out a few electric lines?

They let you live in a metropolis. That should tell you something right there. You think I live in BFE because I WANT to? There is a reason you can drive for 100 miles in any direction from my house before seeing a town: it spares the lives of millions of innocent people.

Quarantined to BFE because of burp power?

LOL!!!

I think this is calling for a BURP OFF.[/quote]

But that won’t determine who can literally piss farther?

[quote]DoubleDuce wrote:

But that won’t determine who can literally piss farther?[/quote]

A piss off?

That’s gayer than Marvin.

[quote]Professor X wrote:
DoubleDuce wrote:

But that won’t determine who can literally piss farther?

A piss off?

That’s gayer than Marvin.[/quote]

And figurative ones are less gay?

I find that the more a guy brags, the more insecure he is in his own abilities. I don’t think you or rainjack could tell the difference between a good burp and a kat’s meow, much less preform one.

Besides, “soda” or “pop” burps are for children, man burps come from cheap beer. Miller light works best for me. Go to your local bar, get a 7 dollar pitcher of miller light, and drink till you discover how a man burps.

God I love this thread XD