T Nation

Getting Married for the Benefits?

I have a buddy that is in the military and mentioned to me that he is considering getting married to his girlfriend because it would give him $250 per month extra as part of his housing allowance. His girlfriend in turn would get free healthcare and military benefits as per the privileges of being a military dependent.

Which got me to thinking–why not just have a paper wedding of my own to some random military girl? She would get an extra $250 per month and in return I would get free healthcare and military benefits. I pay $75 per month for healthcare currently, and I’m not looking forward to getting my own gym membership when my brother’s reservist ID expires. Hell, I’ll even get movies for a dollar cheaper.

If I were to do this, I’d go into it with a pre-nup that states that either party can dissolve the marriage at any time for any (or no) reason. My wife and I would not share any financial assets and I would not be liable for any debt she incurred. Basically, we would be married in name only, with no other link to each other and able to be free at any time.

So, the question is–is this right to do? I can only think of two potential qualms:

  1. It devalues the “sanctity of marriage” and would cheapen it for the future.

  2. I would be cheating the government and playing the system, which is wrong.

My own responses to these issues are as follows: (1) I do not care much for the sanctity of marriage and frankly think it is an outmoded and irrelevant social institution. (2) Considering I don’t respect marriage as an institution that much, I don’t feel bad about using the system. Hopefully the government gets wise and takes away said benefits.

So my questions to you out there are (a) do you think that what I am doing is wrong and why, (b) am I doing anything illegal or that will bite my ass in the future), and © if you are a woman, would you marry me for the extra cash?

(a) Yes, but then I do value marriage so we have opposite views on that.

(b) Yes, it is fraud. If you marry a military woman, she’ll need you to live with her to get some of that money - after all, at that point you’d be a dependent. Plus what’re you gonna do when she as to PCS to her next duty location?

© No, some things areN’T worth the extra money. The risk versus reward just wouldn’t be there for me (from a purely logical and amoral aspect).

(fixed: are to aren’t)

People get caught doing this all the time. Trust me, you don’t want to get caught trying to cheat the US Military.

I’ve seen a few people get married prior to a deployment for the benefits in my unit. A quick buck is never as easy as it sounds. We warned them, but they didn’t listen. Upon our return, when they find out that their ‘wife’ has taken out loans, credit cards, etc in their name for FAAAAR more than they made while deployed they will understand why we warned them.

Also keep in mind that if a woman gets pregnant while married, her husband IS the legal father whether he was 8,000 miles away on the night of conception or not.

Hey, maybe you are different though.

[quote]Fiction wrote:
(2) Considering I don’t respect marriage as an institution that much, I don’t feel bad about using the system. Hopefully the government gets wise and takes away said benefits.
[/quote]

Regardless of how you feel about marriage or the system, why would you want the government to take away benefits that most of the ppl who get them rely on? Unlike you or your dumb ass friend there are ppl that have real families and need the extra money they get to pay their bills b/c unless you are a commissioned officer you dont make dick.

Military folks routinely get nailed for this… and the punishment can go from fines, reduction in rank, all the way up to jail time. Not worth it.

[quote]Himora22 wrote:
Fiction wrote:
(2) Considering I don’t respect marriage as an institution that much, I don’t feel bad about using the system. Hopefully the government gets wise and takes away said benefits.

Regardless of how you feel about marriage or the system, why would you want the government to take away benefits that most of the ppl who get them rely on? Unlike you or your dumb ass friend there are ppl that have real families and need the extra money they get to pay their bills b/c unless you are a commissioned officer you dont make dick.[/quote]

Yup I agree. The risk vs. reward isnt worth it either. Women are emotional and trip, lawd only knows what happens when the 2 of you end up having to live together and she starts to LIKE you…

Sounds like fraud to me. Do you want to be that kind of guy?

It worked for me! j/k

But seriously, it was either get married, or one of us had to move back into the barracks cause we were so poor, lol…crazy, ya…but we knew we were going to get married one day, so it just happened sooner than later.

