My heart goes out to you dear friend, and I pray that you will soon find the relief you’re looking for. I agree with most everything the people above have said, especially Michelle who seems to give consistently good advice even for a girl(jk :o). I don’t post much as I enjoy learning from more experienced trainers as far as bb goes, but I feel rather qualified to offer some different ideas.
First, be very wary of what this does to your confidence! I think this proves to be the make it or break it quality as far as relationships go, and if you don’t feel confident now then that’s okay–fake it! Fake it till you make it, or so the saying goes. Careful that your confidence does not overcompensate by giving way to ego; confidence is believing you’re great, but ego is thinking that you’re better than everyone else. Believe that you’re great and others will follow suit.
Devote your time to nurturing what you know is a wounded self-image, and realize that it takes time just as building a really great body does too. Do things that you’re good at or that make you feel confident in yourself, safe things that don’t hurt other people in the process lest guilt plague you later. If the gym gives you confidence then do it and do it bigtime; if you have a big group of friends then hang out with them if they truly build you up; if you’re spritual then now is a great time to turn to whatever god you may believe in and let yourself be carried; if you’re parents are still alive then use this opportunity to bolster your relationship with them–they will undoubtedly tell you how great you are and will help you find your feet again.
My friend, it’s okay to be wounded; give yourself a purple heart for your hurting heart and wear it with some pride. Hold your head up because you allow yourself to really feel and care in a relationship rather than retreat and hold back to coddle your manly ego like many guys do–it takes real strength to endure real pain. And, only with your head held high will you be able to see the right woman when she passes your way.
Don’t try to get over it whatever you do–channel it into making yourself the better man. Michelle is right on that it will take years to get completely over such a longtime love, and it happens without your effort or even your notice, but you see her again one day and you feel no malice and no regret. Don’t delude yourself and bottle feelings to “feel better” by masking what’s really there–such is the path to more trouble. Hurt, be proud for hurting, build your confidence one stone at a time, renew your friendships, and keep your head up–you may meet your wife tomorrow and you won’t want to miss it. All the best and my prayers are yours my friend…take care.