T Nation

Getting Bullied at Uni: What to do?

So Im a 21 year old first year physics student (had two years out) who used to get picked on at high school for just being… different I guess. Nothing in particular just something didnt seem to work with the other people. I had a few friends who were the nerds/outcasts and I soon turned to weightlifting as somewhere for me to go instead of sitting on my own in the playground. The weights room soon became the only real place I felt safe and happy… and to some extent this is how I feel today - its a major part of my life.

As for my general personality… Im quite passive, my hearts always in the right place and generally always been a goody two shoes due to upbringing. I tend to suck with bar/club situations in the social sense and tend to avoid them.

So I decided to go to uni and further my interest in physics… all was going swimmingly until a couple of months in I went from having a load of friends to just a few… didnt bother me much… I liked those guys and I still had the weights room.

Today I went up to wish someone who I thought I was “ok” with happy birthday after being invited up for a few drinks (I didnt have any alcohol - I gave up about 6 months ago). This guy is 25, about to drop out of uni some time between now and july and hopes to return next year to resit everything. Generally hes a funny guy but seems to get a bit worked up some times - particulary after a couple of drinks (sets off fire estinguishers, plays pranks etc.).

The guy sprays some drink on me… I grab a beer and chase him down corridoor and he hides in someones room… I wait for him… he opens door and squirts shaving cream in my eyes and whilst I yelp at the stinging he laughs his head off and slams door. I clean myself up… come back a bit annoyed - manage to force the door open and ask for an apology - only to be laughed in the face.

I walked off…

Guy walks past room, punches door and yells out “CUNT!”.
A bit later…
I hear movement outside and I look through peepwhole and hes throwing a bottle full of piss on my door.
A bit later…
He kicks my door really hard a few times.
And just now he tried to spray fire estinguisher under my door but I anticipated this and put a shirt down beforehand to prevent it going everywhere

I just shut down the moment he laughed in my face… its like a switch went off and I lost all confidence I had rebuilt. Im too scared to even open my door or window.

So yeah… currently I feel like a pathetic excuse for a “man”.

FML.

What do I do? A few people suggested I call warden/security… but im terrified that once they go it gets worse and maybe I end up being hurt =/

Currently sleeping with everything shut and locked and a 10 inch razor sharp knife by my bed.

nope… Call MTV and take them to Bully Beat Down.

You’ll earn some cash in the process.

[quote]aznt0rk wrote:
nope… Call MTV and take them to Bully Beat Down.

You’ll earn some cash in the process.[/quote]

I live in UK =[

Annoying thing is that at 98kg and some MMA training im semi confident of my ass kicking ability… Im definatly stronger then this guy but I dont know his experience - Which I know counts for a lot more.

Allright mate, thought id lend a hand to a fellow Englander :slight_smile:

If your in Manchester ill gladly come round there, save that im afraid your going to have to become someone your not.

He is doing those things as he KNOWS they will get to you, and i have every confidence he will continue this bullshit untill he leaves as he has nothing to lose …

So to stop this, don’t retaliate, just open the door if you need a cricket bat or something get it, and tell him quite bluntly to fuck off.

Generally people like that love the fun and the kick of annoying people, but when told put up or shut up, they generally shut up.

If you lift weights then i presume you look somewhat built ?

Your going to have to become someone your not for this to stop, unless you know someone who rather likes fighting :slight_smile:

Like i said im in college in Manchester if that helps, if not then buy a cricket bat swing it at his stomach and that shite will stop fast enough.

I bloody hate people who do that shit to people, grew up around travellers add to that im pretty fucking big makes me a “do not fuck with” guy.

At the end of this eat more, train harder… pm me if needed for gym/nutrition advice.

No one has the right to make your life unhappy, so stand up for yourself once in a while… as Tyler said in Fight Club … How much do you know about yourself if you have never been in a fight, you might surprise yourself :slight_smile:

Wish you best of luck

man the fuck up.

bullies do not exist in college. if he continues to fuck with you, find him and tell him to stop. don’t demand and apology, you are a guy. if he doesn’t stop after you saying “leave me the fuck alone” then hit the mother fucker in the face.

but in the mean time, i would piss in a bottle and throw it on his car/dorm room door.

shit works well too.

Was this just a one time ordeal that has you paranoid. Or does the harassment happen regularly?

[quote]JaX Un wrote:
man the fuck up.

bullies do not exist in college. if he continues to fuck with you, find him and tell him to stop. don’t demand and apology, you are a guy. if he doesn’t stop after you saying “leave me the fuck alone” then hit the mother fucker in the face.

but in the mean time, i would piss in a bottle and throw it on his car/dorm room door.

shit works well too.[/quote]

I know what I SHOULD do…

I should beat the crap out of the fucker or smear excretement on his door…

But the deeply ingrained sensible side of me is thinking “you dont have the balls to do it - besides he will be gone shortly anyway”.

[quote]Drizzt wrote:
Was this just a one time ordeal that has you paranoid. Or does the harassment happen regularly?[/quote]

This is the first time ive had anything like this…

Ive had a few insults before but I thought it was just banter…

And it got a little worse once I got pretty much excluded from the social group we are all part of.

Just let him hit it…he obviously wants ya pooper. Hell,he threw pissed on your door to mark his territory. Watch ya ass,son.

[quote]Big_Boss wrote:
Just let him hit it…he obviously wants ya pooper. Hell,he threw pissed on your door to mark his territory. Watch ya ass,son. [/quote]

Thanks Big_Boss.

