T Nation

Getting Bullied at Uni: What to do?

Dude, if you think of yourself as a pussy, you’ll be a pussy.

2 options.

  1. Get in his face, and tell him to back the fuck off and never fucking touch/bother you again.

  2. If option 1 doesn’t work, swing on him.

It’s all in the mind, brother. In college, one of my great friends was this diminutive little Indonesian dude. I mean dude was short, thin, and some what nerdy. Except he possessed the heart of a mother fucking LION. When this guy lost his shit, he fucking lost his SHIT. It was a site to be seen and it literally struck fear into the heart of people around him.

Anyway, he was on a prestigious business summer internship in London, with a bunch of other students from other schools. A D1 college wrestler, got drunk and stole his roommates vodka. My buddy went up to him and tried to get the vodka back. When that didn’t work, he fought him. A short, little Indonesian fuck, fought a college wrestler. My boy didn’t give a FUCK. He didn’t get his ass beat (although he did get sucker fish-hooked by the guy later on) and he didn’t get kicked out or expelled from this internship abroad program. This guy gained so much respect from everyone around him, and the story became stuff of folklore around the business school.

This motherfucker didn’t have the physical goods to back shit up, but mentally the guy was so powerful. Never took shit from anybody, not men, not women and not even prick professors.

Ben,

I understand you’re in a tough situation and a lot of these guys giving you answers are fairly young and think that they would step up no matter what, but that’s just not the truth. I also believe a lot of these guys aren’t taking into consideration you’re personality type. So here is my suggestion.

First, you can not let something like this slide. I know you’re probably hopeing this situation will rectify itself, but it isn’t going to happen. You have to deal with this now. How you deal with this is up to you entirely, but I promise if you take my advice you won’t ever have a problem with this guy again.

You need to confront him and without saying a word you need to kick him as hard as you can in the groin. I am not joking. Once he falls down you need to break his nose with your fist. I am sure you’re saying to yourself there is no way you can do this, but you can. You have the strength inside of you to do this.

Once you have done this you need to tell him in a very firm voice that if he fucks with you again, you’re going to hurt him worse next time and then walk away. You need to do this somewhere other than your dorm.

Finally, don’t think that is a pussy move or it isn’t fair, anybody who tells you this has not had their fair share of street fights. I hope you take my advice and if you need any help or have any questions please don’t hesitate to ask.

P.S. I know what I’m talking about. I helped put myself thru college working as a bouncer in various bars and clubs in the Orange County area.

Fuck dude, tell this guy something at least.


this

or what big boss said

The “deeply ingrained, sensible side” is not employed by instinct. It’s employed by your conscience, which hasn’t been doing you any good.

Look. To grab someone’s attention, you have to assess what is dear to them.

What’s he looking forward to? (And don’t say “nothing.” Everyone looks forward to something.)

Find it, and make sure to pose a threat to it somehow. It will make him listen.

fight him
and dont hold back

trust me
you will like it

Lol that you have to write an essay cuz some dude harassed you…really come on now.

Dude, you should just go psychonerd, sneak into his dorm when he’s drunk with a taser, and blast him in the neck or head with it. Then pull out a billy club, and beat the fuck out of his face. Then tie his ass up, give him some smelling salts and put some scissors over his nutsack.

Tell him if he fucks with you again, you are a psycho nerd, and you will perpetrate in ways you haven’t done sine Lufia 2, so don’t FUCK WITH ME.

He’ll get the point…

here is something I don’t understand.

To the OP: Why do u see violence as “wrong”??? As something you cannot/should not do???

wtf man???

[quote]Neospartan wrote:
here is something I don’t understand.

To the OP: Why do u see violence as “wrong”??? As something you cannot/should not do???

wtf man???

[/quote]

Yeah, nothing wrong with a punch up as long as you don’t end up stabbing the guy to death.

Seriously, you may get a little hurt if you fight him but you will feel better about yourself and he won’t fuck with you anymore. You won’t usually get in that much trouble either - especially since you aren’t provoking him.

Warn him one last time. Tell him to stop.

If he continues remember this:

  1. You fuckin lift

  2. You’re probably fuckin stronger

  3. You fuckin train MMA

Grow some balls and beat the shit out of him. That way you have warned him a lot of times to stop. In this case it’s him that is doing something ‘wrong’ not you. Keep that in mind.

Or at least give some payback similar to the shit he’s doing to you.

Or both.

Or continue being a pussy and in a few years time you will regret not having reacted to that shit. In the back of your mind you’re always know you are a pussy if you don’t stop being one, that my friend is hard to live with. React man.

You need to kick his ass.

It’s probably a little late for this, because it’s ultimately supposed to happen WHILE he’s being a dick to you.

Only blunt objects are allowed. Things get dangerous with knives and stuff.

Get him bloody, get him spitting teeth, and you’ll be alright.

More, you’ll be doing him a favor his parents never did by showing him this behavior is frowned upon by men.

Violently frowned upon.

Thanks for the responses - at about 4am I finally got to sleep after calling security just to stop them generally making noise. No way in hell I want to be overly tired for my max effort squat session tommorow. They didnt do anything mind - all the guys ran and hid away in their rooms then went to bed.

Im going down to housekeeping in a short while to report things to get my door cleaned. I just dont want to have to clean piss off my door/floor for something I didnt do.

