T Nation

Getting the Girlfriend Going


Hey all! I was wondering if anyone have any suggestions for me about how to get my girlfriend to start going to the gym with me? The thing is she?s really serious about it (she allways is when it comes to sports or anything closely related to the body) but I dont have a clue how to get her hooked on it. Yeah I know, if shes serious she will stick with it but I want her to enjoy it to:P I tried to find a article I read about going to the gym with your girlfriend (or it may have been a post) but I cant seem to find it. Any suggestions for a program I can get her started on would be great and make my life easier:)! Oh, she likes cardio(?) to, so I know she`ll want to go for a run 1-2 times a week.


Tell her she's fat. Trust me.


hahahaha. I dont know if thats the best way to go about it, but it might work. Might get you kicked in the balls, too.


Do you plan to actually train with her? I know some people who do this, but more often than not it doesn't seem to work out. Here's a few suggestions that have worked for me in working with and designing programs for my girlfriend...

  1. Keep things moving. Incoporate supersets or giant sets so she's not spending over an hour in the gym, waiting 2 minutes between sets. Boredom can set in fast.

  2. Ensure that her form is good and safe, but keep the nitpicking to a minimum. I evaluate my girlfriend's form on new exercises she hasn't done until I'm sure she's got it down, then I leave her alone.

  3. I still rely primarily on compound movements and even have her go heavy (sets of 5-6) every once in a while, but also use some isolation stuff with high reps. Especially done as a superset or giant set, these satisfy the "toning" mindset and sneak in some extra cardio work, too.

  4. If you two will be at the gym at the same time, give each other space when you train. But after you two train, have a fun 20-30 minutes time. If you guys work out at a commercial style health club, you could hit the hot tub, swim a little, shoot some hoops, whatever. Good times. Just play.

  5. Overall, keep it simple. Don't go into I'm-talking-to-my-fellow-male-gym-rats style rants and lectures. Keep info to a minimum, and wait for her to ask questions.

Hope that helps! Good luck!


make a comment bout her ass... :smiley:


good points all.

I am currently introducing my GF to weight training. I think the main thing to ask is does she know what she is doing? does she know how to do the exercises? Since my girl is totally new to lifting, i think just letting her do her thing would mean she would end up on an eliptical since thats all she knows how to do (confidently i mean). also for some reason dumbells seem to be less intimidating to women than barbells(in my experience).

Another thing to think about if your girl is new to lifting like mine is:
Keep the intensity down a bit. Do only a few sets (10X3 is not a good idea here) of each movement, use a weight that she can move with some strain but not to failure, and stick to higher rep ranges to start. This allows learning of proper form, recovery is manageable, and keeps her from being bored.

You dont want her to feel like you do on squat day even though you may love it ( i know i do), the nausia may just make her want to give up.

ease into things and make her feel comfortable.


I only said "if shes white" because as in Scrubs... :smiley:

"whats the difference between a white woman and a black woman?!"

Turk: "when a black woman aks if her ass looks big in dat, you say "HELL YEAH". :smiley:

neways. ignore me... :smiley:


Check out the articles in this link

"How to Build a T-Vixen" is in there, along with some others for her, like "The T-Vixen Roundtable". Good luck!


My suggestion, if she is familiar with lifting at all, is to give her space. From the mention above, and in the article, it states that our women can be most imtimidated by us guys. We're the hot-shot know-it-alls. I mean, we're the ones putting up 400 lb BP and they only have 60 lbs. I'm sure you can gloat over her plenty and help her with form, breathing, timing, etc. But I tell you what, in the beginning nobody wanted to hear all that. She wants to hear what shes doing right, not everything thats wrong (though you shouldnt let everything slide).

I would say if you go together, direct her but don't dominate over her. She's gotta find those exercises, probably much like you, that she loves. Show her what routines you enjoy and let her feel things out. Ask her what she would like to improve, and show her what she can do to help. Even if that means tricep kickbacks, instead of dips or close BP. Silly, but you gotta give her reasonable goals at the beginning.

I betcha, one of the biggest reasons she would like to go is to be with you. If you're critical of every single thing, she won't want to go with you ever again. Encourage and direct. She'll figure it out over time. And start her at med to low weight. A month of getting an exercise movement down is better than an injury.

My 2 cents.


Thanks for the input all, I really need it. FamilyJewels, It could work but its not true though. Besides, Im really happy in this relationsship and I honestly dont think thats a something that might make it better:P
rrjc5488, I dont know if she would kick me in the balls, but Im fairly sure she would kill me...
Norweige, I was, or rather we were actually thinking bout it. We both work (I work, shes in college) long days wich dont leave much time for eachother during the weeks so it would give us some quality time toghter to for the week days. I know some people to as you point out who it doesnt work for, but we
ll give it a shot, who knows? It might work, hell it will work. Great tips to, thanks!
millasur: Its absolutly gorgerous, and as I replied earlier, She?d kill me:)
UB07: Good points, god to know that I?m not alone!
Jillybop: The exact threads/articles I were looking for! I owe you!
Tank53: I broke out the notepad at once and scribbeld down:
- What she does right
- direkt, not dominate
- Feel things out
- reasonable goals
- encourage
- med to low wheights
Thanks tank, great tips: basic yet so basic (not all though) that one easily can forget them!

Thanks all, I really appreciate all the input, now I wont be able to stop posting threads since I`ll be counting on your help:P