T Nation

Getting Engaged!


#1

i have a feeling that i cant quite explain right now, like something hasnt quite sunk in just yet. i have been dating my girlfriend for 5 years (as of last week actually).

let me backtrack a minute. two years ago i put $5500 into the bank as a CD, then used it as collateral to get a smaller loan to buy my motorcycle. I knew if i bought the bike flat out id never start saving my money. with the loan/CD thing, i paid a small monthly fee, and in the end id still have my $5500. Anyway, at that time my girlfriend was talking about how "we were ready"- well, no we weren't. I do not like to rush into things, especially big decisions. I also knew that at that time I didn't have near enough to put a ring I would be happy with on her finger, regardless if she would have been (that may sound backward, I know). I just wanted to do it right. Anyway- at the time I told her that when that loan was paid off, the $5500 would go towards her ring.

Last week I collected the CD, paid the balance on the loan, pulled some other funds, and put $5000 in my savings for the ring.

Today my beloved motorcycle rolled loudly down the street under the ass of its new owner, add another $5000 in the bank. (side note- it was time to sell it, I had more important things to do, and it's just one more thing I can control in this world- with no motorcycle, I at least know I won't die in a motorcycle crash.)

So tonight we are at the mall buying jeans, that was my only intention.

We were passing by a jewelry store that I know to be quite good, so I asked her if she wanted to go in to look. Mind you- we had looked on bluenile.com recently, so it was really meant to be a casual, let's check their prices vs. those we've seen on bluenile. Of course, there is a setting that she loves. Platinum, little diamonds all around it, etc. It's beautiful. And of course, economy being what it is, it was on a ridiculous sale. More importantly, she LOVED it. I knew that after seeing that ring, the one she thought she loved on bluenile wasn't going to cut it. (nothing against bluenile- great site, more on that in a bit).

So as I sweep her away out of that store, planning already to come back later, I can see that she is torn up, because she knows the ring won't last. She wasn't acting like a brat, in fact she was even doing a pretty good job of masking the feeling that she just left her dream ring, for a dream price, that more than likely wouldn't be there much longer.

Fast forward, I went back and bought it. The only problem was that I then needed a 1.5 carrat round cut diamond to go in it! My budget was for the 1.15 carrat that I thought was her dream ring on bluenile!!

The prices they were giving me for the diamonds in the store that I bought the setting in were ridiculous. Horribly overpriced, and the quality was not even very good. For those that know the lingo- I was shown several 1.5 carrat diamonds that were G color, but at most VS1 clarity. I explained to the lady that I would be much more interested in I color, with VVS1+ clarity. One even had a nice little black "feather" sitting right in the middle, clearly visible without a loop!- and the price on that was $9000+! She showed me one that wasn't much better with "regular" price of $21,000 that was on sale for $11k something. Needless to say, after the first couple, I knew where I was buying the diamond.

Enter bluenile.com- 1.50carrat, I- color, VVS1, ideal cut, etc- $9151. I am happy with this. It will be at my door on Thursday.

I knew I wanted at least 1 carrat, but I had thought if it went over, it would only be slightly. I am 24 years old, to me, a 1.5carrat (+the diamonds on the setting itself) is a big ring- and it is a pretty nice diamond. I wouldn't have been able to pull this off without bluenile.com, I highly recommend it.

Anyway, this isn't a bluenile advertisement, just expressing everything running through my mind right now.

I am planning on proposing on Christmas, although I have to talk to some girl-friends of mine, I don't know if that is tacky or not.

I can take a pic of the setting if anyone is interested to see it, but know that at this point the CZ is in it until the real one arrives and gets set.

thanks.


#2

Awesome dude. I’m wicked excited for ya. Post pics of the setting.
By the way, there’s nothing tacky about proposing on Christmas.


#3

Hmmm… I will be looking into a ring soon myself. How much did you spend in all? Sounds like a shit load of money. Christ. I don’t think I will spend that much, and I make decent money lol.


#4

should have went with clarity enhanced ;).

There seems to be 2 camps on this, but my fiance lovers her ring and everyone else has made great comments on it.

However, with what we’re spending on the wedding, even on a budget, I shouldn’t have gotten the ring, shit gets expensive.

I got the following with a clarity enhanced

Platinum setting 1.08 center stone with .5 4 small stones $2800
E color, VS1 clarity.
You can’t see anything wrong with the naked eye on a true VS1 clarity ring


#5

These jewelry stores located in malls seem to be very overpriced. You can do much better by going to a local jewelry store and be sure to ask for the certificate that the diamond gets when it is graded by the GIA. There are other places that certify diamonds, but when you see a rating given by the GIA you can believe the diamond is exactly what it says. Most will even come with a map showing you where every flaw in the diamond is located.