It feels that college/uni in the US is literally like what you see in the movies - you can get away with all kinds of shit with pranks and fights and it all seems to get brushed off in the same way a scrap at school rarely goes to court/gets reported to police.

I get the impression that here in the UK most of us are assholes who upon you squaring up to them for a beat down would either:
a) pull a knife on you
b) report to authorities

Neither of the above seem worth potentially getting kicked out of uni… Especialy for some asshole who is about to drop out.

I think I will be more covered should I decide to do anything physical when/if he does something a bit more threatening/more physical.

Part of me was considering speaking to head of the course next year so the jerk cant even come back.

If any shit comes up Ill go with the solid advice layed down by Big_Dave… Foot to groin followed by a few punches to the face.

Its annoying to think that last night when he was walking off laughing at me he gave up his back several times to me - I could have done all sorts! guh!.. but then hey Im a pussy.

[quote]benmoore wrote:
Part of me was considering speaking to head of the course next year so the jerk cant even come back.
[/quote]

That’s some good stuff. Yes he deserves it.

[quote]HolyMacaroni wrote:
JaX Un wrote:
man the fuck up.

bullies do not exist in college. if he continues to fuck with you, find him and tell him to stop. don’t demand and apology, you are a guy. if he doesn’t stop after you saying “leave me the fuck alone” then hit the mother fucker in the face.

agreed. i used to get bullied a bit in highschool. hell, look at my avatar, that was me junior year, lol.

i think the best thing for me was finding the weight room. the confidence gained has definatly changed my life. granted, adding 80+lbs to my frame probably helped as well, lol.

but jax is right, a bully is a part of middle and high school. if there is someone acting like this this in college, he’s just a friggin asshole. you need to find him when he’s not drunk and explain to him, ‘hey man, what you did last night was fucked up’. he’ll either apologize and it’ll be good, or he’ll blow it off. either way, you’ll know where you stand with the guy.

and yeah, sometimes a guy needs a knee in the face to wake him up.

haha, which reminds me. i had a guy screwing with me in military school the night before a huge inspection. he wouldn’t let it go and the chain of command wasn’t helpful, so after warning him to get off my back, i ended up slamming him on the ground and giving him a piece of my mind. if i can find that video i’ll put up here, haha.[/quote]

That’s you? Holy fuck i thought it was a random pic of some skinny douchebag and you were trying to be ironic.
Damn son.

[quote]blazindave wrote:
That’s you? Holy fuck i thought it was a random pic of some skinny douchebag and you were trying to be ironic.
Damn son.[/quote]

That used to be him, I think he’s a lot bigger now.

OP,the fact that you wrote this, and seem unwilling to stand up for yourself at all, leads me to belive you ARE a cunt, as this guy said. it may well be why you were excluded from your social group, as well. you sound like you probably worry obsessively about a lot of things, which can turn people off from you.

grow up. if you continue to let people take advantage of you, it will never stop. after university, it will be a boss or fellow employee. this doesnt mean you have to turn into a commando to deal with the guy, but hiding in your room under the covers, thats as weak as it gets.

and just so you think im not an asshole, i was very much like you at one point. i took all sorts of shit because i felt it wasnt right somehow to fight back in kind. so i was 21 and my old boss would step on me all the time, in his mind he was just “busting balls”. i finally got fed up, and i quit one day in the middle of the dinner rush (worked at a restaurant). at that point he realized that he would be up shits creek if he didnt stop being a prick, and things changed greatly.

you NEED to grow up, NOW.

OP you sound like you have little respect for yourself. Not trying to flame you, though. You know how there are all these pretentious pricks that strut around with an inflated sense of entitlement? On the opposite pole from these twats are guys like you, who let people shit all over them out of some adolescent fear of confrontation.

I’m not saying you need to go beat old dude up, but you do need to learn how to stand up for yourself without turning into a quivering blob of jello. And no amount of thinking will get you there. Only practice will.

Sometimes, you shouldn’t consider all the angles and add up the pluses and minuses and rights and wrongs and consequences and contingencies. Sometimes, you just need to DO something.

you need to at least confront this guy when he is sobber. Just ask him strait up what his problem is. You need to create some kind of closure to a situation like that or it will lingure in your mind harming what ever confidence you have and will cause anyone who witnessed it to view you as week. By confrunting him now you can play it off that you wanted to be mature about to let yourself cool down and deal with him when he was sobber.

just my 2 cents

Decided what Im going to do:

My dad has a bottle of butyric acid at home… he put a couple of drops of it into a screwhole in a soap dispenser at the college where he works… the toilets had to be closed down for the rest of the day whilst the cleaners disinfected the place but they found nothing.

So Im thinking a syringe and a couple of ml under the fuckers door in a couple of weeks time when he thinks its all calmed down.

Im not going to start a shitstorm over this whole thing… unless he does something else :wink:

The fucker will be dropping out soon to waste some more of his shitty life.

I have no intention of giving up a well equipped gym with mma classes 200m from my door, cheap living and the chance to persue a subject that fascinates me just for some asshole who isnt going to get anywhere in life.

As I said - If something kicks off again Ill go apeshit and have some fun.

Im not planning on dying without any scars.

Thank you everyone.

So instead of actually handling it, you’re just going to wait until everyone’s forgotten about it and then pull some passive aggressive bullshit that you can giggle about in the safety of your room…

No wonder your friends decided you were a cunt and stopped hanging out with you. You are a cunt, a cowardly cunt with no social skills.