[quote]JaX Un wrote:
man the fuck up.

bullies do not exist in college. if he continues to fuck with you, find him and tell him to stop. don’t demand and apology, you are a guy. if he doesn’t stop after you saying “leave me the fuck alone” then hit the mother fucker in the face.

[/quote]

agreed. i used to get bullied a bit in highschool. hell, look at my avatar, that was me junior year, lol.

i think the best thing for me was finding the weight room. the confidence gained has definatly changed my life. granted, adding 80+lbs to my frame probably helped as well, lol.

but jax is right, a bully is a part of middle and high school. if there is someone acting like this this in college, he’s just a friggin asshole. you need to find him when he’s not drunk and explain to him, ‘hey man, what you did last night was fucked up’. he’ll either apologize and it’ll be good, or he’ll blow it off. either way, you’ll know where you stand with the guy.

and yeah, sometimes a guy needs a knee in the face to wake him up.

haha, which reminds me. i had a guy screwing with me in military school the night before a huge inspection. he wouldn’t let it go and the chain of command wasn’t helpful, so after warning him to get off my back, i ended up slamming him on the ground and giving him a piece of my mind. if i can find that video i’ll put up here, haha.

[quote]benmoore wrote:
But the deeply ingrained sensible side of me is thinking “you dont have the balls to do it - besides he will be gone shortly anyway”.[/quote]

all guys go through a stage where we need to become men. This is your opportunity. I have been scared to do things in my past, but i still did them and i am still alive and i feel damn good for doing them. If he messes with you again…revenge my friend, is ever so sweet.

you will be happy after sticking up for yourself. If something bothers you in your life and you have the ability to fix it or try to fix it, then do it. It’s not going to get better on it’s own.

[quote]benmoore wrote:
Drizzt wrote:

And it got a little worse once I got pretty much excluded from the social group we are all part of.[/quote]

Thats garbage. Real friends would not exclude you from their group.

[quote]JaX Un wrote:
benmoore wrote:
But the deeply ingrained sensible side of me is thinking “you dont have the balls to do it - besides he will be gone shortly anyway”.

all guys go through a stage where we need to become men. This is your opportunity. I have been scared to do things in my past, but i still did them and i am still alive and i feel damn good for doing them. If he messes with you again…revenge my friend, is ever so sweet.

you will be happy after sticking up for yourself. If something bothers you in your life and you have the ability to fix it or try to fix it, then do it. It’s not going to get better on it’s own.
[/quote]

Amen

If I were to get into a situation like that. I’d ask myself what would Bas Rutten, Chuck Norris or Jesus do? Kick some ass my friend, kick some ass. You have no options. Either continue to get picked on, or go taddle tell and get more shit for that. Or man up and show that mother fucker you’re alpha and whoop his ass like alpha lions do when other males think they’re hot shit. Go Fedor on him and put him into a flying armbar. Saying to cut the childish bullshit or you’ll snap his fuckin arm in half.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D3K-mrlYG7Y

you gotta fuck him up dude. no two ways about it

also pics or it didn’t happen. video would be more acceptable.

[quote]JaX Un wrote:
benmoore wrote:
But the deeply ingrained sensible side of me is thinking “you dont have the balls to do it - besides he will be gone shortly anyway”.

all guys go through a stage where we need to become men. This is your opportunity. I have been scared to do things in my past, but i still did them and i am still alive and i feel damn good for doing them. If he messes with you again…revenge my friend, is ever so sweet.

you will be happy after sticking up for yourself. If something bothers you in your life and you have the ability to fix it or try to fix it, then do it. It’s not going to get better on it’s own.
[/quote]

I know… I need to become a man… Badly.

But with this - I dont know if I want to risk getting into shit with the authorities over someone who will be gone relatively soon anyway.

[quote]HolyMacaroni wrote:
JaX Un wrote:
man the fuck up.

bullies do not exist in college. if he continues to fuck with you, find him and tell him to stop. don’t demand and apology, you are a guy. if he doesn’t stop after you saying “leave me the fuck alone” then hit the mother fucker in the face.

agreed. i used to get bullied a bit in highschool. hell, look at my avatar, that was me junior year, lol.

i think the best thing for me was finding the weight room. the confidence gained has definatly changed my life. granted, adding 80+lbs to my frame probably helped as well, lol.

but jax is right, a bully is a part of middle and high school. if there is someone acting like this this in college, he’s just a friggin asshole. you need to find him when he’s not drunk and explain to him, ‘hey man, what you did last night was fucked up’. he’ll either apologize and it’ll be good, or he’ll blow it off. either way, you’ll know where you stand with the guy.

and yeah, sometimes a guy needs a knee in the face to wake him up.

haha, which reminds me. i had a guy screwing with me in military school the night before a huge inspection. he wouldn’t let it go and the chain of command wasn’t helpful, so after warning him to get off my back, i ended up slamming him on the ground and giving him a piece of my mind. if i can find that video i’ll put up here, haha.[/quote]

Good advice…

Except Im still not sure about the beating the crap out of someone yet.

[quote]Carlitosway wrote:
If I were to get into a situation like that. I’d ask myself what would Bas Rutten, Chuck Norris or Jesus do? Kick some ass my friend, kick some ass. You have no options. Either continue to get picked on, or go taddle tell and get more shit for that. Or man up and show that mother fucker you’re alpha and whoop his ass like alpha lions do when other males think they’re hot shit. Go Fedor on him and put him into a flying armbar. Saying to cut the childish bullshit or you’ll snap his fuckin arm in half.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D3K-mrlYG7Y[/quote]

Sadly im not bas ruten/chuck/jesus.