You can read about idiots like this every day that work their asses off to screw the system, but are too lazy to get a job and make a dollar working honestly…being a criminal is a lot of work.

This has disaster written all over it. Statistically speaking, marriage fails when both people want it to work. And how do you think you will fare when even that is not the case?

[quote]mom-in-MD wrote:

It worked for me!
[/quote]

LOL

[quote]Optimistic Cynic wrote:
I’ve seen a few people get married prior to a deployment for the benefits in my unit. A quick buck is never as easy as it sounds. We warned them, but they didn’t listen. Upon our return, when they find out that their ‘wife’ has taken out loans, credit cards, etc in their name for FAAAAR more than they made while deployed they will understand why we warned them.

Also keep in mind that if a woman gets pregnant while married, her husband IS the legal father whether he was 8,000 miles away on the night of conception or not.[/quote]

As I mentioned previously, a pre-nup would be required for this to work…basically a no-strings attached marriage. Did you read what I wrote?

[quote]Himora22 wrote:
Regardless of how you feel about marriage or the system, why would you want the government to take away benefits that most of the ppl who get them rely on?[/quote]

For the same reason I don’t believe in the welfare system.

Shouldn’t that be a consideration you ought to have taken into account before you joined the military? Certainly something you should thought about before getting married.

Moreover, I know that that simply isn’t true. I come from a military family–both my brother and father were enlisted, I live near a major Air Force base, and most of my friends are joining the military.

Your base pay may be low (if you are just enlisting, but the bonuses and benefits afforded to you are innumerable. Talk about working the system–I know plenty of Naval ships when on cruise “just happen” to float into a tax-free zone for the first and last days of each month.

Bottomline–if the military doesn’t pay well enough for you, don’t join it. If you are joining it because you love what you do, then you are doing the job you love to do, just like the artists or teachers that don’t get paid dick. And if you’re joining it because it was the “only job you could get”…well, you’re probably being paid more than you’re worth.

Finally, so you don’t think I am a heartless bastard, I should be clear that I do believe any children dependents should get said benefits, just not the wives (unless they’re in the military of course :slight_smile: ).

[quote]LA wrote:
Military folks routinely get nailed for this… and the punishment can go from fines, reduction in rank, all the way up to jail time. Not worth it. [/quote]

What would they nail me on? I mean, who are they do say we don’t have a unique bond that stretches beyond sex, living together, or even talking yearly? :slight_smile:

Seriously though, I’m interested in what criteria they would prosecute me on.

[quote]Fiction wrote:

Seriously though, I’m interested in what criteria they would prosecute me on.[/quote]

Hear-say plus an investigation likely without your knowledge.

[quote]Professor X wrote:
Fiction wrote:

Seriously though, I’m interested in what criteria they would prosecute me on.

Hear-say plus an investigation likely without your knowledge.[/quote]

Like interview people around me and assess if I am really committed to the relationship? Even in that case though, are there really “standards” of marriage that must he adhered to? With all the weird people these days, what if we just had that “unique bond”? So long as neither one of us admitted it was for the benefits, could they do anything legally?

[quote]Fiction wrote:
Optimistic Cynic wrote:
I’ve seen a few people get married prior to a deployment for the benefits in my unit. A quick buck is never as easy as it sounds. We warned them, but they didn’t listen. Upon our return, when they find out that their ‘wife’ has taken out loans, credit cards, etc in their name for FAAAAR more than they made while deployed they will understand why we warned them.

Also keep in mind that if a woman gets pregnant while married, her husband IS the legal father whether he was 8,000 miles away on the night of conception or not.

As I mentioned previously, a pre-nup would be required for this to work…basically a no-strings attached marriage. Did you read what I wrote?

Himora22 wrote:
Regardless of how you feel about marriage or the system, why would you want the government to take away benefits that most of the ppl who get them rely on?

For the same reason I don’t believe in the welfare system.

Unlike you or your dumb ass friend there are ppl that have real families and need the extra money they get to pay their bills b/c unless you are a commissioned officer you dont make dick.