#6

[quote]markdp wrote:
Hmmm… I will be looking into a ring soon myself. How much did you spend in all? Sounds like a shit load of money. Christ. I don’t think I will spend that much, and I make decent money lol.[/quote]

setting was on a ridiculous sale, even bluenile couldnt beat it. originally $2400+, total including tax = $1001 and change. platinum w/ .33 or .4 something, i dont even remember t.c.

diamond itself, 1.5carrat, I color, VVS1, Ideal cut= $9,151 and change.

total- $10,152.

the store i bought the setting will set it i believe for free. if not free, im sure the fee is nothing compared to the rest.


#7

[quote]jehovasfitness wrote:
should have went with clarity enhanced ;).

There seems to be 2 camps on this, but my fiance lovers her ring and everyone else has made great comments on it.

However, with what we’re spending on the wedding, even on a budget, I shouldn’t have gotten the ring, shit gets expensive.

I got the following with a clarity enhanced

Platinum setting 1.08 center stone with .5 4 small stones $2800
E color, VS1 clarity.
You can’t see anything wrong with the naked eye on a true VS1 clarity ring[/quote]

i am not familiar with clarity enhanced, it isn’t an option on bluenile.com, but i know that i got the best price i could for that diamond, i have been looking for a while.

also, the stone is round cut, with many, many facets, which does make the price climb


#8

[quote]jisboss wrote:
These jewelry stores located in malls seem to be very overpriced. You can do much better by going to a local jewelry store and be sure to ask for the certificate that the diamond gets when it is graded by the GIA. There are other places that certify diamonds, but when you see a rating given by the GIA you can believe the diamond is exactly what it says. Most will even come with a map showing you where every flaw in the diamond is located.[/quote]

yea, it’s funny because i wanted to go into the store just to prove to myself i guess, that i was getting a much, much better deal on bluenile.com, rather than a jewelry store. There are several jewelry stores in the mall, zales, etc, and then there are two that generally have more higher end stuff- i went into one of those. its called Bailey, Banks and Biddle, i dont know if they are nationwide, but there’s more than one.

but yes, i know that they are overpriced for sure, even when they are having their “ridiculous sales” they are still overpriced. Although, I can’t say that the setting i bought was overpriced- the setting i was looking at on bluenile.com was $1600, and i like the one i bought much more.

but as i said above, the diamonds they were showing me in the store were not as high a quality as i would have liked, and were thousands more than the higher quality one i bought on bluenile.com.

as far as bluenile.com, i actually heard about it on this site. a few months ago when i decided to start looking i remembered reading about it on here, so i gave a look. although it looked legit, i still felt weird about buying a several thousand dollar engagement ring through a website having never seen it in person. I went to work and talked to a couple girls there, one recently engaged, and theyd both heard of it and had girlfriends that had rings from there and loved them, so i felt safe after hearing that.

i will say, she better not lose the fucking thing.


#9

oh and pics- i took a couple with my phone and theyre shit. i refuse to post them because they dont do the ring justice at all. i dont have a digital, but ill see what i can work out…


#10

clarity enhanced is basically where they take a laser and remove some impurties. IIRC they can only improve it by one grade. some people look down on them, hence the price cut.

My ring is appraised for $9500 IIRC.

seriously, you might want to research this and save yourself a lot of cash.


#11

Wife’s engagement ring = 13,750
Wife’s wedding ring = 2,500
The wedding ring I wanted = 1,750
The wedding ring I got = 485

Congrats man. Marriage is pretty cool actually. I talk a lot of shit, but am completely in love with my wife, and still pretty happy about my choice.


#12

[quote]dez6485 wrote:
jisboss wrote:
These jewelry stores located in malls seem to be very overpriced. You can do much better by going to a local jewelry store and be sure to ask for the certificate that the diamond gets when it is graded by the GIA. There are other places that certify diamonds, but when you see a rating given by the GIA you can believe the diamond is exactly what it says. Most will even come with a map showing you where every flaw in the diamond is located.

yea, it’s funny because i wanted to go into the store just to prove to myself i guess, that i was getting a much, much better deal on bluenile.com, rather than a jewelry store. There are several jewelry stores in the mall, zales, etc, and then there are two that generally have more higher end stuff- i went into one of those. its called Bailey, Banks and Biddle, i dont know if they are nationwide, but there’s more than one.

but yes, i know that they are overpriced for sure, even when they are having their “ridiculous sales” they are still overpriced. Although, I can’t say that the setting i bought was overpriced- the setting i was looking at on bluenile.com was $1600, and i like the one i bought much more.

but as i said above, the diamonds they were showing me in the store were not as high a quality as i would have liked, and were thousands more than the higher quality one i bought on bluenile.com.

as far as bluenile.com, i actually heard about it on this site. a few months ago when i decided to start looking i remembered reading about it on here, so i gave a look. although it looked legit, i still felt weird about buying a several thousand dollar engagement ring through a website having never seen it in person. I went to work and talked to a couple girls there, one recently engaged, and theyd both heard of it and had girlfriends that had rings from there and loved them, so i felt safe after hearing that.

i will say, she better not lose the fucking thing. [/quote]

No actual experience with this, but it’s something I’d do.

Insuring Your Wedding Ring
It’s more than just a fashion statement. A wedding ring is a symbol of everlasting love and commitment. So it goes without saying that insurance is probably not the first thing that comes to mind when you glance down at the wedding ring on your finger. But while insurance can never replace the sentimental value of a wedding ring, it can give you some peace of mind in knowing that it would be covered if something ever happened to it.

Making sure you have proper coverage

Your homeowners/renters insurance policy won’t cover your wedding ring if it is lost. However, it will probably cover your wedding ring to some extent if it is stolen. Keep in mind that you’ll need to check your policy, since a coverage limit may apply for certain types of personal property (in this case, your ring). If you want to make sure that your wedding ring is covered for loss, or if the value of your wedding ring exceeds the coverage limits on your homeowners/renters insurance policy, you may want to look into purchasing either a floater or a stand-alone policy.

A floater provides you with a specific amount of coverage for your ring based on its appraised value. With a floater, the insurance company has the option of paying the appraised amount or replacing the ring. Keep in mind that more often than not, your insurer will replace the ring.

A stand-alone policy is a type of insurance that is specially designed to protect valuable items. If you purchase a floater or stand-alone policy, however, your insurance company will probably require you to have your ring appraised by a certified jeweler.

Finally, while you’re at it, now may be a good time to review the adequacy of your insurance coverage for all of your valuable items (e.g., your engagement ring, china, silver, or crystal). If you need help finding out if your valuables are properly insured, contact your insurance agent or insurance company for more information.


#13

I’m 24 and make 41k a year plus bonuses of a few thousand, I don’t know how the fuck I’ll ever have that much to put down on a ring + at the same time save for a house. WTF? Age-adjusted, I do pretty well. Maybe I’ll start stealing things.


#14

If you are worried about her losing it the check out having it insured. take a look at http://www.jewelersmutual.com/


#15

[quote]msd0060 wrote:
I’m 24 and make 41k a year plus bonuses of a few thousand, I don’t know how the fuck I’ll ever have that much to put down on a ring + at the same time save for a house. WTF? Age-adjusted, I do pretty well. Maybe I’ll start stealing things.[/quote]

exactly, by the time you pay for a ring, wedding, honeymoon, that is a down payment on a house. Fuck, I wish I thought this through more and talked to her about what was the most important to her.
B/C all 3 is hurting us.


#16

So…

“Why don’t you give that six months. You donn’t think that’s gonna change. I got a wife, kids. Do I sound like a happy guy to you Frankie? There’s my wife. Now, see that: always smiling, hi honey, judging, watching. Look at the baby, look at the baby!”

“Well, alright, let me be the first to say congratulate you then. You get one vagina for the rest of your life. Real smart Frank. Way to work it through.”

Somebody had to say it…


#17

[quote]countingbeans wrote:
Wife’s engagement ring = 13,750
Wife’s wedding ring = 2,500
The wedding ring I wanted = 1,750
The wedding ring I got = 485

Congrats man. Marriage is pretty cool actually. I talk a lot of shit, but am completely in love with my wife, and still pretty happy about my choice.[/quote]

Pix of the engagement ring.


#18

[quote]jehovasfitness wrote:
msd0060 wrote:
I’m 24 and make 41k a year plus bonuses of a few thousand, I don’t know how the fuck I’ll ever have that much to put down on a ring + at the same time save for a house. WTF? Age-adjusted, I do pretty well. Maybe I’ll start stealing things.

exactly, by the time you pay for a ring, wedding, honeymoon, that is a down payment on a house. Fuck, I wish I thought this through more and talked to her about what was the most important to her.
B/C all 3 is hurting us. [/quote]

If you look around, you’ll see plenty of guys that have wives, that they married, bought engagement rings for, and went on honeymoons with, that live in houses that they own. In fact, people have been doing it for a while now.

It’s the American dream. Work, save, buy something. Work, save, buy small house. Work, Work, Save, Trade up to slightly bigger house. Work, save, Work, save, buy medium house. Work, save…etc. Then you’re 65, have a huge house, kids are gone, so you downsize. Ha, that’s funny.


#19

Personally, I wouldn’t give it to her on Christmas.

I think a day or a place that was special to both of you, would be better. I’m not a big fan of combining two special occasions on one day.


#20

This is bullshit. Youre probably smart enough to have run through all of this, but maybe one last time to freshen your memory so here it goes…

why are you getting married? if you stip it down, its only because society tells you thats what you’re supposed to do. Are you really done experiencing new things, traveling and discovering life? or are all those things accomodated when you buy a house and get stuck for the next two decades in maryland? You don’t think theres literally MILLIONS of girls you could spend 5 years with???

you’ve been with this person for 5 years… thats 5 years taken off the total time you’ll be able to stand her. honestly - we live in a world where nothing is permanent - theres going to be a time where you will not love this person.

dont do it.