Shouldn’t that be a consideration you ought to have taken into account before you joined the military? Certainly something you should thought about before getting married.

Moreover, I know that that simply isn’t true. I come from a military family–both my brother and father were enlisted, I live near a major Air Force base, and most of my friends are joining the military.

Your base pay may be low (if you are just enlisting, but the bonuses and benefits afforded to you are innumerable. Talk about working the system–I know plenty of Naval ships when on cruise “just happen” to float into a tax-free zone for the first and last days of each month.

Bottomline–if the military doesn’t pay well enough for you, don’t join it. If you are joining it because you love what you do, then you are doing the job you love to do, just like the artists or teachers that don’t get paid dick. And if you’re joining it because it was the “only job you could get”…well, you’re probably being paid more than you’re worth.

Finally, so you don’t think I am a heartless bastard, I should be clear that I do believe any children dependents should get said benefits, just not the wives (unless they’re in the military of course :slight_smile: ).

LA wrote:
Military folks routinely get nailed for this… and the punishment can go from fines, reduction in rank, all the way up to jail time. Not worth it.

What would they nail me on? I mean, who are they do say we don’t have a unique bond that stretches beyond sex, living together, or even talking yearly? :slight_smile:

Seriously though, I’m interested in what criteria they would prosecute me on.[/quote]

Dood…you already have all the answers…why did you post if you were going to bash the info. people gave you without even giving it any consideration.

Why don’t you try a lawyer instead of an interweb forum?

[quote]sen say wrote:
Dood…you already have all the answers…why did you post if you were going to bash the info. people gave you without even giving it any consideration.

Why don’t you try a lawyer instead of an interweb forum?[/quote]

I can always learn something–if nothing else make myself aware of the most common objections even if I disagree with them–and people often point out things I hadn’t thought of and could effectively refute my position. I don’t think I’m above being wrong.

But I’m not just going to change my mind because most people thing it’s “a bad thing to do”. Lets go back and forth, maybe you can change my mind or I can change yours.

[quote]Fiction wrote:
Professor X wrote:
Fiction wrote:

Seriously though, I’m interested in what criteria they would prosecute me on.

Hear-say plus an investigation likely without your knowledge.

Like interview people around me and assess if I am really committed to the relationship? Even in that case though, are there really “standards” of marriage that must he adhered to? With all the weird people these days, what if we just had that “unique bond”? So long as neither one of us admitted it was for the benefits, could they do anything legally?[/quote]

Dude, do you plan on screwing anyone else during this fake marriage? Good luck on keeping that under wraps. You can’t even resist telling the entire internet about your plans. All it takes is one person with an agenda to tell on you.

Sleeping around when married is frowned upon greatly in the military…especially if you sleep with another soldier who isn’t your wife.

No i would not get married for those extra cash benefits.

I truely value marriage, and feel that people take it extremely lightly these days.

As for you doing it, if that benefits you and the other person and both of you are ok with it… why not?

[quote]Fiction wrote:
But I’m not just going to change my mind because most people thing it’s “a bad thing to do”. Lets go back and forth, maybe you can change my mind or I can change yours.[/quote]

No one can argue you out of how you feel regaring a moral issue. You’ve already come to your conclusion. Any arguments you throw up that we refute…you will come up with another argument.

This has been scientifically (well psychologically) proven…

The thing that pisses me off about your post though is that you aggressively attacked the poster that told you what you were talking about doing was stupid.

Did you read TC’s article last Friday about what it takes to be a man? Did you agree with it? I’m guessing that if you’re posting on this site that you must agree with the philosophy behind the site. The man TC was talking about in his article would not do what you’re contemplating.

Who are your heroes in life?

[quote]jchenky wrote:
As for you doing it, if that benefits you and the other person and both of you are ok with it… why not?

[/quote]

Just because 2 idiots are ok with something doesn’t make it right…is why not. There are moral questions that are absolute in their wrongness.

Think about it…they’re stealing money from the government, which means they are stealing money from every US citizen on this site…